To be annoyed at 'hope you had a great 1/2 term'

[jacketBandC]

Like most full time working parents I work most of the school holidays.
I've done it for years. I am also a lone parent. I have struggled with it. It is how it is and I get on with it.

Book club - 6 women. 3 work full or nearly full time, 2 work term-time, 1 home educating.
Every sodding school holiday we get a "phew...made it to the end of half term/term...can't wait for some time off" from one of the term-term workers.

My sister who KNOWS my situation was "Oh lucky you getting 2 weeks for 1/2 term".

I've had 2 emails from school today saying they hope I had a lovely 1/2 term.

Actually, I had one day off which was nice. The rest of it was just more juggling than usual, so nothing lovely really.

goodness OP, it must be tough to go through life being pissed off and angry at so much!

No. Right now I'm pissed off (not angry) and the assumption that everyone gets 1/2 term (and other school holidays) off. I get on with it, but don't need my face rubbed in it.

You just have to smile and nod, I'm afraid, OP. I feel the same when listening to people talking about what they did when they were furloughed from their jobs during COVID. I had to work as normal, in retail. Lots and lots of articles, books, programmes all talking about how people spent their time learning new things or doing crafts.

WE DIDN'T ALL GET TO STAY HOME ON FULL PAY.

Like I said, smile and nod. It's the only way.

Yeah, no one should enjoy half term if you can’t, ban Xmas too.

so no one can express excitement for or about something unless you are doing the same or have the same?

I didn't say no one should enjoy it. I would like that there is more awareness that not everyone has the time off.
I don't ask someone who I know works over Xmas whether they had a lovely Xmas.

start a campaign asking for more awareness of this urgent issue?

I work a full time professional services job and my kids are in before and after school clubs daily
I had half term off albeit we only have a week.
There are ways you can work flexibly to have more holidays off (I accept not all).

Let's just cancel Christmas too shall we?

I understand but it's better than hoping you had a shit half term

Eh? Don’t most people have to juggle? I work full time and usually most of half term but it’s still better because at least I’m not tied into the school run/ after school activities plus normally we do manage a few fun activities (fireworks, trick and treating). So I’d still say I enjoyed it.

Did you really not do anything nice? Is there a deeper issue here that you feel you’ve not got enough time out of work?

Plus this really is just a conversation opener, it’s perfectly acceptable just to say “yes thanks” or “yes it was fun but I worked quite a bit, just glad to have a bit of peace and quiet now the kids are back”. It’s up to you how you react to it. But don’t make people too scared to say a word to you…

If someone tells me their own 1/2 term plans I'm happy for them.
If someone says "lucky you" about my 2 week 1/2 term when they know I work regular full time office hours then I'm not happy.

I work full time and usually most of half term but it’s still better because at least I’m not tied into the school run/ after school activities plus normally we do manage a few fun activities (fireworks, trick and treating). So I’d still say I enjoyed it.

this with bells on

it's a general nicety, that's all. SIL is a teacher, I am not - every time she's off she asks most days 'are you doing something nice with the kids today?' 'nope they're fending for themselves while we work' no need to get mad about it, its no different to 'have a nice weekend'

Some people go through life actually enjoying it. Oh works away and I worked through the half term with 3 children. I still enjoyed it. I enjoyed the fact that my children enjoyed it. And I wouldn’t get offended by people making pleasantries, it’s a throwaway comment to start a conversation, it’s really not that deep

you and your sister… let me guess, not otherwise close?!

I never assume everyone is off, but I might ask whether they had a good half term, as most people will have done something nice (even if they have been working) and others might have been away/ done something interesting. I think you’re over personalising this.

We could just all stand in stony silence and ignore eachother I suppose…

OK - just me then.

A couple of the comments were from teachers in emails. I'm really not going to reply and say that in fact I was working over 1/2 term but I'm glad they had a nice time.

Yeah...maybe I'm just tired.

and didn’t half term finish up a week ago?

It’s just an amenable conversation starter. You can always just reply and say your half term was the same as usual, you don’t get the time off.

There are more important things to get worked up about than this.

maybe you need to send an email to the school suggesting they stop signing off with hope you had a good half term as insensitive parents who… didn’t

I’m a single full time co parent (not solo) but I take most of the holidays. Every half term and a couple of weeks in the summer and one of each week in between terms. Don’t you have paid holiday?

Do you seriously think that teachers don’t work in half term? I think most teachers do at least some work in half term plus they know full well that most parents work and/ or juggle. They don’t live in a 1950s bubble any more than you do! It’s just a pleasantry/ opening line.

But they're not gloating about it are they?

They are saying it was shit and they're glad it's over.

It would be different if they said 'oh half term was absolutely wonderful, I feel so sorry for people who work full time all year round, must be shit.'

The fact that they're saying it's shit and they're looking for empathy makes Yabu.

I think there's lots of areas of life we could be irritated at. I lost my mother when I was 16, I don't hate on everyone who mentions their mother because I don't have one. I have no relationship with my dad (his decision) but when anyone mentions him, I just smile and nod. My eldest son struggles in life, at nearly 30 years of age, I'd love to see him at the stage of most of the other men I know in his age group. He's not and that's that. Life gives us cruel hands in whatever perspective we live in but what is there to do? Be angry at the world ? Pick up every single item that someone else is enjoying and we are not?

Life is obviously very difficult for you atm OP, you are a lone parent, working full time. It's hard, you are ,what I would call "in the trenches". You are doing it all, trying to be everything to everyone. There's no doubt some days you're entitled to feel fed up. Equally on the other side of the coin, we can't take common phrases out just incase it offends you....."hope you had a lovely half term" is just a generic greeting in a school letter. I may be having the worst day ever but I don't snap at the man behind the till in Tesco when he says to me "have a good evening ". It's just generic pleasantries.

I feel for you OP, you ate obviously having a hard time atm. I don't think anyone is purposely setting out to upset you. Friends are just sharing an emotion, schools are just passing pleasantries.

It’s not just you my friend gets really narky about this. I’ve learnt to keep my gob shut lest I imply that she’s any less than the busiest person in the world and other people who don’t work full time can’t possibly be as over worked, stressed and in need of a break as she is 🙄