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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you were absolutely flat broke in this situation, how would you make money?

559 replies

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:32

Some context - single mum of 3 teenagers. Qualfied as a nurse a year ago, so on the lowest increment for band 5 pay. i work all night plus extra bank shifts to maximise my income with enhancements. Moving up pay scales/banding is impossible at the minute. The extra shifts means my UC entitlement is 0 most months. I get CB for 2/3 of the children. Eldest has autism and whilst he works, he doesnt earn enough to be contributing anything substantial to the household. Ex gave up working and claims benefits, i get the standard £29 a month deduction from his benefits via CMS, he hasnt seen the children in over a decade so doesnt contribute anything further. I dont drive and theres no public transport running at a time that i can get to work, so i have to pay for taxis which are expensive but i have no other options. Its a 2 hour walk before/after 13 hours shifts and i usually do 4 or 5 in a week, im so exhausted i cant do this walk on top of my very busy active shift. We live in a rented house, which is a reasonable rent for the area, but still expensive. 1 child in school who can walk, 1 child in college who cant walk as its too far so i have to ay transport costs for them. I have some "unnecessary" outgoings, gaming subscriptions and streaming services, however my children are home alone 4 or 5 nights a week so they need something to keep them occupied as i dislike them going out and about whilst im at work, as i work in a very busy A&E department, im not easily contactable and like to know they are safe. I have some small debts im paying off from when i was a student and really struggled to get by.

Every month i run i out of money, its just impossible. I cant work more, i cant see where i can reduce out goings. I cant get a third job (my substantial and bank are two different contracts). I cant afford christmas, which i know isnt the be all and end all. But, when i was a student i promised my children a better future when i was stressed writing assignments doing placements and missing important events. But its not gotten better. Infact im worse off each month now than i was when studying. The recent NHS payrise left me worse off, as it bumped me into the next pension bracket, so the little i got backdated last pay, i now owe in pension arrears from April when the pay rise was back dated to. This amount is more than i received in back pay last month.

Life is just impossible. I cant give my children any standard of living, despite working my arse off to improve my career and do as many shifts a week as i am physically able to do.

What would you do? Genuinely? My only potential plan at the minute is the WFH pip assessor roles, its the same money im on now, but no travel costs. Keep my bank job to pick up an extra weeked shift each week. But its a job role i struggle with morally, and i would lose the patient contact element of my job for the most part. And A&E was my dream job, i love it, and the experience is vital for my future career aspirations.

OP posts:
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PrincessofWells · 15/11/2024 17:38

Buy a bike for the travel. There are quite a few brand new mountain bikes from around £85. Or second hand.

KnickerlessFlannel · 15/11/2024 17:39

I'd look at anything you can earn from home such as surveys etc online - it's not loads but if I relly focus I can earn veteran £50 and £100 extra a month.

I also make sure that I'm always making my money go as far as possible - I use blue light card for all purchases possible, cashback credit card, and quidco cashback sites for all purchases such as insurance etc. Again, it won't make loads but I put all petrol and food shops on my cash back card and get another £100ish per year from that, another £500ish on cashback sites, and that's my christmas money pretty much sorted.

TheFlyingHorse · 15/11/2024 17:39

Sorry to hear you're in such a tough situation OP. How far are you from work and what's the route like? Would it be feasible for you to cycle to save money on the taxi fares? I've just bought a bike on the cycle to work scheme which I'm using to get to work. At this time of year it's dark but I've got decent lights and it doesn't bother me but I realise it's not for everyone.

KnickerlessFlannel · 15/11/2024 17:40

In regards to transport, is there a group email to see if anyone could share taxis or offer a lift even 1 or 2 shifts per week?

Agix · 15/11/2024 17:41

PIP assessor, and Id be a super nice one who listened. Need more of those.

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:41

PrincessofWells · 15/11/2024 17:38

Buy a bike for the travel. There are quite a few brand new mountain bikes from around £85. Or second hand.

My journey home is all up hill, again after 13 hours and an average of 25k steps, i just wouldnt have the energy to cycle home 4/5 mornings a week, especially over winter. It would still take me an hour+ (ive not rode a bike in 30+ years)

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 15/11/2024 17:42

Can the child who goes to college cycle? That might reduce some transport costs.

A two hour walk is about six miles? If so then yes you could cycle that in 30 mins or so. Not great and at the end of a busy shift but would save you taxi money.

An electric bike might also be a solution?

