To think my daughter is absolutely developmentally appropriate, and it's other children being encouraged to grow up quickly?

[WhyCantTheyJustBeKids]

I've name-changed for this.

I'll start this thread by qualifying my experience with children. I've worked with children for 20 years. Teaching, social work, and various roles between the two. So I've worked with lots of children, and I'm not a stranger to the idea they're all different. However...

My daughter is 7 this month. She has always been developmentally advanced, meeting all milestones quite early. I say this confidently as my older child did not. She's socially quite sophisticated with a lot of emotional intelligence. Academically bright, too.

She plays with dolls, a toy kitchen, teddies, reads a range of books from chapter books to Julia Donaldson. What she'd really love for her birthday is a Barbie dreamhouse. I've been seeing increasing numbers of posts, mainly on FB, from people with similar aged children, asking what the best skincare is for their child, or listing off the beauty or fashion type items they're getting for Christmas.

We just saw Disney on Ice for her birthday treat - we do this every year, and she dresses up. I had a couple of comments from people I know, amounting to her being a bit old to still dress up. Elsewhere, I'd commented that she wants a Barbie house for her birthday, and someone suggested it was unusual. I'm paraphrasing. But in short, I'm being told she's babyish really.

In my eyes, she's totally developmentally appropriate. I don't comment on what others are doing with their children, even though I do think 7/8/9 is a bit young for things like skincare. So I'm not sure why comments happen the other way. She's still little, acts little, and enjoys the things you expect a little girl to enjoy. That means that while she's starting to watch some grown up stuff, she also still enjoys watching Bluey.

So am I being unreasonable not to be encouraging my daughter to behave older? Am I keeping her "babyish?"

When youngest outgrew our ELC dollhouse we moved it into the kitchen as it's ideal for visiting children. I often have a little fiddle of an evening, keep it tidy, pop the cat out, that kind of thing

I work in year 2. Your daughter is absolutely where the majority of the children in my class are! I hope she has many years enjoying the Barbie house 🥰

Oh, and I had terrible acne/skin, from the age of 11. I got skincare (Clinique, from memory, as it was recommended), but I still played games, and with toys - more the 'fashion' dolls - so the two are not mutually exclusive.

I honestly think access to social media is damaging children.

Buying children make up and skincare is parking the path to sexualising them IMO.

Skincare for little girls is a ridiculous marketing ploy on a par with the crazy amount of 'menopause specific' toiletries and cosmetics that have sprung up since the corporate world seized on them as still more ways to exploit women and girls at both ends of the age spectrum.

She sounds totally normal! My DS is 7, in Y2, and she sounds very similar to him and many of his friends, both boys and girls. It's mad giving make-up and skincare to little kids! A bit of nail polish and glitter is fairly normal at that age, albeit not ubiquitous, but mascara etc. is just ridiculous.

My dc were exactly like your daughter and I did wonder if I was keeping them young compared to their peers. However my friend who works in children’s mental health said that my 2 were fine as they were age appropriate which is a healthy way of looking at it.

I think it’s sad that parents are letting their dc grow up so fast as that is effectively squashing independent thinking and imaginative play…

What skin concerns can a child of 7 or 8 have?? The only beauty stuff I cared about at that age was Impluse spray with a pop star on, rollerball glitter and maybe a lipstick in a crazy colour

I am an old bird - over 70 actually - I remember being 7yrs old, I remember my daughters being 7 years old and I remember my granddaughters being 7 years old. Yes, the style of toys have changed over the years, why wouldn't they? But everyone of us loved to dress up at that age - we all wanted to be the latest film character. We all played with dolls and both my daughters still have their own dolls as do their daughters. It saddens me to see children growing up and behaving way beyond their years mostly because parents instigate it.
Let them be kids and not mini versions of 'mum'

they are showing that they have been exposed to advertising which they are not mature enough to understand and don't have the critical thinking skills to withstand. This sentence could also be about their parents. It's pathetic and depressing.

I went into Boots the other day to get a deodorant and some mascara. It took me forever to find the deodorants, it was really frustraing. They were hidden at the back of the shop because the main shelves were basically rows upon rows of many different skincare brands. All the faddy Korean stuff now too. And multiple ranges within each brand. Sometimes even multiple sub ranges within ranges within each brand 😆. The deodorant section was so tiny it didn't stock the Nivea one I use so I had to go to Tesco instead. I despair.

