Honest opinions ... is a UK 14/16 seen as unattractive for dating as a 50 year old?

[lemonepisode1]

I'm online dating for a while. My face is decent and I'd consider myself relatively attractive in the looks stakes but it is my body that men seem to dislike.
As above , I'm that size, 5'7', proportioned except for a wide , flabby meno belly.Im 2.5stone overweight on the scales.
I weight train and walk and run over the week.. so I exercise every day. Look after my appearance/ clothes/ grooming etc but I really believe it's my body that turns them off .
Honestly, especially to men on here, is that size and body type unattractive to you on a woman who is 50?
What are your experiences and more so, what do you find attractive out of interest ?
Thanks.
Lemon

I'd be more concerned about being 2.5st overweight and work on that rather than worry about what the other sex make of a size 14/16....

So you have met men irl as you are commenting on how they appear irl.

Are you saying that men seem interested in you until they meet you in person? If so, then it can’t be age as they already know that, and they probably know about your life stage too. So it must be chemistry. That is a combination of physical attraction and personality. So perhaps your weight is one factor, but it could be any combination - maybe Man A likes a bit of meat on a woman’s bones but didn’t gel with your personality, while Man B really enjoyed your company but is only attracted to slimmer women. I think, though, that men who have a really strong preference for slim women are going to know from your photo that you are not for them, so not convinced your weight is the reason. It just takes a lot of trial and error to meet the right person.

I should hope so!having chickens should tip the scale in anyone’s favour!!!!

The problem is 80% of women are going for 20% of the men on these site so those men seem to have all the choice and the pick of the bunch. 80% of men get v few or if any interested. SO yes I think with OLD being overweight will work against you if it is those men you are interested in. Some won't care but you will be competing, for lack of a better word , with slimer and in some cases younger women .. they don't have to be substanically younger either

There are a lot of available men out there who are actually happy to be single, deep down, and they are on dating sites purely to feed their delusion that they are super-attractive guys who don't have to settle for anything less than perfection.

They reject most women near their own age and are either initially or ultimately rejected by younger women for reasons they refuse to accept.

If they get a few dates with a younger woman it feeds their egos to be seen out with someone they think reflects their own attractiveness and status, something a woman of 50 something with a meno belly can't offer. They're basically insecure and come with all sorts of unattractive traits.

Yes, the delusion is strong. They're very unhappy human beings and best avoided purely on that basis.

Stay off the apps.
Make and cultivate friends dships irl.
Live your best life, doing whatever brings you joy.
Eat a healthy diet, and attend to health issues promptly.
Get enough sleep.
Quit smoking and cut down drinking (menopause plus drinking = problems).

I think it depends how you carry the weight and how you dress. A 14-16 with an hourglass shape who wears clothes that show of her curves is probably very attractive to most men. I carry all my weight on my stomach and thighs, and at a size 16 I looked big and frumpy.

In your position I would focus on my health first. Getting into a healthy weight range would be my priority.

Unfortunately for us older women, a lot of the men our age aren't actually deluded at all. They do get younger women, when on the face of it they have nothing going for them!

I knew 2 men in their mid - late 50s, one from work, one from a hobby. Both managed to somehow find women in their late 30's/early 40's, smart and attractive women, who wanted to date them. Neither man was much in the looks department, neither was wealthy, and their personalities were ok but nothing exceptional.

There is a dire shortage of "good men" so women in their late 30s and 40s who get fed up with being messed around, end up going older. Because any good prospect of their own age is going for someone late 20s/early 30s.

That's how it goes so realistically, once you're in your 50s, then its 60's and above. Sure there will be exceptions but in the main, that's the dating pool. The only other exception is a much younger man who wants to date an older woman, usually because he has some older woman fantasy! But that won't lead to a relationship.

If you're 5ft 7 and a size 14/16 I'm surprised you're 2.5 stone overweight. I'm 5ft 6 and a size 14 , menopausal and I could put on another stone before my BMI crept into the overweight category. Are you sure you need to lose as much as that? You might look better than you think.

How fucking depressing. I really dread hitting 50 and being a single woman, if all I have are people about to retire.

I'm not sure what 20 something would want to date a 40 something man. I have a friend who is 26 and as much as I love him you can tell the age difference.

There is not a dire shortage of good men, that gets put out all the time. Are all the single women at 40 or 50 not good women then? If not then not all men are bad either.

@XxSideshowAuntSallyx honestly, it is not depressing and I say that as someone who internet dated from ages 36-51. I had my best dates towards the end of those years, mostly because I grew in confidence and happiness with myself and then when nearly 52 I met lovely DP.

