If you were absolutely flat broke in this situation, how would you make money?

[stressedoutstudent]

Some context - single mum of 3 teenagers. Qualfied as a nurse a year ago, so on the lowest increment for band 5 pay. i work all night plus extra bank shifts to maximise my income with enhancements. Moving up pay scales/banding is impossible at the minute. The extra shifts means my UC entitlement is 0 most months. I get CB for 2/3 of the children. Eldest has autism and whilst he works, he doesnt earn enough to be contributing anything substantial to the household. Ex gave up working and claims benefits, i get the standard £29 a month deduction from his benefits via CMS, he hasnt seen the children in over a decade so doesnt contribute anything further. I dont drive and theres no public transport running at a time that i can get to work, so i have to pay for taxis which are expensive but i have no other options. Its a 2 hour walk before/after 13 hours shifts and i usually do 4 or 5 in a week, im so exhausted i cant do this walk on top of my very busy active shift. We live in a rented house, which is a reasonable rent for the area, but still expensive. 1 child in school who can walk, 1 child in college who cant walk as its too far so i have to ay transport costs for them. I have some "unnecessary" outgoings, gaming subscriptions and streaming services, however my children are home alone 4 or 5 nights a week so they need something to keep them occupied as i dislike them going out and about whilst im at work, as i work in a very busy A&E department, im not easily contactable and like to know they are safe. I have some small debts im paying off from when i was a student and really struggled to get by.

Every month i run i out of money, its just impossible. I cant work more, i cant see where i can reduce out goings. I cant get a third job (my substantial and bank are two different contracts). I cant afford christmas, which i know isnt the be all and end all. But, when i was a student i promised my children a better future when i was stressed writing assignments doing placements and missing important events. But its not gotten better. Infact im worse off each month now than i was when studying. The recent NHS payrise left me worse off, as it bumped me into the next pension bracket, so the little i got backdated last pay, i now owe in pension arrears from April when the pay rise was back dated to. This amount is more than i received in back pay last month.

Life is just impossible. I cant give my children any standard of living, despite working my arse off to improve my career and do as many shifts a week as i am physically able to do.

What would you do? Genuinely? My only potential plan at the minute is the WFH pip assessor roles, its the same money im on now, but no travel costs. Keep my bank job to pick up an extra weeked shift each week. But its a job role i struggle with morally, and i would lose the patient contact element of my job for the most part. And A&E was my dream job, i love it, and the experience is vital for my future career aspirations.

I would cycle (and I appreciate it’s tough), and put the taxi money towards a car and lessons so that you know there’s an end.

when you drive, your world will open up and life will become so much easier . Short term pain for a huge long term gain.

I’m not an assessor, but I’ve dealt with a few over years, doing advocacy.

Some are absolutely fine. It varies. There are also some very poor nurses. It varies. 🙂

I'm sorry to disagree but you're not being realistic.
We don't know how old the teens are. They could be just 13/14.
The older teen may not be an adult. Are they over 18? They're working on the minimum wage and have autism.

This is NSPCC advice

• Consider how well your children get on. Do they fight when you aren't there? Are they able to resolve a conflict between them peacefully?

• Talk to your older child before leaving them in charge. Ask if they feel comfortable looking after their younger brother or sister alone. You shouldn't leave them in charge if they don't feel comfortable.

• Does one of your children have complex needs? Think carefully about whether your child needs adult supervision, in case something goes wrong and they need support.

I'm concerned not simply over safety but that there appears to be no support or supervision with homework in the evenings unless this happens before the OP goes out to work.

I fully get why the OP has to work with night shifts every single day except weekends seems extreme.

If she could get day time shifts and be at home in the evenings she wouldn't be forking out £300 a month for subs for screen games.

Good lord, I would bring back the stocks for men like him.

If she could get day time shifts and be at home in the evenings she wouldn't be forking out £300 a month for subs for screen games.

I agree that is a lot of subscriptions.

What are the hours of the day time shifts-would it be possible to get public transport there/home if you did those?

Just wanted to say hang on in there. It's really shit at the moment and it's all so unfair when you've worked so hard.

I'm in a very similar position, also newly qualified NHS band 5. Also single parent. Skint ex who pays the absolute bare minimum. When I was training, I told my child "things are tough now and we don't have much money but it will all be worth it when I qualify. Hard work pays off and we'll have a nicer life. Once I've qualified, we can start going on a little holiday each year and I can start saving for a house deposit". Oh how naive I was!

What actually happened is the new landlord put my rent up over £300 per month and my NHS employer didn't complete my payroll forms properly so I was underpaid for 3 months, it took ages to resolve. That put me further into debt on top of the debt I'm accruing each month with the rent increase. Can't move because I don't meet the affordability criteria for properties in the area with cheaper rent than I'm currently paying. I've viewed lots of flats where I do meet the criteria but they don't rent to me because a single income household is not seen as reliable as the double income households I'm competing with. And although I'm entitled to UC, I don't actually receive anything due to the date my work pay day falls is close to my UC assessment period. Again, when I ask to sort this, no one helps.

