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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you were absolutely flat broke in this situation, how would you make money?

559 replies

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:32

Some context - single mum of 3 teenagers. Qualfied as a nurse a year ago, so on the lowest increment for band 5 pay. i work all night plus extra bank shifts to maximise my income with enhancements. Moving up pay scales/banding is impossible at the minute. The extra shifts means my UC entitlement is 0 most months. I get CB for 2/3 of the children. Eldest has autism and whilst he works, he doesnt earn enough to be contributing anything substantial to the household. Ex gave up working and claims benefits, i get the standard £29 a month deduction from his benefits via CMS, he hasnt seen the children in over a decade so doesnt contribute anything further. I dont drive and theres no public transport running at a time that i can get to work, so i have to pay for taxis which are expensive but i have no other options. Its a 2 hour walk before/after 13 hours shifts and i usually do 4 or 5 in a week, im so exhausted i cant do this walk on top of my very busy active shift. We live in a rented house, which is a reasonable rent for the area, but still expensive. 1 child in school who can walk, 1 child in college who cant walk as its too far so i have to ay transport costs for them. I have some "unnecessary" outgoings, gaming subscriptions and streaming services, however my children are home alone 4 or 5 nights a week so they need something to keep them occupied as i dislike them going out and about whilst im at work, as i work in a very busy A&E department, im not easily contactable and like to know they are safe. I have some small debts im paying off from when i was a student and really struggled to get by.

Every month i run i out of money, its just impossible. I cant work more, i cant see where i can reduce out goings. I cant get a third job (my substantial and bank are two different contracts). I cant afford christmas, which i know isnt the be all and end all. But, when i was a student i promised my children a better future when i was stressed writing assignments doing placements and missing important events. But its not gotten better. Infact im worse off each month now than i was when studying. The recent NHS payrise left me worse off, as it bumped me into the next pension bracket, so the little i got backdated last pay, i now owe in pension arrears from April when the pay rise was back dated to. This amount is more than i received in back pay last month.

Life is just impossible. I cant give my children any standard of living, despite working my arse off to improve my career and do as many shifts a week as i am physically able to do.

What would you do? Genuinely? My only potential plan at the minute is the WFH pip assessor roles, its the same money im on now, but no travel costs. Keep my bank job to pick up an extra weeked shift each week. But its a job role i struggle with morally, and i would lose the patient contact element of my job for the most part. And A&E was my dream job, i love it, and the experience is vital for my future career aspirations.

OP posts:
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RunnersHipOuch · 16/11/2024 13:57

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 13:54

Ive been looking at mopeds. I have seen some that are around £1500-1700 new. Insurance is around £35 a month. Im not sure on tax and fuel, but im guessing thats still alot less than the taxis. There are routes i can take to work that avoid the "fast" A roads but still roads that would be gritted in winter. I have a gated area at my home i can lock the gate on. And the area motorbikes and mopeds get parked in at work have CCTV. I feel my parents would loan me the £1500, i may have to put a littlle bit towards it, which would be doable if i got it pay day as i wouldnt have the coming months taxis to fund. Helmet would need to be new of course, but i will look for second hand protective clothing.

After some research its definitely the most feesible option, that allows me to keep my job.

Good idea! No it an electric push bike would be cheaper to buy, you could buy it on the cycle to work scheme (I did this when I worked for the NHS) and there is no insurance, tax or petrol to consider. Very economical and honestly, it is really fun! Absolutely NO fitness required and much easier to store than a moped!

L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 13:57

£300 for subscriptions per month us a huge amount !
Can you cut this down ?

RunnersHipOuch · 16/11/2024 13:58

L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 13:57

£300 for subscriptions per month us a huge amount !
Can you cut this down ?

Blimey I'd not seen that! Cut that out now!! £40 MAX is fine! Probably don't even need that!!

hazelnutvanillalatte · 16/11/2024 13:59

KnickerlessFlannel · 15/11/2024 17:39

I'd look at anything you can earn from home such as surveys etc online - it's not loads but if I relly focus I can earn veteran £50 and £100 extra a month.

I also make sure that I'm always making my money go as far as possible - I use blue light card for all purchases possible, cashback credit card, and quidco cashback sites for all purchases such as insurance etc. Again, it won't make loads but I put all petrol and food shops on my cash back card and get another £100ish per year from that, another £500ish on cashback sites, and that's my christmas money pretty much sorted.

What are you signed up for? I tried Norstpanel but whenever a survey came up I was told I didn't qualify so it was a waste of time

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 13:59

L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 13:57

£300 for subscriptions per month us a huge amount !
Can you cut this down ?

The £300 is completely plucked from thin air by a poster. Its not even close to £300.

OP posts:
RunnersHipOuch · 16/11/2024 14:00

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 13:59

The £300 is completely plucked from thin air by a poster. Its not even close to £300.

Ah ok!!

RunnersHipOuch · 16/11/2024 14:01

OP, which county r u in?? I really meant it when I said I'd lend you might electric bike!??

L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 14:03

If you paid more into your work pension

Would you be eligible for more money from universal credit ?

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 14:07

RunnersHipOuch · 16/11/2024 14:01

OP, which county r u in?? I really meant it when I said I'd lend you might electric bike!??

I understand the benefits of getting an e-bike over a moped, but i really feel its not for me. After 25k steps, my feet hurt, i have plantar fasciitis and the thought of pedalling, even with minimal effort required, its just not going to happen lol. A moped i can get my feet still and flat and is much more realistic for me i think. But thank you for your kind offer.

