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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you were absolutely flat broke in this situation, how would you make money?

559 replies

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:32

Some context - single mum of 3 teenagers. Qualfied as a nurse a year ago, so on the lowest increment for band 5 pay. i work all night plus extra bank shifts to maximise my income with enhancements. Moving up pay scales/banding is impossible at the minute. The extra shifts means my UC entitlement is 0 most months. I get CB for 2/3 of the children. Eldest has autism and whilst he works, he doesnt earn enough to be contributing anything substantial to the household. Ex gave up working and claims benefits, i get the standard £29 a month deduction from his benefits via CMS, he hasnt seen the children in over a decade so doesnt contribute anything further. I dont drive and theres no public transport running at a time that i can get to work, so i have to pay for taxis which are expensive but i have no other options. Its a 2 hour walk before/after 13 hours shifts and i usually do 4 or 5 in a week, im so exhausted i cant do this walk on top of my very busy active shift. We live in a rented house, which is a reasonable rent for the area, but still expensive. 1 child in school who can walk, 1 child in college who cant walk as its too far so i have to ay transport costs for them. I have some "unnecessary" outgoings, gaming subscriptions and streaming services, however my children are home alone 4 or 5 nights a week so they need something to keep them occupied as i dislike them going out and about whilst im at work, as i work in a very busy A&E department, im not easily contactable and like to know they are safe. I have some small debts im paying off from when i was a student and really struggled to get by.

Every month i run i out of money, its just impossible. I cant work more, i cant see where i can reduce out goings. I cant get a third job (my substantial and bank are two different contracts). I cant afford christmas, which i know isnt the be all and end all. But, when i was a student i promised my children a better future when i was stressed writing assignments doing placements and missing important events. But its not gotten better. Infact im worse off each month now than i was when studying. The recent NHS payrise left me worse off, as it bumped me into the next pension bracket, so the little i got backdated last pay, i now owe in pension arrears from April when the pay rise was back dated to. This amount is more than i received in back pay last month.

Life is just impossible. I cant give my children any standard of living, despite working my arse off to improve my career and do as many shifts a week as i am physically able to do.

What would you do? Genuinely? My only potential plan at the minute is the WFH pip assessor roles, its the same money im on now, but no travel costs. Keep my bank job to pick up an extra weeked shift each week. But its a job role i struggle with morally, and i would lose the patient contact element of my job for the most part. And A&E was my dream job, i love it, and the experience is vital for my future career aspirations.

OP posts:
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May09Bump · 15/11/2024 17:57

Also health Insurance companies recruit nurses to help with claim / complaint handling.

InfoSecInTheCity · 15/11/2024 17:57

How much do the taxis cost and does it still work out financially better to work nights and pay taxis than it would to work days and get a bus?

Skykidsspy · 15/11/2024 17:59

Are any lift shares available? A petrol donation might help another nurse and be less than taxis.

private hospitals pay more but not a&e

temporarily opt of pension scheme? I would really avoid this if you can though

Milesandmilesandmiles · 15/11/2024 17:59

For transport, are you getting taxis both ways? If it’s downhill on the way I would buy a cheap folding bike, and cycle to work. Fold it when I arrive and then put it in the boot of your taxi for the way home. This would halve your taxi costs. Or, explain to your manager and ask if they know of anyone driving your way even once a week who might give you the odd lift?

So sorry. It sounds tough.

Devilsmommy · 15/11/2024 17:59

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:41

My journey home is all up hill, again after 13 hours and an average of 25k steps, i just wouldnt have the energy to cycle home 4/5 mornings a week, especially over winter. It would still take me an hour+ (ive not rode a bike in 30+ years)

That's why you get an electric bike. Yes it'll cost upfront but would save a fortune in taxis in the long run

Catandsquirrel · 15/11/2024 17:59

Do you mean drop the main nursing role in favour PIP assessor (except bank shifts)? I wouldn't do that for short term gain. Even if better money now, I'd say better to stay on track with your experience and progression and look for grade sixes when you can.@

Don't worry about Christmas. The kids will be absolutely fine with whatever you can manage.