Long story short, I'm worse off now than I was when I was really struggling as a student. I don't know why I've bothered and what life lesson this gives my child. Each incremental pay rise I get (which is bloody hard to get), will be eaten up by rent increases each year plus the usual council tax, water, electricity increases.

It feels like the world is stacked against us, OP. Keep going, keep trying. That's all we can do.

Will the moped be ok when it's freezing cold, hailstoning, or raining? Not fun after a 12 hour shift. I'm wondering if you're better off getting a small car? I know, more bloody money you don't have but at least you'd be dry. Could your parents stretch to the cost of a car? Plus insurance, plus petrol, plus repairs... it's all so hard.

I wish you the best of luck and hope things get easier for you.

Op has a licence but " doesn't drive"
A few lessons or going out with someone else and she could get a small car
The whole thread is all sorts of suggestions when the Op has the answer already!

Ps £600 of the Ops salary and possibly more is going on taxis and subscriptions, there is something else going on here .

We know that at least two of her children are 16 or over - The op clearly states that her oldest child, a son, is over 18 but not yet 21.

She's then said she has a child at school and one at college and mentioned that one of them is 16.

So if the 16 year old is at college the youngest could be in year 10 and not yet turned 15. But they're not all 13/14.

The op is coming across as a loving mum who wants to do the best for her children and at the moment there doesn't seem to be any reason to raise her working night shifts as a concern.

I agree with 90% of what you say and she's clearly very caring and doing her best , but it would surely be better to swap the night shifts or ditch them to be at home and not be paying £300 a month for subs to keep the children occupied when she's not there. It seems a bit back to front.

I wouldn't be happy to leave 3 children in their teens / one 18, overnight for 5 nights a week, and also be uncontactable.

Presumably, if she's not contactable, they have names and phone nos of neighbours or other adults to call if needed.

The issue is that the eldest child is autistic and depending on how severe, may not be able to judge what help is needed or how to get it . OP knows more about this than we do.

If you bothered to read my next post you would have seen I suggested to switch her bank for higher paid work (eg tutoring) as an interim measure. She could keep her regular shifts which are career focused, and top up with something not career focused. Why do something for 12 hours when you could work 6 hours for more money? She also wouldn't have travel costs.

You offered zero suggestions apart from 'hope you get a pay rise soon'. And 'so sorry this is happening to you ' totally unhelpful

Who would she tutor?
Other student nurses?
She's only been qualified for a year herself.

Those online surveys...? I'm wondering if OP could open an account - or several - and her children could do them in her name? OP is busy, she doesn't need more things to do.

If I were looking at surveys I'd be co-opting family members to do them. They're absolute nonsense anyway and I have no problem with the companies paying for that nonsense to be completed by other people.

OP, if you can get your parents to loan you the money for an electric bike that's great but please think about where you will store it. There have been some issues with e-bike fire safety.

Well quite!
Plus there a whole preregistration team to support students.
Do people really think student nurses should have to pay for or even have the money ?
This thread is getting more bonkers by the minute.
Op needs to get a small car and cut down the ludicrous subscriptions
It's basic adulting

For those concerned. My kids are 19, about to be 17 and about to be 16.

The 19 year old is autistic, as i said he struggles with anxiety, reading comprehension and communicating. He struggles these days with understanding things like setting up a direct debit for his phone bill and setting up a savings account. He also went to mainstream highschool, passed all his exams, and has a very active social life with an outdoor hobby and a girl friend of 3 years.

My nearly 17 year old is in college, and my nearly 16 year old is in the final year of secondry school.

I have every single friday night off. We, though generally not the eldest these days, have family time every friday night, frozen pizzas and movies, or a tv show, sometimes games though they not that keen on them any more. I usually work a saturday night. But saturday day we will do food shopping and set the meal plans for the week, they get a lot of say over what we are having, but often they will also see their friends and not want to actually come shopping these days. Sunday i will sleep until 1 ish, then we will go visit my parents. my youngest and i sometimes go for a walk through the woods to starbucks, but we generally spend that time together.

Nights means im home to make sure they get to schol and college on time, im home every night for dinner as i leave at 18.30. I have my first break between 21.00-22.00 and speak to them every time. My daughter has an hour on her own with me 3 nights a week when my middle son is in college and oldest at work. I take most of my annual leave school holiday time to ensure i spend it with them.

The concern without knowing the full circumstance, i can see it. However my children are safe, loved, happy, understand i need to work, sensible, have plenty of time to connect emotionally, and we spend alot of time together. They are also incredible closed, especially my younger 2, they share the same hobbies, they share a job for goodness sake, they confide in each other, they have the same group of friends and hang out together by choice often too on a saturday. The concern is misplaced in our situation.

