Honest opinions ... is a UK 14/16 seen as unattractive for dating as a 50 year old?

[lemonepisode1]

I'm online dating for a while. My face is decent and I'd consider myself relatively attractive in the looks stakes but it is my body that men seem to dislike.
As above , I'm that size, 5'7', proportioned except for a wide , flabby meno belly.Im 2.5stone overweight on the scales.
I weight train and walk and run over the week.. so I exercise every day. Look after my appearance/ clothes/ grooming etc but I really believe it's my body that turns them off .
Honestly, especially to men on here, is that size and body type unattractive to you on a woman who is 50?
What are your experiences and more so, what do you find attractive out of interest ?
Thanks.
Lemon

I am very sure about the type of man I'd like to date , some might say I'm delusional as I've sold myself short in the past and trampled all over My own boundaries but when the lies and misrepresentation creep in, I'm gone in a shot.

I think its the same as women, some people will have preferences some people won't care. I don't find overweight men attractive, my friend exclusively dates overweight men, some people don't care either way.

OP I am sorry that dating has made you question your value. How dare a man who lies about his own attributes then go on and judge anyone?
You need the thickest of skins to venture into that world. Best of luck. I am a fellow in size and age and am generally puzzled as to why anyone in our position wants to take on a man again. I am so happy and at peace being single.
Not a man hater, just a realist. There are some wonderful men out there it’s just going to be a very hard road to find them.

I tried OLD a few years ago as size 18 fifty something and had lots of offers.
14/16 is pretty normal size wise.
Of course imo the vast majority of men are selfish, shallow shits but you will get lots of contacts.
Then comes the issue of panning for gold amongst dross.

Honestly it would be great if that was true, all women were saints like you describe but I can sssure you many do not put their kids first, and for every man that cheated, he did it with a woman.

You need to be simultaneously more fussy and less fussy. Chat with almost anyone, don't judge too harshly immediately.

If they lie, seem too evasive, have awful grammar, make lewd suggestions or break your boundaries - block them. OLD is a numbers game.

As with PP meet up for a coffee in a busy place in a reasonable time frame. Reject everyone you want to.

The biggest compliment you can give each other on OLD is "you're just like your profile".

You are nowhere near the only middle aged woman to have a tummy. Are you the healthy, vibrant, sociable woman that the type of man you want to be with, would want to be with?

Thats the thing. When I was dating, I met 2 guys before I jacked it in (I hated it but that's another story).

One guy was the same age as me (literally by days) and the other one was 6 years younger. I'm sure they both could have gone for women much younger than them, they were both successful, home owners, good looking, took care of themselves but they didn't they chose a woman of 43, someone they had things in common with. I find the age thing gets thrown about all the time on here when in reality all people want is someone they have things in common with and who they actually find attractive.

My friend who was in her early 50’s had a lot of success with OLD. She posted natural photos of herself and all the men said they thought she actually looked prettier in real life. OP maybe include less dressed up photos on your profile.

Based on my own experiences a few years ago, there are a lot of delusional men out there.

And women. Aforementioned male friend said so so many pictures are altered beyond belief. To the extent the woman isn’t recognisable when they meet in real life, so heavily filtered, or pics of them 3 decades ago. And several stone earlier. And many think if you chat to them and go for a first date coffee/walk, you’re in a relationship, and if you don’t want to see them again, you’ve led them on and done a really bad thing. Because you chatted to them for two weeks before.

he also gets offered sex a lot. Like the woman makes the first move. Like if there is shagging it seals the deal and you’re official and owed a relationship.

honestly I think it’s just crazy out there. Both sides. Men and women behaving badly, for different reasons, but still badly.

I didn't have any problems getting people to meet on OLD when I was that weight and age. I was honest about my size in my profile.

I had same. I’m 58 and tried OLD for first time recently. I got numerous messages from men in their 70’s right up to a 79 year old who got quite abusive when I gave him a polite no.

Im a 12/14 and all my photos are unfiltered, very recent and I included a couple of full length ones. All I seemed to attract other than the old guys was men look for ‘something casual’, sex pests or ones who were borderline illiterate.

The handful of dates I had included a couple who were older and shorter than they claimed and another who pushed me against the car park wall and tried to shove his tongue down my throat and grope me in broad daylight.

I lasted a painful 3 months before giving up completely and deciding single is far preferable.

Yup my experience too so I don't bother now. Basically men over 70 are looking for a carer and/or cleaner/housekeeper so I wouldn't be interested anyway.

If it is age; one would imagine that the reasonable, realistic men who are prepared to date women close to their age, get snapped up and therefore get off old quite quickly.

You are then left with a much higher proportion of men who want to date significantly younger etc and are on there much longer. You are therefore more likely to encounter them (or not encounter them as the case may be).

