Plumber left job half done as had to be home for bedtime

[nextwed14]

So my parents who are in there 80's have been left with no heating or hot water this weekend as the plumber they had had to leave mid job at 530pm as Friday is his day to do "bedtime" - he has left the job half done and can come back on Tuesday (he doesn't work Mondays!) or my parents can find someone else. My dad got quite arsey with him but he said he has to go as his wife will go mad if he isn't home for bathtime as she can't bath both the children on her own. We have been phoning round all evening but we can't find anyone to finish the job - may have someone who can do it tomorrow afternoon.

It seems to be that nowadays mum and dad need to do bedtimes together- why is this? Surely one parent should be able to do it as I did with my kids and my parents did with me. I felt a bit sorry for the plumber as I think he probably did feel guilty but felt obliged to be home in time. Women seem to rely on too much support from their partners these days rather than just getting on with it.

Thoughts? I know I will probably be shot down in flames as mumsnet is very pro dads being very hands on but parents seem less competent in their jobs nowadays because they have so much pressure to be this hands on parent to help their other half.

So basically he's a young lad, inexperienced, finding his feet in the trade and under the thumb.

Lesson learned, never use this guy again.

The very least he could do is come back tomorrow to get it sorted.

That said, usually you need to build up a relationship with a gas fitter. Annual servicing means they usually treat you as a customer so get a bit of priority.

What tripe. They'll be open tomorrow morning. What responsible human leaves elderly customers with no heating or hot water?

"Women seem to rely on too much support from their partners these days rather than just getting on with it."

You mean the women "these days" who also work full time, often high-pressured jobs and literally don't have enough hours in the day to "just get on with it" without an equal split with parenting? Are you for real?

Not ideal that he didn't finish a job but admire him for putting his family first.

he is my friends nephew and he is just starting out working for himself.

He sounds a bit crap tbh. Can your friend have a word about not leaving your clients totally in the lurch if you want to build a business.

There's two problems here and you linked both together when it isn't the case.

He shouldn't have left your parents about hot water and he should've finished the job.

But, you are being unreasonable to say that men shouldn't pick up some of the parenting load it's not fair that it's always on women to just be the parent and men get away with doing nothing. It should be 50/50 that's the reason that men can get ahead in their careers because the women that I haven't picked up the slack and it's not fair to women.

Op you should have spoken to him on your parents behalf they are elderly.
Lack of communication here.

Women seem to rely on too much support from their partners these days rather than just getting on with it.

Really??!

Leave a review of leaving an elderly couple with no heating or hot water.
It's irrelevant of what reason for leaving is.

Charming, well where I am trade is mon-fri only 🤦‍♀️

My husband is a plumber, he aims to be home at 5.30 for dinner, bath, bed but not always achievable due to the nature of his work. The last 2 nights he has come home about 8pm and I had to get both kids in bed alone - not easy but not horrific.

That said, if I am really struggling for whatever reason I will ask him to be home on time if at all possible, however he would deem leaving someone without heating and hot water a situation where getting home on time is not possible.

They've already called some, and no one can get out to them tonight.

Oh ffs, some of these responses

He's a PLUMBER! He left an elderly couple with no heating or hot water and said he will come in FOUR DAYS.

Thats a shit show. Unprofessional and just embarrassing.

I've got a full-on job. And kids. I expect my husband to do his share. But I would be horrified if he left in the middle of a plumbing job and raced home to "do bedtime" because it required two people.

Unbelievable.

Wrangle? Putting two kids in the bath involves wrangling? I’d be so embarrassed if my husband thought I was incapable of looking after the children on my own for a bit while he finished work.

He should have finished the job. Luckily it wasn’t their window or roof left unfinished. Can they get someone else? They can leave a review to warn others that he leaves at a set time without getting the basic system up and running. He needs a set hours job in a factory or supermarket.

I can't believe you were making excuses for the guy! When you have elderly parents maybe your perspective will be different.

I agree that leaving an elderly couple without heat or hot water this weekend was unprofessional. If the plumber had to leave for any reason he should have provided a temporary fix or arranged for work to resume tomorrow.

I don’t think you can judge the fellow’s home life, wife or marriage, however.

Both mum and dad should be equally able to bathe the children, put them to bed, any other tasks, and both should be able to manage to do that alone when needed.

It's shockingly unprofessional of a tradesman to leave an elderly couple with no heating or hot water for the next three days! He should have stayed to complete the work, and if he really needed to go at a certain time he should have offered to return this evening or tomorrow morning latest to reconnect them. That's disgraceful conduct.

If I was you I wouldn't pay for any of the work done so far. Get an emergency plumber in instead to do the work properly.

Of course it's outrageous that the plumber has done this.
But the Op has decided to make it about him being a parent rather than just being shit at his job 🤷🏼‍♀️

I don’t admire him at all for putting his family first on this occasion. Completely terrible and unprofessional to leave anyone (never mind an elderly couple in winter) without heating or hot water for three days. If the job was more difficult than expected or he needed more materials, he should have been arranging to come round first thing on Saturday or getting someone else in. DH is a contractor and would never allow this to happen. I hope your parents are okay OP

We dont know all the facts here. Maybe he needed parts so couldnt fix it tonight anyway.

Or if it was just a matter of needing more time then he should come back tomorrow. He wont get far in the trade if he's not prepared to finish jobs for people after 5pm.

I don't rely on my husband for anything regarding my kids care

Leaving an elderly couple with no heating or hot water is thoughtless and unprofessional. You should inform your friend and never, ever use him again.

However you are being V V V unreasonable with your extremely sexist comments regarding parenthood.

What, for bathing his children? He was working and doing a job, which he had to abandon and leave elderly people with no hot water all weekend? Very poor planning and time management. Clearly he knew he couldn’t finish it, but wanted the job so thought if he put some time in, that they would keep him on the job and he gets paid. I’d hand his arse to him, and tell him not to return, and he wouldn’t get paid either.

So you recommended someone new to the business and are shocked that he isn't actually hugely skilled at running it and this has impacted your parents? I think you're laying the blame in the wrong place here.

He couldn't recognise the length of time it would take to do the job, he couldn't keep track of time, he doesn't have contacts he can call in to help out when he needs someone, and he's trying to set up on his own in trade but (it sounds) within pretty rigid hours.

All except the last of those are skills he could and should improve on as he gets more experience. The last is a changing cultural norm that isn't restricted to parents. There have been quite a few threads on MN about younger generations not being prepared to work long hours/be flexible in the way many older people expected to. There seem to be mixed opinions on whether this a good or bad thing, though I think when it comes to trying to set yourself up in trade, those prepared to put the hours in will see bigger returns.

I think it is fine for him to have personal commitments and YABU to be critical of both parents being needed to do bathtime - quite frankly, none of your business how he and his wife manage their children. However he is BU to have not realised he needed more time to do the job and then offered to finish tomorrow or find some other solution to help your parents. Or to suggest to DW they skip bath night tonight and do it tomorrow instead (assuming the nightly bath isn't always part of the routine). Have your DP stay at your house for the weekend if feasible.