There is no shortage of anything at all and just like in all aspects of life, there are good people and not so good people to be met. There are plenty of men who want to date similar aged women. I am an ordinary looking middle aged woman (much as I'd love to believe I'm something special) and I had no difficulty dating men my own age at all. I don't live in central London either, before someone lobs that old chestnut in!

Agreed @MargoLivebetter

having been overweight and single and slim and single at different ages I think that size is much more important than age. Moreover you can’t change your age. I think men would always love to date 21 year olds with model physique and no baggage but most are realistic about their actual prospects.

Two options:

1. Men can have kids at all ages but a woman's fertile period is smalker, therefore men are biologically programmed to find women attractive when they are at their most fertile.

2. Men are superficial and disgusting.

Either way, a lot of men treat women as annoying irrelevant 'Karens' once they hit 40s/50s and are no longer 'useful'. It's depressing if you live your life looking for male validation. Sadly, as we live in a patriarchal society, it's hard to avoid.

More likely age. When my DSis tried, she was only ever approached by men who were at least 10 years older who quickly tried to bring up the subject of 'caring for a partner in older life'. She stopped OLD.

I just chatted to my DH (age 58), he said he would date similar aged women or from about 45 upwards. The things he would look out for are slimness, interesting hobbies, being active , having a zest for life and a pretty face.

There is not a dire shortage of good men, that gets put out all the time. Are all the single women at 40 or 50 not good women then? If not then not all men are bad either

You're ignoring the fact that generally speaking, men and women are different.

How many women pretend to a guy that they want a relationship to get them into bed? I'd wager not as many women as men! Most women aren't looking at OLD as a means of racking up notches on their bed posts. Whereas a lot of men have a kid in a sweet shop mentality. Add to that men are more influenced by porn. They're more likely to view it regularly and more likely to want to act out what they see. Sure some women might be the same, but again far less common.

Lots of older single men have lost out in a divorce or just otherwise never really got their lives together. So are looking for a woman to move in with. Women are usually far more settled and already have a proper home. Again there's exceptions obviously but most men move in with the woman, not vice versa.

In society as a whole, we still have a long way to go to equality. Look at all the posts on here of women doing all the chores, carrying the "mental load". Men are fully capable of taking care of themselves, when they have to. Does it mean they'll pull their weight in a relationship, not necessarily.

I'm not saying women have no faults and men are all "bad". But you can't compare the two. It doesn't work that way. We are different.

I’ve a male friend on the apps in your age range. I can say from watching him, and his anecdotes of other males who are divorced on them who are in his wider friendship circle, one of whom I know, age isn’t a barrier, they date age m appropriate and older women, they doesn’t care, basically they just want a woman who adores them and wants to have sex with them, but I’m afraid a slim figure is indeed important to many of them. As sex is important.

yes they want a relationship, someone to do something with, spend time with, go to things together with, but really someone to give them regular sex, Is way up there. All the women he and others have dated past a first date, have been slim, and ranged from late forties to early 60s.

It is only attractive and well off men that can date that much younger. Unless they are multi millionaires, then they don’t need to be attractive.

Honestly if I had to date again at my age, I would lose half a stone and get a tummy tuck actually. I am about a size 12-14.

The older gents probably wanted an attractive woman to act as their carer as tey get older & more infirm.

I honestly don’t think most men think like that, even at that age they are looking for someone who looks good and who is going to get naked. Trust me they ain’t on the apps thinking they need a carer. They are on the apps looking for someone they’d pop viagra for

Well, off is subjective. Someone with their own little house, and a 40 - 50 grand wage coming in is considered well off to someone on minimum wage or benefits.

She not judging them for any of that. She judging them for lying about it.
OP is fretting about being an average size and the men she’s met are just lying about their average ‘shortcomings’.
She actually went on dates with these liars so you’re wrong. 🙄

I'm hourglass yes.
It's not about not wanting small, bald men who present themselves as 42 in photos . It's about men stating that they are indeed 52, have hair and a correct and honest height in their bio.
I once met a fully bald man who just about reached my ear in bulky trainers and looked at least ten years older than he presented.
Regardless of the physical, it's the misrepresentation and arrogance that goes with it that gives me the turn off.
I need to
Lose weight anyway and these replies have given me So much food for thought.

The ones with daddy issues are 26 year olds wanting to date 40 something men.

Single women of 40 or 50 have kids that come first because they got divorced from their husband cheating on them. A man is secondary. But yes they are better than the men.
Single men of 40 or 50 are either the divorced ones that did the cheating or have an online gaming addiction and don't like going outside.