Plumber left job half done as had to be home for bedtime

[nextwed14]

So my parents who are in there 80's have been left with no heating or hot water this weekend as the plumber they had had to leave mid job at 530pm as Friday is his day to do "bedtime" - he has left the job half done and can come back on Tuesday (he doesn't work Mondays!) or my parents can find someone else. My dad got quite arsey with him but he said he has to go as his wife will go mad if he isn't home for bathtime as she can't bath both the children on her own. We have been phoning round all evening but we can't find anyone to finish the job - may have someone who can do it tomorrow afternoon.

It seems to be that nowadays mum and dad need to do bedtimes together- why is this? Surely one parent should be able to do it as I did with my kids and my parents did with me. I felt a bit sorry for the plumber as I think he probably did feel guilty but felt obliged to be home in time. Women seem to rely on too much support from their partners these days rather than just getting on with it.

Thoughts? I know I will probably be shot down in flames as mumsnet is very pro dads being very hands on but parents seem less competent in their jobs nowadays because they have so much pressure to be this hands on parent to help their other half.

We have no idea if it is a new born and toddler. Two children with SEN either way the fact you think it's okay to shame a woman who has what appears as equality in parenting, speaks volumes.

You see sharing the load as being deaming to a woman. I would suggest you go unpick that.

So you want him to stay after his hours and let her wrangle two children.

Errr... yes? If we had something urgent on at work there would be no way I'd be walzing out the door at 5pm, I've stayed on till 9/10 sometimes to get a crucial piece of work finished.
I say crucial, but actually far less crucial than leaving a very elderly couple with no heating or hot water.

If his home life is that consuming then perhaps being self-employed is not for him. A nice job with the council where he can clock off at set hours would be mor esuitable.

Sorry my dead mother is an inconvenience.

He left two elderly people without hot water for three or four days. Yanbu. Don't care the reason but this is very unprofessional. Not a plumber to ever hire again.

Say that again slowly out loud and think about that.

Then when you actually hear it realise he should be doing half anything less is completely unacceptable.

What's actually gone wrong @nextwed14 ?
Is it something he could have fixed by a reasonable time today or does it need parts and a large amount of labour?

It sounds unfortunate, but presumably it's wasn't just another 10mins and he'd be done, some jobs take ages! How long should he have stayed? What was the job/issue?

Presumably if it's taken out the heating and hot water it's a boiler repair/replacement? Not the kind of thing you can rush/bodge really.

Absolutely I'd be frustrated if it was my house. But he's made a commitment to be home at a set time and he wanted to honour that. I think thats fair enough. Definitely frustrating for the home owner but realistically it's not the end of the world there are options with electric fan heater/blankets.

Seriously tell his aunt, are we now doing that telling in adults?

This thread seems really familiar, I am sure I have read it before. Unless it is the same plumber going around half finishing jobs.

I have noticed a tendency to this nighttime routine together thing.

So, I do think with trades, while normally they have set hours, there is also an expectation that you don't leave people without vital things like a toilet, or water, or electricity. Not unless it's been made clear beforehand that is the arrangement, or it really can't be done.

It's easy enough to think people can just go to a hotel or something but that is a huge problem for many financially, especially for four days!

I would expect a plumber in that situation to stay on unless it was going to be a much longer job, and I'd expect myself or husband to stay on in that kind of circumstance. While I am not a plumber, I do have a job where similar kinds of things happen and I expect to have to stay.

In this particular case, if it is just hot water, I wouldn't necessarily think that was a necessity, though heating might be depending on the time of year. Though leaving the hot water off until Tuesday is a bit much.

I also wonder to what extent the situation is down to his misjudgment - would they have started the job if he had estimated correctly that it would mean the weekend with no heat and hot water? Is that a failure on his part ? If so I he has a responsibility to follow through.

I do find the idea that one parent can't bathe the kids alone silly unless there are other issues at play, which of course is possible. Although "his turn" seems to indicate that's not it. It seems a very inflexible arrangement, surely it's better if it's possible for both parents to do bedtime alone when something else comes up? Rigged arrangements with kids don't usually serve either parent in my experience.

A new business might not be so compatible with that kind of rigidity either. I'd certainly never recommend a plumber who came, started a job, and just took off like that.

My last thought is, I think if this situation was the other way around, MN would be all over him for not being able to do bedtime for two kids alone.

I don't think theres enough to judge fully, if there were several hours remaining on the job to complete the repair would it still have been unreasonable for him to go home? Id prefer a plumber to take the time to do the job properly, not bodge it when they discover a complication.

As a plumber I imagine everytime a job can't be completed within the single day a household is left without heating or water it's just an occupational reality.

Did he cut off the heating and water or is that why he was called?

Friday is his day to do "bedtime."

He was expected home to do bedtime as Friday is his day.

So maybe his wife had plans? Not sure why everyone (including the OP, bizarrely) is suggesting that she is incapable of parenting alone, when she might not actually be home to parent.

I mean, that's what he made it about.

It could be a lie I suppose. But it's interesting he seemed to think that was a good excuse, true or not. It seems to indicate he thinks it's normal for people to think that way.

I’ve unpicked it thanks, it’s pathetic that one parent cannot put their own children to bed alone. On my work days I’d be pretty annoyed if my husband was calling me to leave work early to ‘wrangle’ the kids into the bath. And yes, one does have SEN but it’s impossible to both be there every night (well, without losing our jobs) so we’ve learned to cope alone as required.

'His turn' would imply he is doing it alone.

That doesn't mean others need help. Stop shaming women who want equality.

Why does someone have to be a martyr? Why isn't it acceptable to divide the parenting and share the load.

Unless someone was dying, he shouldn't have left someone in the lurch like that. The least he could do would be to come back on the weekend and finish. I'd want to leave him a bad review online, assuming he has a place to do so. Failing that, I'd warn others off him. That's just not the way to do business!

Equality doesn't mean everyone has to do the same thing all the time.

She probably ought to have married some minor clerk in the civil service, not a plumber.

It’s difficult to gauge just how bad his actions were.

If the OP’s parents had a problem with their heating and hot water not working properly, had waited most of the day for him to call, and he effectively made it worse by starting in the job, then leaving without finishing, is quite bad.

If they had no heating and hot water before he arrived and he just didn’t have time to finish today, then it’s maybe it’s more understandable.

The plumber I use doesn’t normally work weekends, but in this situation would return the next day.

I don’t think I would want to employ a plumber who works set hours on only 4 days per week, as I wouldn’t want to run the risk of being without heating and hot water for 4 days.

I have a slightly shit boiler/heating system that doesn't work well.

When I started labour early on a Saturday with my daughter (planning a waterbirth at home), DH came in to say he couldn't fill the birthing pool because the boiler was fucked and there was no hot water.
It was January and pigging freezing.

We went ahead and I had a homebirth without the pool. Husband called our plumber around 8 and left a message explaining. Plumber doesn't generally work weekends. He came, around 10am, spent ages tinkering with the boiler. He knows that boiler well and knows its always a ballache and there's never a quick fix and stayed till he got it working.
I didn't see him that day and do you know what? He never invoiced us.

I love my plumber. I will never use anyone else as long as he's in business and will recommend him far and wide. Because although he didn't have to do that, and I certainly wouldn't have thought the worse of him if he didn't come out on a Saturday, that's the kind of thing that builds a business.

Seriously can you try and pretend you understand the meaning of equality.

It's not rocket science. It doesn't mean couples have to do the same thing all the time.

Do you think everyone that works shift work or where one spouse is military and lacks equality in their marriage?