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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you were absolutely flat broke in this situation, how would you make money?

559 replies

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:32

Some context - single mum of 3 teenagers. Qualfied as a nurse a year ago, so on the lowest increment for band 5 pay. i work all night plus extra bank shifts to maximise my income with enhancements. Moving up pay scales/banding is impossible at the minute. The extra shifts means my UC entitlement is 0 most months. I get CB for 2/3 of the children. Eldest has autism and whilst he works, he doesnt earn enough to be contributing anything substantial to the household. Ex gave up working and claims benefits, i get the standard £29 a month deduction from his benefits via CMS, he hasnt seen the children in over a decade so doesnt contribute anything further. I dont drive and theres no public transport running at a time that i can get to work, so i have to pay for taxis which are expensive but i have no other options. Its a 2 hour walk before/after 13 hours shifts and i usually do 4 or 5 in a week, im so exhausted i cant do this walk on top of my very busy active shift. We live in a rented house, which is a reasonable rent for the area, but still expensive. 1 child in school who can walk, 1 child in college who cant walk as its too far so i have to ay transport costs for them. I have some "unnecessary" outgoings, gaming subscriptions and streaming services, however my children are home alone 4 or 5 nights a week so they need something to keep them occupied as i dislike them going out and about whilst im at work, as i work in a very busy A&E department, im not easily contactable and like to know they are safe. I have some small debts im paying off from when i was a student and really struggled to get by.

Every month i run i out of money, its just impossible. I cant work more, i cant see where i can reduce out goings. I cant get a third job (my substantial and bank are two different contracts). I cant afford christmas, which i know isnt the be all and end all. But, when i was a student i promised my children a better future when i was stressed writing assignments doing placements and missing important events. But its not gotten better. Infact im worse off each month now than i was when studying. The recent NHS payrise left me worse off, as it bumped me into the next pension bracket, so the little i got backdated last pay, i now owe in pension arrears from April when the pay rise was back dated to. This amount is more than i received in back pay last month.

Life is just impossible. I cant give my children any standard of living, despite working my arse off to improve my career and do as many shifts a week as i am physically able to do.

What would you do? Genuinely? My only potential plan at the minute is the WFH pip assessor roles, its the same money im on now, but no travel costs. Keep my bank job to pick up an extra weeked shift each week. But its a job role i struggle with morally, and i would lose the patient contact element of my job for the most part. And A&E was my dream job, i love it, and the experience is vital for my future career aspirations.

OP posts:
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SchoolDilemma17 · 15/11/2024 18:58

You need to reduce those taxi costs. Yes you will have to spend upfront but it’s worth it in the long term. Scooter, moped, e-bike, or cheap second hand car.
Otherwise long term I don’t know how sustainable this job is anyway if you live 2 hour walk away. You can’t afford to spend so much on taxis.

Westofeasttoday · 15/11/2024 18:58

That is so tough but you sound like a great mum trying to better herself and kids lives. Not sure there is a quick fix but maybe……

  1. Electric scooter - plug in at work to avoid the extra electricity charges
  2. Coukd you tutor or mentor nursing students?
  3. Consolidate the subscriptions - is there one package?

best of luck to you. Big hugs.

MrPickles0001 · 15/11/2024 18:59

if i was buying brand food labels then id either use reduced and or supermarket own version's

SchoolDilemma17 · 15/11/2024 19:00

RabbitsEatPancakes · 15/11/2024 18:49

If you have a licence then I'd get a car, if your parents can lend you the money.

Look for an older one with one owner. We literally just sold my grans old fiesta for £500. Less than 60,000 miles, serviced every year. Just 18yrs old but reliable as anything. Cost about £400 in insurance a year. We'd just been using it as an extra run around. That would pay for itself in no time.

I would look at how much the gaming and subscriptions are costing. PP guessing £20 sounds way off, I know people sending £100+ per month on these without noticing.

Yes, I am using an aunt’s car. One owner, 30k miles in 10 years, always parked in garage and would be worth 1-2k max. But had it for 5 years, works super well. My insurance is £350 a year.

SapphireOpal · 15/11/2024 19:01

mossylog · 15/11/2024 18:57

Between the OT, commuting and children I'm guessing you're quite time poor. A lot of people in this situation end up spending a fortune on easy food— takeaways, ready meals, etc. Maybe that isn't you, but if you do the sums and it's a big outgoing, might be worth tackling that end of it— batch cooking, not getting brand names etc. could save more than you'd earn doing surveys or whatever.

This was my thoughts as well. What are your other outgoings like? Food etc?

Are DC putting the heating on a lot at night when you're not there?

70s · 15/11/2024 19:02

Aesthetic practitioner with nursing qualification seem to earn a mint. Always wished I’d done nursering over teaching as I’d do this xx

Secradonugh · 15/11/2024 19:02

Please check your nhs cycle2work scheme. Most will do ebikes that you pay off over 9 or 12 months. Even if you get a really good ebike it's likely to be less than 100 quid a month for those 9 or 12 months, running cost would be 20p a shift...
Speak to council tax depth to see if you can get further discounts.

