To think my daughter is absolutely developmentally appropriate, and it's other children being encouraged to grow up quickly?

[WhyCantTheyJustBeKids]

I've name-changed for this.

I'll start this thread by qualifying my experience with children. I've worked with children for 20 years. Teaching, social work, and various roles between the two. So I've worked with lots of children, and I'm not a stranger to the idea they're all different. However...

My daughter is 7 this month. She has always been developmentally advanced, meeting all milestones quite early. I say this confidently as my older child did not. She's socially quite sophisticated with a lot of emotional intelligence. Academically bright, too.

She plays with dolls, a toy kitchen, teddies, reads a range of books from chapter books to Julia Donaldson. What she'd really love for her birthday is a Barbie dreamhouse. I've been seeing increasing numbers of posts, mainly on FB, from people with similar aged children, asking what the best skincare is for their child, or listing off the beauty or fashion type items they're getting for Christmas.

We just saw Disney on Ice for her birthday treat - we do this every year, and she dresses up. I had a couple of comments from people I know, amounting to her being a bit old to still dress up. Elsewhere, I'd commented that she wants a Barbie house for her birthday, and someone suggested it was unusual. I'm paraphrasing. But in short, I'm being told she's babyish really.

In my eyes, she's totally developmentally appropriate. I don't comment on what others are doing with their children, even though I do think 7/8/9 is a bit young for things like skincare. So I'm not sure why comments happen the other way. She's still little, acts little, and enjoys the things you expect a little girl to enjoy. That means that while she's starting to watch some grown up stuff, she also still enjoys watching Bluey.

So am I being unreasonable not to be encouraging my daughter to behave older? Am I keeping her "babyish?"

Absolutely agree. People seem to desperate to make their kids grow up and I don't understand it. 7 is still very little! And that age should absolutely still be playing with toys etc in my opinion. I have a 6 (7 in January) yr old girl and 9 yr old boy and they still play imaginative games together, get figures out sometimes, etc. I guess my son is probably quite unusual (all I hear from his male friends that age is that they're into gaming) but I think it's good to let them be little as long as possible. We are going to get a nintendo switch for them for Xmas and I do wonder if that'll be the start of the end of all the lovely playing they still do, we'll see. But skincare for 7 year old girls - yuck!

Eh? This is insane. Most nine year olds I have known (including my own) sound similar to your daughter. I wouldn't expect skin care etc to be a thing untl at least 10/11/12 and even then only in a very childish way with face masks etc. Most settled, happy seven year olds live in a world of make believe don't they?

Your DD sounds lovely and completely normal. My DS the same age loves Bluey.

I get irritated by people encouraging children to develop adult interests too early.

My 11yo asked for another my generation doll last Xmas and was still playing with her play kitchen aged 10. Even recently she got her Barbie camper van out when another friend revealed she secretly still likes Barbies.
However I’m finding I’m having to nag her to get off her phone and she is showing a keen interest in ‘skincare’ as that’s what is trending. I think she just wants it on display rather than particularly using it. You can understand a ‘tween’ being in that awkward in between stage, but a 7 year old is still a young child! Crazy that these trends are reaching girls that age 😩

No wonder so many young girls want to transition. Barely out of childhood and pressured into thinking about how they look.

My now 24 year old met Julia Donaldson as a 9 year old when JD visited their primary school (we have a signed copy of The Gruffalo as a result). DD was in her element.

My 9 year old is the same, wouldn't have a clue about skincare, still even watches Bluey on occasion. Clotheswise she still very much likes what I would consider younger children's clothing.
I wouldn't really care what other people think. Children are not young for long so let's embrace and enjoy those young years for as long as possible!

I was still buying stuff for my dolls house the week my periods started!

Definitely agree - 7 is so young and a time full of playing and make believe for as long as possible ! She sounds lovely! X

I have an 8 year old and am relieved to say skincare, make up and social media is not even on her radar right now. Imaginative play is still very much her favourite thing to do - whether that be the form of her favourite book characters in the playground with friends or pretending to be school teachers/mums and dads when playing at home with her siblings. Her dolls and soft toys are very much loved when playing alone.

