Plumber left job half done as had to be home for bedtime

[nextwed14]

So my parents who are in there 80's have been left with no heating or hot water this weekend as the plumber they had had to leave mid job at 530pm as Friday is his day to do "bedtime" - he has left the job half done and can come back on Tuesday (he doesn't work Mondays!) or my parents can find someone else. My dad got quite arsey with him but he said he has to go as his wife will go mad if he isn't home for bathtime as she can't bath both the children on her own. We have been phoning round all evening but we can't find anyone to finish the job - may have someone who can do it tomorrow afternoon.

It seems to be that nowadays mum and dad need to do bedtimes together- why is this? Surely one parent should be able to do it as I did with my kids and my parents did with me. I felt a bit sorry for the plumber as I think he probably did feel guilty but felt obliged to be home in time. Women seem to rely on too much support from their partners these days rather than just getting on with it.

Thoughts? I know I will probably be shot down in flames as mumsnet is very pro dads being very hands on but parents seem less competent in their jobs nowadays because they have so much pressure to be this hands on parent to help their other half.

I disagree. IMHO parenting is 50%, just because things were different in those days doesn’t mean that that’s how things should be now. It’s like saying just because I suffered so should you. I think bedtimes should be a shared experience but equally if plumber is on a job then probably should finish it, although not sure how it really works so will keep my opinion to myself with regards to that.

If he had to leave, he had to leave. It doesn’t matter why.

It's weird but I don't think one unprofessional plumber is symptomatic of wider world issues. It's generally a good thing that parents are hands on. It sounds like he just had poor time planning and was then unprofessional as a result, no matter what the reason he gave was 🤷‍♀️

Thankfully he isn't widowed. Some of us have no choice but to do everything alone.

Women seem to rely on too much support from their partners these days rather than just getting on with it.
You jumped the 🦈 with that....

So you want him to stay after his hours and let her wrangle two children. And your take away is why aren't women martyrs anymore ? Why doesn't she do probably a full time job and all the bedtime for two when life is easier sharing the load?

Your bar is too low. I would be very impressed with a father saying this. Regardless of why he had to leave, he had to leave.

It doesn’t matter what his parenting set up is.
Did he tell your parents he wouldn’t be able to finish the job?
Why couldn’t he put in temporary fixes so that they could have hot water?

To be honest I would be more concerned that any person, male or female was so stressed about the other partner they left elderly people like that.

Screams red flags

Wow what an absolute lemon. What a cringeworthy excuse. And insensitive too given a bath requires hot running water!

The reason he left is totally irrelevant. He may have wanted to meet the lads in the pub.

What job was he doing? More to the point did he promise to fix before COP today? What were the expectations?

You'd be impressed with a plumber that left your elderly parents without hot water or heating in winter because he couldn't organise the job within his available time? Wow.

I'd be apoplectic. That's an outrageous way to treat clients. Don't pay.

They could call an emergency plumber to complete the job if they have been left high and dry. The plumber they took on wasn't obliged to stay beyond his working hours. 5.30 is late for Friday finish for most tradesmen.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to go home if it’s going to take that much longer, did he discuss at the beginning how long it mah take? If it’s mid job at 5.30 it doesn’t sound like something that could have been finished that quickly

And by red flags I mean there is absolutely more to that.

He could be saying that for so many reasons, the children's health, his wife's health, his own health, he could be abusive and needing back to check on her, she might be abusive.

You just have no idea what goes on behind that door. Perhaps there are no children and he is going to the pub. Perhaps he is sitting with a dying relative, perhaps he could not fix it.

I would just be alert to what he has said for whatever reason that may be.

5:30pm is a reasonable time to finish a working day. If the job was 'half done' then you'd expect him to finish in the night?

It doesn't matter what he left for, his trading hours have finished. That's like a shop closing its doors at 6pm.

As to the only thing that you can question here - what were the expectations set out in this situation? Did he turn up at 4pm and expected to do a big job that day, did something go wrong? Did he say he will finish and didn't? That's the only thing you can be upset about here.

Yes, because this is what equality looks like

We don't have the information on the fox needed. It could need parts which are not available until the supply shop open Mondays, so yes fix on Tuesday.

Boil kettles, book another plumber.

But if the woman had to leave on the dot of 6:40 to collect the kids, you'd be gone with that, yes?

I think the job was harder and took longer than he originally thought and his wife phoned him and reminded him of the time... he then literally stopped what he was doing and said to us he forgot the time and he was expected home to do bedtime as Friday is his day. He did seem very very stressed - because it does seem a much longer job than he thought but it was literally 60 seconds from her phoning to him running off! I just think a little bit of courtesy at not completely leaving them in the lurch wouldn't have gone a miss.

It is partly my fault as I recommended this guy as he is my friends nephew and he is just starting out working for himself.

Not sure I understand this. A plumber will normally have a daily rate and it won't go on after 5.30.
Sounds like poor negotiation, what would happen if it wasn't finished etc.
I would expect the person to come back the next day if no heating or water.
Negotiation at the start is key.

5:30, not 6:40

To a certain extent I admire him, he's actually committed to his family and keeping his promises.

But that attitude doesn't work for such a trades man. I'm afraid there are some jobs where you can't just down tools and go home and you need a partner that supports you in that.

This is why I pay for a Homecare type policy. Yes it's cheaper to get things done as and when but they have a service level agreement and this shouldn't happen.

I hope your parents can find someone to fix this for then, then suggest they get a policy.

The reason he left is irrelevant. His working day was over.

But the issue is how long did he tell your parents it would take to complete the job? Was it an emergency? If not why was it started so late there wasn't enough time to complete it and leave an elderly couple with no heating and hot water?

So that's fine, whadda guy eh? All he had to do was refuse to take the job, or not start it when he knew he couldn't finish it. He had no right whatsoever to start, fuck off and leave your parents with no heating and hot water. It's just madness on MN lately, anything the menz do is amazing, period. Someone will be on here in a minute calling him a poor tradie.

This is ridiculous of the plumber: he's left an elderly couple with no heating or hot water for 3 days and they'll have had none today either. What a wanker. The weather is going to go colder this weekend.

He shouldn't have started what he couldn't finish when it's something as crucial as that. However, I find your other points about mothers to be rather strange. You don't know their circumstances, and you've made many assumptions in your post. I hope your parents managed to get things sorted out.