Of course the majority of men perpetually on old are unrealistic, deluded (and also sleazy/sex seeking etc.); the ones not like that would only be on there briefly and then probably be off if permanently (unless their relationship breaks down at some point).

Maybe if women approached old with that in mind, they'd realise it is a sifting gravel for gold nuggets/previous stones exercise; there is going to be a huge proportion of "gravel", and not take the gravel they encounter so to heart/personally.

A few of my aunts ended up single in their late forties/ early fifties, due to their long term relationships breaking up, and they did OLD. They had no trouble meeting men, had lots of dates and short term relationships but they all went off it after a while and none of the relationships lasted. Depressingly, they said it was because the men all turned out to mainly want someone to cook for them/ clean up after them and basically pick up where their previous wives had left off. One of my aunts was very taken with one man she was seeing and even went to live with him after a while but she dumped him and came back shortly afterwards because she reckoned what he had been primarily interested in all along in was getting someone to help him run his b&b for nothing(!)
I know it’s certainly not the way it is for everybody but it’s just so depressing and demoralising to think of it. These are women who literally gave their whole lives to looking after other people; their siblings, their own kids, their aunts and mother when they got older.Their husbands treated them like crap…I would really, really like to believe we live in a world where someone nice and decent could come along and sweep them off their feet and treat them well but, no.
I do know a few women who have met their partners at that age (the men are all older) and they are happy but they have all been adamant that they don’t want to live together, but keep their own place, separate finances etc and stuck to their boundaries. Their partners are all very eager to do these things, get married etc. When I was younger I couldn’t understand why if they were happy, they were so insistent on maintaining their independence but now I’m older I can see how wise they were to stick to their guns.

Perverts is what I call them.

Many men like a bit of cushion for the pushing. Many fatties exist at under 50 so don't feel bad, you'll clean up.

There are some men in their 40s and 50s who are only interested in and attracted to younger women.

There are far more men in their 40s and 50s who are in relationships and looking for relationships with women in their 40s and 50s.

The idea that all men of a certain age are only interested in younger women is nonsense, based on skewed surveys of unrepresentative groups of men.

The short answer to your question is some men won’t like it, some will like it, and some will be indifferent. They don’t all think the same.

One of first men I chatted to asked me if I owned my own home and then asked if he could come over later as he lives with his sister and her husband so there’s no privacy

Fwiw when I tried old in my mid 30s, I had encounters with men who didn't seem single, men seeking sex, illiterate men, odd/bonkers/nasty men, and of the three I met; one (although he had a super job) seemed to have alcohol problems, one had very dated photos looking a lot younger than he was (and when I met him he also had half his face covered in milia, which he'd clearly not thought to have treated ..... and the last one was not interested in me (I'd found him boring, bland, and not very intelligent anyway). There was a seemingly nice guy that I didn't meet for various reasons.

I messaged one guy who had in his profile there he "wasn't really interested in dating anyone older than him). I was a year younger than him and he didn't respond (though of course she may not have been the main reason).

But it was slim pickings!!!! In your 30s too.
Next to no pickings in fact.

I didn't understand old then though, I think you have to be rather scientific and rational about it. People who are decent are on and off fast. That's why you're encountering the dross all the time.

Also old is not like meeting irl.
It's best to try to do that as much h as possible.

I had similar.

First guy more or less asked if I had my own place/lived alone. This was quite soon in the chat. I said "that's a pretty weird question to ask a complete stranger on a dating site, why do you ask" and he answered with some BS sheepish thing like "aw it's just handy
.. em ...".

He either lived with his parents or he lived with a partner. I'm thinking the latter.

Urgh, it's definitely that most older men wanting to date are single for a reason, and they're dickheads. I'm 44, and look younger than I am, a lot of the men who 'like' me are 55-60. The decent 50ish men you might want are probably still married, and any who become single are probably snapped up pretty quickly irl. It's a numbers game, you have to date, date, date and statically you'll meet someone you gel with, but it is soul destroying I'm afraid

Most men will want someone to clean and tidy up after them.
Cook.for them. Basically look after them.

They need an online maid site.

Then ones who want younger women. 🤢
Think alot of themselves.
Some may be ok looking but really rate themselves.
Usually not much money so will either want to fleece older women for money or just shag younger ones. Pretending they are rich.
The genuine wealthy older ones don't need OLD.

My friend in her 60s was snapped up by a hot guy of similar age within a few weeks of dating. I’d say she’s a size 14/16 and very sexy with it. Not fake or conventionally attractive but confident in her body.

Dont lose any sleep over the men looking for young things. They sound utterly gross and it’s good to dodge that bullet upfront! None of the good men I know would be looking for someone much younger.

Good luck out there. Hope you find someone fun and gorgeous!

Older men can only get younger women if they are either still very fit / good looking or financially secure and generous. Any average man with a pot belly have absolutely minimal success rate.
To be honest, age is only important to certain degree- if you look good you have lots of options from all age groups.