She has absolutely no unsupervised time on tablets or phones. Some homework is set online which she gets the tablet for and it is removed as soon as she has finished. No games, YouTube or social media access at all. She has unrestricted access to live tv and cbbc, everything else has a password. Fortunately her friend’s parents are like
minded

Does lots of sports, dance and music. Also reads a lot. Most of her spare time goes on hobbies or practising (her choice). She will happily spend a good hour reading too when she’s found a novel she enjoys. We play a lot of board games together as a family

Clothes wise she loves crop tops, leggings etc and current fashion just as much as dressing up. I don’t really object as long as it’s appropriate, don’t see the harm in what she chooses to wear.

While some of the above has been intentional decisions made by us, if I’m honest, the biggest factor is her immediate social circle also have no interest in skincare etc so she has no inclination to either

Tbf the book thing - my 7 yr old wouldn't want the gruffalo etc any more. He reads stuff like those treehouse books and toto the ninja cat.

I'd be a wee bit worried about the barbie stuff. But then I was a tomboy type and never saw what anyone saw in dolls, just...boring.

My son and my nephew are same age - 6. A few weeks ago when I visited my son ran straight to his toys to play and my nephew said, I don’t play with toys anymore. I found it really sad. My son still plays a lot and I will expect him to be playing with toys till about 10?

My dd13 would love a barbie dream house! She is mature in many ways but still loves to have a play with her schliech horses.

Keep them off TikTok and Instagram and only very limited use of YouTube in the main family living space. She’s met kids at her sport who are into skincare and the older teenagers there told them off for it! They listened to it coming from the older girls. Also, you can say they can have it but to buy with their own money. That quickly sorted out the desire for a Stanley cup.

She sounds like most of the year 2 children at the school I work in. They still like Disney, Bluey, Dolls, Lego, Barbie etc. They still love dressing up and none that I know of would be remotely interested in skincare.

@WhyCantTheyJustBeKids You do know that your daughter is perfectly normal and it's the other girls being pushed by social media and then friends to start wearing face cream. Any dermatologist will tell you it's bonkers and might irritate their young perfect skin. Social media is destroying children's childhoods. Even for those who ban it they will have friends who are into it and get influenced that way. Influencers are making lots of money on targeting young girls. It's disgusting and I wish parents could just stand up to it and explain to their children that they do not need this for their skin. It's really down to parents to guide their children because they are being influenced non stop by social media. I am so relieved to have boys but I am really worried about young girls who are constantly targeted to think about their appearance instead of focusing on more interesting things...

Totally appropriate. You see this with boys too - ‘cool’ (read bad / lazy) parents replacing all their kids toys with videogames at 5/6 and calling them ‘mature’ then being surprised when the kids don’t get invited to parties because they haven’t developed the social skills they need through play / role play.

Yes, I agree. I dress up all the time.

My son loved Sylvanian Families when he was about your daughter's age ( still does frankly, at least I'm not allowed to give his away!).

I think it's a sign of having a good imagination, liking make believe toys. Children who are impatient to move on from them to mimic grown ups instead perhaps have less imagination and will grow up to be more pragmatic adults, their parents probably are. We need both kinds of people! I don't think either are superior but I know who I prefer to hang out with in my free time!

My Almost 8year old DS loves dressing up…perhaps not in Disney princess but that’s not the point! He loves Lego, will still build with duplo, make dens and bases, all I’d say totally normal! I wouldn’t buy a 7year old skin care. How depressing.

My friend is buying her four year old a make up kit for Christmas as her main present instead of toys and I find that so very strange! Your approach is totally right OP.

Op your daughter sounds exactly like my twins. They are nearly 8 and one wants a Barbie dream house for Xmas. They are academically above average as is their older sister who played with Sylvanian families until she was almost 11. Ignore the comments, I think they're weird.

Love this x

I'm nearly 40 and still not into skincare... 7 year olds? Madness. You're doing it right in my opinion. Keep them young as long as possible.