Any help towards transport for DC? lift share? Bike? Food bank or 2good2 go for cheaper food (co-ops usually do really cheap mixed bags)

RabbitsEatPancakes · 15/11/2024 18:01

I would definitely be cancelling all those subscriptions. We used to entertain ourselves with 4 TV channels. I don't think streaming and gaming stuff is super necessary. They aren't even alone if there's 3 of them. Maybe do 1 subscriptions only at a time- they each get a turn picking for the month?

I'd also try and find something other than taxis. There must be a local person looking for cash on the side? A school mum or someone's teenager who'd give you lifts at a cheaper rate? Same with the teenagers college transport.
Eg we have know a guy we use as an airport lift- he charges about 50% what the local minicab would.

PrincessofWells · 15/11/2024 18:02

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:41

My journey home is all up hill, again after 13 hours and an average of 25k steps, i just wouldnt have the energy to cycle home 4/5 mornings a week, especially over winter. It would still take me an hour+ (ive not rode a bike in 30+ years)

Can you buy an electric bike? They're amazing - around £800 - hill, what hill?

Babysharkdododododooo · 15/11/2024 18:03

Could you work as a locum? The pay is considerably more

NearlyChristmas2024 · 15/11/2024 18:03

I mean this as gently as possible but maybe now isn’t the right time in your life to be a full time nurse. If I were you, I would keep the bank contract and do around 4-5 shifts a month to keep up your clinical skills. I would then get a WFH job in somewhere like the Civil Service so no travel costs. Once the kids are older, you could go back to full time nursing, hopefully at a higher band.

MessyNeate · 15/11/2024 18:04

Can you join a nursing agency? The money is far far better (I get paid about £30 an hour on my agency) I'm limited because I'm specialised in nicu though)

Can you drive but just don't have a car?

MessyNeate · 15/11/2024 18:05

blitzen · 15/11/2024 17:56

OP, that sounds really hard. When will you be eligible to apply for the next band up at work?

It's automatic the pay increase. First one is after 2 years then yearly until you reach the top of band five

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 18:05

DoreenonTill8 · 15/11/2024 17:50

How old is college teen? What are they studying ? Any way they can get a parttime job?
Oldest who is working, is he on any benefits ?

both my younger teens have paper rounds and pick up extra rounds when they need to which earns them enough for cinema visits and fortnite skins etc.

Moving isnt really possible as the upfront costs, and my rent is decent for the area, we live in which is close to my youngests school. We already dont have enough bedrooms, one child has the dining room as a bedroom as they didnt want to share a bedroom. It works and everyone has their own space.

The college aged child does cycle some days, but when the weather is bad he gets the bus.

My eldest isnt entitled to anything, he earns enough to contribute a small amount, and pays for his own expenses, travel, work lunches, phone bill etc.

Reducing my hours to my contracted hours only wouldnt solve it, as UC only deducts 55%, the amount saved in taxis by doing fewer shifts and UC cobined, is less that the income from teh extra shifts once ive paid for the taxis if that makes sense? Im better off doing the extras and not getting any UC than i am doing fewer shifts with UC top up. Im struggling to explain why though

OP posts:
SparkyBlue · 15/11/2024 18:06

A cousin of mine is a nurse and works extra hours in clinic doing fillers and Botox

RobertaFirmino · 15/11/2024 18:07

Rumforme · 15/11/2024 17:55

Can you qualify in administering eg Botox and do that on the side? Or would you get paid more for a nursing job in the private sector instead of NHS?

Botox etc. is a great idea. A nurse is far more trustworthy than 'Chelseigh's Beauty Room's' down the precinct. Tattoo removal is likely to explode too and again, a nurse comes across as the best option.

Whatever you decide, I hope things improve and soon.

chickennoodless · 15/11/2024 18:07

I can’t believe we all live in a country who does this to their nurses, no ideas for you sorry. Just wanted to say you deserve better.

Redwinedaze · 15/11/2024 18:07

Custody nurse? You’d finish on time, usually 4 on and 4 off and could still do bank for NHS if needed.

Overthebow · 15/11/2024 18:07

How much do you earn in total op and what are your outgoings I’d have thought your salary wouldn’t be that bad given you’re a full time nurse and picking up extra night shifts?

Can your DC in college get a weekend or evening job? And your older DS, if he can’t work more than part time because of autism then he should be claiming benefits or PIP, otherwise see what full time job he would be suited to. Your Dc should be earning money and paying for the gaming and streaming subscriptions really as you’re struggling.

