Wondering if I'm always unpopular because I'm autistic?

[remembranceday212]

A couple of people said they thought I was autistic recently which was a total shocker.

Having looked into it a bit it does kind of make sense. I'm not going to pursue a diagnosis because frankly it's no one else's business.

I've done well at school, Uni and work, so it hasn't held me back as such.

But the bit I'm not coping with is just not fitting in with any group, and not 'getting it'.

I just never get what people are talking about in groups- and need things explained to me really clearly before I get it. By which point the conversation has died or completely moved on.

Just feeling sorry for myself really. Just feel really lonely, and would love to be included. I come across as really friendly, but after a short while people move away from me.

Yes @FixingStuff I found the primary school gate absolutely awful!!

@FixingStuff @remembranceday212 I also found the school gate hard (I later realised several ‘friends’ used me for childcare- after they went to secondary school I never heard from the mums again)

Is there a main autism/adhd online test I can do?

I don't have any sensitivity issues to food texture light or sounds.

But I'm incredibly disorganised and generally cannot cope with life and laundry.

Feeling awful this week, as my personality is really chatty, but I've just been mute all week and it's really taking its toll on me- I feel like I'm having a breakdown and just want to sob and cry.

There's no one I can talk to irl, as my partner already thinks it's autism, and I don't want to reveal my vulnerabilities to him- I'm still trying to pretend I'm normal.

And my mum is 1000 times more weird than me- so will send me off in the wrong direction

Look up ASRS which is an ADHD screener dir i adults. You only need to fill in the first section which is about 6 questions to get a score. The other questions are to let your doctor know what the difficulties you're having are, and can come in useful to see which areas to target or as a sort of comparison later after you've put strategies in place.

Surely that would be very unusual not to have sensitivities?

I scored as borderline on the online tests and the ones my GP & GMMH did, but I have light, sound, smell, taste and touch issues.

I think sometimes we can struggle to identify our sensory issues because we’ve unconsciously woven things into our lives to help us deal with them.

I mean I’d be tempted to say I don’t have any issues with food (especially compared with my children who are classic beige eaters in a way that I never was) but then I realise I very very rarely eat any fruit because the texture can be icky and the flavour is unpredictable. And I used to make my mum sieve the lumps out of pineapple yoghurt so that I could eat it 😂

There’s a school mum who is very involved in school but very few people actually like spending time with her and avoid having conversations with her as she’s just not very good at picking up cues / letting other people speak. She will go on and on and on with a story that is really dull. You could literally be yawning and she wouldn’t stop talking. So… if she asks me about my holiday for instance I’ll be polite and answer with a quick summary of the holiday but I won’t ask her anything back as it’s just painful listening to her stories. Another friend mentioned to me that she thinks that this mum might be autistic. I don’t know why but hadn’t crossed my mind before but now it has I’m a bit more tolerant of her. Do you think your stories are interesting /funny / relevant when you tell them?

It could have been me who wrote the first post on this thread. I've never understood why women don't like me. I'm kind, I'm interesting, I'm funny, I'm entertaining, I'm caring, I'm generous, I'm loyal, I'm reliable, I'm honest, and yet I literally have no friends.

I've had friends in the past who dropped me and I've had many many false starts as in I start a friendship with someone and it just doesn't go the distance: after one or two meetings they just dropped me or they pretend that they are constantly busy and cannot meet me, until I eventually get the message and stop bothering them.

I'd probably get there for 5.30 and then hang around awkwardly around the corner before heading in about five to....

Self diagnosis is widely accepted in autistic circles. The vast majority of those who self diagnose do so after enormous amounts of research.

I suppose I'm self-diagnosed or self-assessed. Or at least I have put together a picture based on things that were said by parents, teachers and my peers. I've had a "probably" from a GP and a MH therapist. I think based on my sensory issues alone it is highly probable that I am autistic but it would not be accepted as official.

I used to make my mum sieve chicken soup! I only realised I was probably autistic once my DD was diagnosed. I too hate the primary school gate.

Not odd at all! I’m not ND but lots of fellow leaders are. I’ve joined Trefoil guild and we socialise a lot, again very welcoming and diverse.