My daughter is 8 and loves toys - she’s having a dolls house for Christmas. She had friends over at the weekend (all 8) and they planned imaginary games and with our generation dolls. She’s matured for sure, but is still imaginative, playful and loves toys and games.

My 12 year old does not like make up or jewelry.

She does like

• dancing
• acting
• crochet
• coding / robotics
• Lego

and she quite likes clothes, but they have to be comfy ones.

Only girls being pushed into ‘skincare’ though isn’t it. Perfectly acceptable for boys to have Lego/warhammer etc until they are men and beyond with nothing more than a lynx gift set on the horizon self care wise.

I feel exactly the same. My daughter has just turned 8 and loves her teddies and barbies. Absolutely no way in a million years would she even know what skincare is!

It makes me sad that teenagers and women in their 20s are into skincare tbh, let alone a seven year old!

My 16 year old wants rainbow high dolls and my little ponies to go with her video games, and yes, she plays with them often. My 8 year old wants books, makeup, toiletries and skincare creams, she loves pamper time, has little interest in toys but likes to go out running and golfing. I'll get them what they want within the budget.
I feel it's not about development, but values. DD16 values creativity and imagination and DD8 values outdoor hobbies and relaxation. She has toys, but they sit on a shelf. They're ornaments basically.
It's not new, my sister and I were the same. I loved nothing more than spending hours with my baby born doll. Feeding, changing, dressing, but my sister spent that time practicing her makeup. She's a beauty therapist now, and I'm a mum.
Just nurture her interests and ignore other people. Like you say, they're all different. The people you're talking to are just a snapshot, not necessarily relative to the general population.

Aw this is so sad to read. My DS still has a blankie and he's twenty!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-67993618

"Skincare " for a 7 year old is nuts 😳

Sounds normal to me. I’d be happy if my little soap dodgers showed more interest in having a wash than watching Bluey. Then again I know grown men who watch Bluey and cry at ‘Cricket’ (Onsie gets me every time)!

Your little girl sounds just like my one. My LG will be turning 7 in a few weeks and she's asked for a Barbie Dreamhouse too. She's not into skincare but does like nailpolish. All of her closest friends are also into dolls and other toys, not skincare etc.

Carry on with what you're doing OP! There is absolutely no good reason for little girls being indoctrinated into 'skincare'. All she needs is for her skin to be clean and protected from the sun (excepting any actual skin condition for which she is being medicated) The idea of putting products onto your skin to change its appearance, then having to put more products on to remove the first product, then having to use even more products to repair the skin from damage from the first two products, is just ridiculous - for women of any age. I know some people will say that they 'enjoy' wearing make-up, the find it fun/empowering etc. That's up to the adult individual. But persuading little girls to do this is completely wrong, in my opinion. As is persuading women of any age that the face/body they've been given has to be covered up and a new one drawn on top! The manufacturers/salespeople/beauty journalists do it to make money. And now they think they've got thee female population sewn up, they've started to market these things at boys too! Children couldn't buy these products themselves. If they have them it's because some misguided adult with more money than sense has enabled them. We are not commodities who need to market ourselves. We are worthy just as we are. Appearance isn't the most important thing about a human being.

YANBU. Nothing wrong with your daughter! I'm a bit worried by this trend that if a girl doesn't have a million friends, is a bit shy or quirky, still plays with toys then there's something wrong with her, she's autistic etc.

Most of the mums you'll be seeing in Facebook buy/and/sell groups are the chavvy botox-lipped mums who teach their daughters that your value is based on your appearance and how quickly you can get up the duff after finishing school. Theyre not representative of the average british mum in most towns.

My middle DD is 9 and while she is becoming more interested in makeup, she still loves squishmallows and barbie dolls

What does it even mean to be into skincare?

I'm a middle aged woman and my "skincare" is washing my face with soap, and putting on sunscreen if I remember. How can skincare be a hobby or an interest for a child? What's there to say about it that would take up more than 30 seconds?

My DD9 asked for a Barbie house last year and she plays with it regularly. She loves teddies etc too.

She does now ask for some toiletries and make up but more fun types, like bath bombs and glittery lip gloss. Not “grown up” make up.

Your daughter sounds completely normal.