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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Plumber left job half done as had to be home for bedtime

105 replies

nextwed14 · 15/11/2024 21:18

So my parents who are in there 80's have been left with no heating or hot water this weekend as the plumber they had had to leave mid job at 530pm as Friday is his day to do "bedtime" - he has left the job half done and can come back on Tuesday (he doesn't work Mondays!) or my parents can find someone else. My dad got quite arsey with him but he said he has to go as his wife will go mad if he isn't home for bathtime as she can't bath both the children on her own. We have been phoning round all evening but we can't find anyone to finish the job - may have someone who can do it tomorrow afternoon.

It seems to be that nowadays mum and dad need to do bedtimes together- why is this? Surely one parent should be able to do it as I did with my kids and my parents did with me. I felt a bit sorry for the plumber as I think he probably did feel guilty but felt obliged to be home in time. Women seem to rely on too much support from their partners these days rather than just getting on with it.

Thoughts? I know I will probably be shot down in flames as mumsnet is very pro dads being very hands on but parents seem less competent in their jobs nowadays because they have so much pressure to be this hands on parent to help their other half.

OP posts:
Aoibheanni · 16/11/2024 13:08

KeenCat · 16/11/2024 11:18

@nextwed14 if you knew all of this about the plumber (not working past 5:30pm or on weekends) beforehand why on earth did you recommend him to your parents? You said he's lost clients due to his inflexibility so YABU to have assumed he would bend his rules specifically for your parents.

@Aoibheanni I went back to work when he turned one. Thankfully the large organisation I work for understands that whilst I work hard, family comes first. I am in a leadership position, and take the same approach with my own team. My previous organisation was the same, thankfully.

It’s so nice to hear of a supportive workplace - I am pleased for you. (Also I wasn’t making an unwarranted suggestion sorry if it looked that way. I just meant work ended up being good for me when I thought it wouldn’t 😂)

daliesque · 16/11/2024 13:24

titchy · 15/11/2024 21:38

he is my friends nephew and he is just starting out working for himself.

He sounds a bit crap tbh. Can your friend have a word about not leaving your clients totally in the lurch if you want to build a business.

This. I'd refuse to pay and leave a bad review somewhere where everyone will see it.
Leaving elderly,people without hot water and heating in the middle of fucking November is disgusting behaviour. Hopefully he'll buck up his ideas or he will have bigger problems to worry about than a kids bedtime routine.

gannett · 16/11/2024 15:25

Upthecreek4 · 16/11/2024 11:24

But if he didn't have to leave for bathtime it was possible.

We don't know that. He could have needed another 3 hours.

TempestTost · 16/11/2024 20:29

KeenCat · 16/11/2024 09:39

I am perhaps coming at this from a completely different perspective as a mother to a young child but here goes.

There is one evening a week that is my husband's turn to do bedtime. On this evening I go to a social group. I have done for months, it's helped significantly with my PPD. I wouldn't be able to do the bedtime routine on my own on this evening because it would make me late for my social group. Yes we could (and often do) skip bathtime on this night but it doesn't change the fact that I can't do bedtime alone on a Wednesday night because I have other plans.

Was the plumber unprofessional by leaving two 80 year olds without heating and hot water? Absolutely, but I would say this is due to his poor time management and inexperience.

Hopefully this will be a lesson learnt for the plumber but the underlying misogyny on this thread is horrible to read.

Do you not think there are female plumbers?

Some jobs do not lend themselves to always clocking off at an exact time. A friend of mine is a neurosurgeon. She often has to undertake very long, unexpected periods in the OR.

Her husband manages the children while she is doing that.

Somehow I don't see anyone suggesting that would be an example of inequality or misogyny.

Tiredofallthis101 · 17/11/2024 09:46

TBH I think you are trying to draw generalisations here that don't exist. Parents today are useless and screwing up their careers- no, sorry, they are just making different choices. If this guy won't work the hours he needs to to be a successful plumber then he will need to change career, but it is his choice where he puts his priorities. Also it sounds like he is probably a shit plumber given he's cocked the heating up, so he could have been there another 6 hours and not sorted it. Bedtime may wrll not be the issue. Sounds to me like you should never have hired him given what you knew about him. You can't blame anyone else for your poor decisions.

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