MessyNeate · 15/11/2024 18:09

Overthebow · 15/11/2024 18:07

How much do you earn in total op and what are your outgoings I’d have thought your salary wouldn’t be that bad given you’re a full time nurse and picking up extra night shifts?

Can your DC in college get a weekend or evening job? And your older DS, if he can’t work more than part time because of autism then he should be claiming benefits or PIP, otherwise see what full time job he would be suited to. Your Dc should be earning money and paying for the gaming and streaming subscriptions really as you’re struggling.

I'm top of band five and work nights to bump up my pay and take home roughly 1800-1900 a month, when I was a single mum it was a bloody hard struggle. I always ran out of money a week or two before payday

notanothernamechange24 · 15/11/2024 18:09

Where precisely is the OP supposed to find £800 for an electric bike from?? 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄

Some really stupid suggestions on here

And why should she have to cancel the subscriptions which are keeping her kids occupied and safely at home so she can work?

What would be far better is charging their useless father for abandoning his responsibilities to his kids.

I would look into lift shares with someone if you can OP. Even if it's just for the odd shift it would save a little each time.
Have you checked that everything you are paying out for is the best deal you can get? Look at changing your energy supplier etc. I'd also contact the school and see if there is any help available transport wise for your teen. Or look into getting them a cheap bike if that's an option?

AgathaMystery · 15/11/2024 18:10

OP I really feel for you.

right now you are in the trenches.

Cancel the streaming subscriptions and just keep one. It will be okay. Opt out of your pension scheme for 12mth only. Access the food bank and also the benevolent fund - it’s what they are there for. They really are so helpful. If you can - access the fund to pay for intensive driving lessons. I know it’s hard (I was in my forties when I finally did it) but it will save money long term. I know you can’t afford a car either.

do the sums and if you are better off working less and claiming UC - Do it. It’s not forever. Also see what you can claim for the eldest. Please.

re other posters:

-Aesthetic courses cost a fortune and so do prescriber courses. You now need to be sponsored by a hospital too to make sure you’re not just doing the course to do aesthetics. The market is quite flooded and repeat custom swings by only every 9-12-18 mth
-Nurses do bank, not locum and we don’t get paid like locums do. Nowhere near. It’s just a quid or 2 Mose than our substantive
-cycling like that after a night shift. Jesus it would be almost impossible. Truly.
-you can’t just walk into a civil service WFH job.

yumyum33 · 15/11/2024 18:10

Your post really touched me and I just want to say well done on doing what you are doing to keep you and the family afloat. If I were you I'd think seriously about the PIP wfh job. No travel and a chance to regain a bit of equilibrium without all the rushing about. A friend of mine did it, she was Band 6, and just as with you she felt ethically conflicted. She lasted two years and then went to become a Marie Curie nurse. You never know what other opportunities might arise whilst you do the PIP assessments. My friend also said she used to see patients arriving from her office window; they would appear to be walking fine when getting out of the car and walking to the building entrance. Once inside her office they would begin limping or holding the body part that they were claiming was why they couldn't work.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 15/11/2024 18:10

Just wanted to say thank you for the amazing work you do ❤️

BuzzieLittleBee · 15/11/2024 18:11

notanothernamechange24 · 15/11/2024 18:09

Where precisely is the OP supposed to find £800 for an electric bike from?? 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄

Some really stupid suggestions on here

And why should she have to cancel the subscriptions which are keeping her kids occupied and safely at home so she can work?

What would be far better is charging their useless father for abandoning his responsibilities to his kids.

I would look into lift shares with someone if you can OP. Even if it's just for the odd shift it would save a little each time.
Have you checked that everything you are paying out for is the best deal you can get? Look at changing your energy supplier etc. I'd also contact the school and see if there is any help available transport wise for your teen. Or look into getting them a cheap bike if that's an option?

On the cycle to work scheme. Money comes from your salary at source, so pre-tax. The monthly payment would probably be less than taxis.

HaveToSaySomethingHere · 15/11/2024 18:12

Rent your bedroom on Airbnb? One or two nights at a time with breaks in between? Rent your driveway? Relief career?