TiredEyesToday · 15/11/2024 19:02

Does anyone drive to work from roughly your direction that you could car share with? You’d need to pay some petrol, but it wouldn’t be as much as a taxi.

VoteDappy · 15/11/2024 19:03

teenmaw · 15/11/2024 18:47

I'm not sure if you missed the pension opt out option, yes it's a last resort but needed now more than in 30 years!

Opting out of her pension would increase her tax and NI payments-people think they get their entire pension payment back
They don't, it's barely worth it and an unwise choice as the employer contributions are so good
I wish people would stop advising this

SpunkyKoala · 15/11/2024 19:04

Go for the pip role you can always go back to nursing later when the kids are in a better place

Redpandapaw · 15/11/2024 19:04

the Botox industry need nurses!!

I know this isn’t what you asked - but I’m wondering if we can all help you reduce your groceries bill?? How much do you spend and where do you shop?

HurdyGurdy19 · 15/11/2024 19:05

You are in such a difficult situation. Regarding transport costs, at least, look into

"wheels to work". Google it, to see if there's one in your area. Their blurb says
Wheels 2 Work is a not for profit moped loan scheme, that helps people get to work, apprenticeships, or training, where no other form of transport is available.
Eligible candidates receive a moped after they have completed the compulsory basic training (CBT).

Also look at liftshare.com/uk. I realise that your shift pattern may make this more difficult, but at least have a look.

Car share with trusted, reviewed and rated Liftshare.com members

Sick of expensive travel? Car share for less with Liftshare, the UK's biggest car sharing community. Cheap, social and green travel is just a few clicks away

https://liftshare.com/uk

justasking111 · 15/11/2024 19:06

@stressedoutstudent

Is there anything your husband could do to help. Even working from home there should be something out there.

Sometimesrational · 15/11/2024 19:10

Can your child who is at college get a job and make a contribution for their keep?

sabbii · 15/11/2024 19:10

Can your college kid get the education maintenance thing. EmA or rather, it's not much but could help out
As many have said
Bike
Pip for as long as you can stomach it

P.s any friends who can give a few private driving lessons to help familiarise with driving and limit the number of lessons

SchoolDilemma17 · 15/11/2024 19:10

justasking111 · 15/11/2024 19:06

@stressedoutstudent

Is there anything your husband could do to help. Even working from home there should be something out there.

There is no husband

VoteDappy · 15/11/2024 19:11

Have just seen you can drive
Just get a small car either salary sacrifice or parental loan
Ask one of your parents to do some practice runs first
Your situation is not sustainable currently

Ukholidaysaregreat · 15/11/2024 19:11

I bought my car - an old Toyota Yaris for £1000. It runs and runs. I can fit all the kids in to drop them off places and it is worth it for me. Might be worth if for you at £15 a taxi ride. Good Luck sounds very difficult. You have done so well to get qualified and run a home.

LannieDuck · 15/11/2024 19:13

You need to get off the taxis. I agree with the moped idea. Can you salary sacrifice into your pension a bit to put you down into the original tax bracket?

MeganM3 · 15/11/2024 19:13

Honestly in your shoes I'd leave the job for now and get something closer to home.
It won't be forever just while the kids are in this phase.

A nurse friend of mine has temporarily packed in nursing while her DC is having some school issues and is a cash in hand cleaner cleaning nice houses £20 per hour and claiming benefits.
Yes not exactly ideal but she's keeping afloat.

Cakeandusername · 15/11/2024 19:13

It’s sounds like you are doing amazingly well. You are supporting 3 people and yourself. Your ex is contributing nothing shame on him.

isthesolution · 15/11/2024 19:14

I'd take the pip assessor job. You can keep doing bank shifts. And you can go back into a permanent hospital job when the children are older?

There's a scheme called wheels to work as well - check if they do this in your area. You can use a moped for about £30-40 a week, fully insured etc. I'm not sure if that would work out cheaper/better than taxis?

potatocakesinprogress · 15/11/2024 19:14

omg people stop suggesting bikes. no one is cycling 8 miles both before and after doing a 12 hour shift in A&E, especially in winter 🙄

andweallsingalong · 15/11/2024 19:14

Apologies if anyone has already suggested this, but if you're up for riding a scooter look for ride to work schemes. You use to be able to get scooter and helmet for a low cost rental, servicing including and just hand it back when you no longer need it on a government scheme.

bamboosockmonster · 15/11/2024 19:15

Sounds so tough OP. Depending on the ages of your kids I would ask them to look into ways to bring money into the household working from home e.g. develop websites, youtube channel, anything! Ask them to be creative and do something they would enjoy. Niche blog with advertising, Substack, Tiktok, Instagram account for the cat or something creative and fun. I realise this is a bit of a longshot but they could develop skills and support you. Some of that time gaming and watching TV could be focussed on bringing in money in another way online instead. It is possible to make money, they just have to go about it the right way.