To have a romantic view of life as a SAHM?

[ConfusedMummy12]

I'm really struggling with my time management. I work school hours from home. I make a very easy meal in my lunch break, which I have for lunch and then we all have for dinner.
Otherwise, I work while kids are in school.
Do the basics housework (clean kitchen, laundry etc) when they get home.
And we split the rest of the housework between us evenings and weekends and have a cleaner 2 hrs a week.

AIBU to really want a break and be a SAHM for a while? I have this romantic notion that I'll actually get to do some yoga or swimming or something regularly, read a book, cook a wider variety of meals, clean the house myself while the kids are in school and actually be present with them when they get home, get on top of the backlog of decluttering and repainting etc, use weekends to visit family, etc.

Money would be tight, but I think we could manage...and if we don't I have enough savings to cover the time it would take to job hunt for something else...but I'm worried I'm being too optimistic about the grass being greener on the other side.

Think of your future.
This will affect your income, your pension etc.
Could you support yourself??
I cannot fathom why women are still giving away financial independence

I think what you need is a month off to recover from the daily burnout of life. I feel it too. What you are describing (reading, relaxing, doing yoga) isn't the same as being a SAHM. It sounds like you just need some time to yourself.

As an aside, is there any way to juggle your hours around so that you could have a longer lunch break to relax and be creative and then make up the hours in the evening instead? X

Two part timers covering a full time job are more expensive. Simple as that really.

Employers don’t want the extra cost.

I get that, but then am not sure why they would scratch their heads all perplexed when people leave the industry !

Suggestion upthread was to put in for unpaid parental leave. Take six weeks off for a reset then back to it.

My ex left me out of the blue when DD was 5. My career has meant that we have continued to have a nice life, my pension pot is growing nicely although it was very hard work in the early years.

These are my plans for retirement in 3 months!!!

Haven’t RTFT, but I was struck by your post! I know that every generation has it’s challenges, and many things were much harder for my mum and grandmas than they are for me… But I don’t often hear anyone acknowledge that our current version of “having it all” is really hard too sometimes. So thank you for making me feel a bit better this morning when I feel like I’m failing at everything!

Snacks and water bottles can be done night before and left in fridge/school bags.

Can you have a breakfast that doesn’t require cooking? That way there isn’t much clean up either, and the kids can help with it.

And I agree with the PP who said get up earlier. DH and I always aim to be in the kitchen half an hour ahead of the kids in the morning so we do wake up quite a bit earlier than them.

Thanks MNers!
So what I've done to try and keep my job is:

• bought a tumble dryer to save time hanging clothes in the morning
• used chat gpt to create a weekly menu
• prep dinner before kids come down, but finish cooking when they're home
• prioritise reading/yoga for 20 mins a day so I feel nourished

The hive mind has persuaded me to keep my job so hopefully these changes will help!

Funnily enough last week our cleaner cancelled, and its been a lot easier to keep on top of things after we spent some initial time doing what she normally does, as we're more thorough....so I feel like I may actually stop using a cleaner and just get a deep clean every 6 weeks or something!

The civil service appears to support job sharers.
https://www.civil-service-careers.gov.uk/recruitment-process-for-job-sharers/

I am wondering if anyone has had any success with this? It is interesting that you have to identify and apply together as a partnership.

@Samphire44 . I was a civil servant from the 1970s to 2008.
They were ahead of the trend on women's employment and introduced job sharing in the 80s I think. By the time I had children in the 90s they allowed part time and part year contracts. I went part time when DC were 0 to 5 then part year so had school holidays off. Paid pro rata.

Job sharing was very unpopular once part time came in because you were tied to a partner. Lots of disadvantages compared to part time.

I'd be very bored and feel unchallenged. Maternity leave was way too long for me.

Yes, I suppose if you are the sort of person who finds it impossible to avert boredom off your own bat or to find your own challenges, being a SAHM or a carer or retired must be difficult.

I find the issue with that is with being tied to tasks or a place and being unable to fully concentrate on other things. I can find plenty to do/interest me when I don’t have to entertain a toddler, or have half an ear out for something going wrong, or the like. But being unable to commit uninterrupted time (in particular uninterrupted well rested time!) makes any delve into another subject quite shallow and generally unsatisfying.