Day shift - I would leave whilst they were doing their papers so not see them before school, and get home at 20.30, which is far to late for them to be having dinner so they would have to feed them selves, and honestly days are even more exhausting, on a day shift i usually dont even bother eating i come home shower and sleep, so dont see them at all.

The subscriptions are ludicrus. I have netflix - my daughter is stranger thing obsessed and rewatches it regularly. Prime you get with, well prime, which i use for subscriptions of household item such as loo roll and washing tablets as its cheaper and takes some of the mental load off me having to remember to buy them. Now TV i only have the basic package. We dont even have a tv aerial so subscriptions and streaming services are somewhat essential. Then i have the psn (£7 a month) and gamer pass (£10 a month) for my children to access games, chat to their friends, and its something they enjoy doing together. £17 a month is not ludicrus.

Where are i dont get where people have got the figure if 300 i know netflix is 17 prime is about 9 a month and now TV is prob 10 a month so no where near 300 so this basic adulting comments are just wrong

pipe down

Surely the eldest that works, should be contributing to the household "pot". What do they do wiring their money if they are not contributing to the household budget ?

Look at Olio fro free food & other free stuff

Ask someone at work to share transport

Some banks are offering £150+ free money to move banks
Look on Money Saving Expert website.

Given the ages of the children and inability to move I think you may have to take a temporary strategic view aimed at stabilising your finances right now and setting you on the road to your next step towards your dream job. As it is the travel which is killing your finances and is really the only negotiable element that’s where you focus your efforts. There’s really only one option to cut your travel costs and that’s the PIP assessor role. I know you have ethical concerns and feels like not what you trained for, but in the short term it will cut your costs dramatically and give you more time and flexibility with the children while they are still at home. Once they are out of school and college your financial picture becomes very different. If you can keep doing some bank shifts and set aside some of the travel money you will save towards purchasing a car, by the time the children are less dependent on you you will be in a better position to resume the job you really want. The PIP role is a tactical detour not the final destination.

I agree. But they have done it for years. My middle child 3 years, my youngest 2 years. They both put their names down very early and pick up extras through choice. They both have bikes, that are kept up with safety checks, have lights, high vis clothing, and helmets, they do them in the local area which is very safe. I have trackers for them both on my phone, it notifies me when they leave and when they return home. They enjoy them. They get home usually for 07.30, Have their breakfast and get changed. My daughter doesnt need to leave for school until 8.40 as we can see her school from home so i see her before she leaves. My son in college starts at 9.30 most days he is in, so leaves after i get home too. I dont think doing papers is a "normal" these days. But i did one for years as a teenager and left even earlier than 6, but back in the 90's it was more normalised.

Don't do the PIP assessor role it nearly broke my friend - she's back in clinical practice now but she deskilled and hated hated hated the admin and petty bureaucracy of the role. You can progress to band 6 soon and also wanted to say you are a lovely mum and your kids sound great .

The NHS have a discount scheme for bikes where you choose your bike and they deduct a small amount from your salary every month.

Join a nursing agency, pick some bank shifts up, it will help working in different areas in nursing for your development.

Start selling on Vimted, start doing TikTok lives or Tik Tok shop.

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This. I have never in my life used taxis to commute to work. There must be a way not to do this.

Can you move jobs? If you r a band 5 nurse you will be in demand everywhere, and you could probably get a band 6 easily somewhere closer, but if not there WILL be band 5 nursing roles vacant everywhere.

Can you move house? Are you renting privately? Own? Or council renting?

If you don't want to cycle, you could get an electric bike on the cycle to work scheme - they basically power you up the hill without you needing to do anything! You could maybe also pick one up s cond hand for cheap. If I lived near you, you could borrow mine for free (but I don't live anywhere hilly so I doubt u love near me!) - maybe put out a post on local Facebook asking if you can borrow someone's electric bike to help you out??

Honestly taxis to work is completely where the money is going and I've never heard of people doing this. Don't do it. Move or cycle.

Ive been looking at mopeds. I have seen some that are around £1500-1700 new. Insurance is around £35 a month. Im not sure on tax and fuel, but im guessing thats still alot less than the taxis. There are routes i can take to work that avoid the "fast" A roads but still roads that would be gritted in winter. I have a gated area at my home i can lock the gate on. And the area motorbikes and mopeds get parked in at work have CCTV. I feel my parents would loan me the £1500, i may have to put a littlle bit towards it, which would be doable if i got it pay day as i wouldnt have the coming months taxis to fund. Helmet would need to be new of course, but i will look for second hand protective clothing.

After some research its definitely the most feesible option, that allows me to keep my job.

Paper round is perfectly 'normal'.

My son's 13th birthday is next week and he's been waiting three years for this day when he will finally be allowed to put his name down for a paper round at our local newsagent!