OP posts:
stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 14:11

L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 14:03

If you paid more into your work pension

Would you be eligible for more money from universal credit ?

They would just offset each i imagine, im not even sure paying more into NHS is possible, as its not contributions based, its a scheme. Its based on yearly earnings whilst employed, not amount paid in over time.

OP posts:
L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 14:13

If you buy a car or moped over 40 years old, you do not need to pay tax or MOT. Due to being classed as historic, classic vehicle.
However you would need to pay insurance.
You would also need to maintain it.

Heretobenosy · 16/11/2024 14:16

RunnersHipOuch · 16/11/2024 13:58

Blimey I'd not seen that! Cut that out now!! £40 MAX is fine! Probably don't even need that!!

She’s already clarified someone made that up

MissUltraViolet · 16/11/2024 14:17

Apologies if this has already been mentioned.

You said you're working so much (extra) that your UC entitlement is now £0, have you sat down and worked out whether that is actually worth it? If you dropped the extra shifts how much UC would you get in a month + what you'd save in taxi fares?

Could your son possibly qualify for PIP? It might be worth a try if it means he may be able to contribute more to the household. It won't hurt applying.

Have you checked local community options to help with food costs? Not just food banks, a lot of areas now do community pantry type things. Where you pay say £5 per month to be a member and it entitles you to get a bag of shopping per week.

Defo go for your PIP role option, it sounds like it will make things slightly easier and less stressful for you day to day.

MatildaTheCat · 16/11/2024 14:19

Sorry you are in such a tough spot. It does sound as if it could improve within a few years if you progress your career and the DC can earn more.

I strongly advise you to look into a PIP claim for your son and get help with the form from someone knowledgeable. His need for support with everyday tasks is definitely something they take into account. You probably do more for him than you realise.

Whilst you probably loathe the idea is there anyone in your family who could give you a bit of regular help? Your parents/ siblings might not get how broke you are because you are so obviously massively competent. It may look as if all is well.

From one former nurse to you, thank you and I really wish you well with your career and future. Your kids are REALLY lucky.

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/benefits-and-money/benefits/types-of-benefit/personal-independence-payment www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/benefits-and-money/benefits/types-of-benefit/personal-independence-payment]]]]

L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 14:23

This is probably a last resort, but I have known people who have done this

Get a bunk bed for your bedroom

When you are not there, someone else sleeps there.
" hot bed" type of arrangement.

Probably not good idea for you if you have children in the house.

Is there another room in the property that you can rent out ?

Or a driveway or a loft ?

SchoolDilemma17 · 16/11/2024 14:24

L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 14:23

This is probably a last resort, but I have known people who have done this

Get a bunk bed for your bedroom

When you are not there, someone else sleeps there.
" hot bed" type of arrangement.

Probably not good idea for you if you have children in the house.

Is there another room in the property that you can rent out ?

Or a driveway or a loft ?

Have a stranger sleep in a house with 3 teenagers is probably the worst idea on this thread. Closely followed by OF

RosieLeaLovesTea · 16/11/2024 14:25

I’m to cut the taxi costs I would advertise for a lift share at the hospital and pay towards petrol.

L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 14:29

I have offered lots of suggestions, what have you suggested ?

The switching banks is relatively easy for free money & I have done this several times

The child who is working could switch banks too.

For food look at

Fareshare

Too Good To Go

Supermarket food boxes

L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 14:30

Hot bed might not help this person

But it might help someone else !

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 14:38

I dont think switching banks is a good idea at the minute as one of my debts is the associated overdraft im gradually reducing. Onces thats cleared then potentially something i can do for extra cash.

OP posts:
Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 16/11/2024 14:39

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:41

My journey home is all up hill, again after 13 hours and an average of 25k steps, i just wouldnt have the energy to cycle home 4/5 mornings a week, especially over winter. It would still take me an hour+ (ive not rode a bike in 30+ years)

Are you in an area with Uber? It's often quite a bit cheaper than a normal taxi.

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 14:40

Theres also no spare room, and wont be for many years. My middle child is planning to stay at home for uni, my eldest i dont think will be moving out for a while either. And which ever does leave first, the other will get the third bedroom and i will hopefully get my dining room back eventually

OP posts:
stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 14:42

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 16/11/2024 14:39

Are you in an area with Uber? It's often quite a bit cheaper than a normal taxi.

The taxi company i book with i call up and tell them my upcoming shifts and they prebook them for me. They are always on time, relaible, and the price is fair for the journey. We have uber but its just not as reliable as being able to block pre book all my shifts.

OP posts:
Hairyfairy01 · 16/11/2024 14:46

Well done for graduating and securing your dream job! Working in A&E, as you well know, will really help with your future career prospects - you will have so many transferable skills.
Personally, I would stick at it. Your money will go up, even if you remain as a band 5. Your kids will get older and less finically dependent on you. It's really tough stm, but things will get better.
In the meantime, to give you a little money for Xmas, can you sell anything on Vinted? Can your kids buy and sell clothes on vinted? Doing online surveys can help you gain an Amazon voucher or 2. Can you cut down on food shopping in any way? Bulk cook, less snack in house, use slow cooker etc?
I wouldn't be tempted with the PIP job at this point in your career. Long term you are better off where you are. It might all seem shit atm, but things will get better.