ThianWinter · 15/11/2024 17:43

Don't even think about the PIP assessor role, the training is rigorous and there's no guarantee of a job afterwards. Plus you need to hang up your morals and principles at the door. 'Be the nasty nurse' as my friend says.

Move to a role less intensive than A&E.

Wellingtonspie · 15/11/2024 17:43

I’d take the pip role. Sorry but when you need money the morals of the job are not a thing I’d worry about as long as it’s a legal job.

Plus look at it this way you are a nurse. You balance it out morally. Someone who actually knows there stuff as well doing the assessment.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 15/11/2024 17:43

Use food banks or foodshare schemes. There's no shame in it, and the people who run them are delighted to have them used.
Any DC over say 16 might earn some pocket money babysitting in the evenings.

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:43

Agix · 15/11/2024 17:41

PIP assessor, and Id be a super nice one who listened. Need more of those.

this is the best pan at the minute, but from what i can tell, its not the assessor thats making any decisions, even if they are "nice and understanding, when it goes to the decision maker, what they say isnt necessarily interpreted correctly.

OP posts:
BuzzieLittleBee · 15/11/2024 17:44

If you're open to cycling, the NHS must have a bike-to-work scheme? YOu could get an ebike on that which would come out of your salary pre-tax (and over maybe 12 months). It's way, way easier than normal cycling. I'm guessing a 2hr walk is probably 6 miles, which you'd cover easily in half an hour on an ebike.

Anotherworrier · 15/11/2024 17:44

You should be getting some UC in an income that low. Are you not even receiving anything for the housing element?

Octavia64 · 15/11/2024 17:45

If the eldest has autism would he be eligible for PIP?

BackinBlack24 · 15/11/2024 17:47

Etsy is great you can create digital downloads using canva it will take time to take off I do nothing with mine just listed 30 - 40 items that's I know will sell , did my research on what's popular I doesn't make much as I don't put any work into right now maybe £100 a month but for something I literally don't have to do anything with after I set it all up I'm ok with it . There's also the option to do drop shipping using printful or similar which would earn more money but you would have to put more time into it as customers would be contacting you or if a parcel goes missing etc . But worth looking into its very easy

Dishwashersaurous · 15/11/2024 17:47

Can you move to somewhere cheaper? Kids share a room?

TheFunHare · 15/11/2024 17:47

That's so rough. I feel for you. The wage gap at the moment is horrific and working those hours in a public service role should mean you can at least support your family. It's not a very practical suggestion but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your teenagers will be more self sufficient soon and you will progress at work. Moving up a pay band would give you an extra £400 a month which would make all the difference. Even moving up an increment would help and it will happen. Can you look for something on a higher increment that is closer to home. You sound very capable which must shine through as a nurse.

SillySeal · 15/11/2024 17:48

Does your dc that goes to college not qualify for a grant towards transport? Many colleges offer financial help for bus passes etc if your in need.

GandTtwice · 15/11/2024 17:49

Can your college child get help with transport costs? Colleges often have discretionary grants even if the council doesn't think you're eligible due to distance

DoreenonTill8 · 15/11/2024 17:50

How old is college teen? What are they studying ? Any way they can get a parttime job?
Oldest who is working, is he on any benefits ?

Rumforme · 15/11/2024 17:55

Can you qualify in administering eg Botox and do that on the side? Or would you get paid more for a nursing job in the private sector instead of NHS?

Myeyesrollwaytomuch · 15/11/2024 17:55

Can’t you just reduce your hours so you get more UC, your rent will be paid? I know you said you wanted a better future for your kids but seems like all
your spare cash is going on Ubers. You could just do one shift a week with a cab and still
get the same amount of money along with UC x

Skykidsspy · 15/11/2024 17:55

The RCN Foundation
The RCN Foundation is an independent charity supporting nurses in times of need. Grants, bursaries and scholarships are available to Nurses, Midwives, Health Care Assistance and Nursing Students. The Foundation is independent of the RCN and you don’t need to be an RCN member to access funding and services from us.
Visit the RCN Foundation website.

apply for help? Absolutely use food banks if you need.

Home | RCN Foundation | Royal College of Nursing

We support nurses, midwives and healthcare assistants in the UK by fundraising and providing grants for the healthcare sector.

http://www.rcnfoundation.org.uk/

May09Bump · 15/11/2024 17:56

School nurse for a private school - you could possible use the school coaches for travel if arranged.

blitzen · 15/11/2024 17:56

OP, that sounds really hard. When will you be eligible to apply for the next band up at work?