To be annoyed at 'hope you had a great 1/2 term'

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Like most full time working parents I work most of the school holidays.
I've done it for years. I am also a lone parent. I have struggled with it. It is how it is and I get on with it.

Book club - 6 women. 3 work full or nearly full time, 2 work term-time, 1 home educating.
Every sodding school holiday we get a "phew...made it to the end of half term/term...can't wait for some time off" from one of the term-term workers.

My sister who KNOWS my situation was "Oh lucky you getting 2 weeks for 1/2 term".

I've had 2 emails from school today saying they hope I had a lovely 1/2 term.

Actually, I had one day off which was nice. The rest of it was just more juggling than usual, so nothing lovely really.

Why are people thinking you have 2 weeks off at half term if you work full time? You’re making it sound like you dont have 2 weeks off, so… confused.

Surely it’s just conversation I’m in work today lots of did you have a nice weekend? Actually my aunt ( 89 and had been in poor health so wasn’t unexpected) died at the weekend, but to people I don’t really know that well I just say it was fine thanks. I didn’t go off on one saying how dare people assume that other people have had a nice weekend when I didn’t. A couple of colleagues I am close to I told that I had lost my aunt and they said sorry to hear that and we all got on with our day YABU. By the way my son works Christmas night ( volunteers as extra pay) and he still enjoys Christmas.

My DD is an adult now but I really empathise with the OP; I was/am a completely sole parent and half terms and holidays, aside from the days I took off, were a real juggle and spreadsheet exercise of which days, where and with whom. And half term camps were very expensive!

However - in the same sort of way, when people tell me I "deserve a strong drink" after a long day, I smile and agree rather than telling them how long I've been in AA ....

that’s a good point

That's my point. I accept I get paid less because I chose to have time instead of money. I am happy with that choice and don't think I need to not mention my half terms etc because of it. Op has money instead of time. Different choice, just as valid but yes half terms are going to be a different experience (and not necessarily more enjoyable either way).

You are massively overthinking this. It’s just a polite turn of phrase, like hope you had a lovely Christmas. Some people work over Christmas, some people are on their own with no family etc.

If we all went around not saying phrases like that in case some people didn’t have a nice half term/Christmas/whatever it’d be a bit sad.

Also I really don’t think these teachers are hoping you, specifically, had a good half term, specifically. They hope the week or 2 that was half term for their students, were smooth sailing, whether you were working or otherwise. It’s just a pleasantry.

YANBU. I’m currently a term time worker and I’m always very mindful of not doing this to people! I might ask them whether they got a break at half term, but it always feels very self-centred to assume everyone did. The ones at book club sound lacking in empathy... School email, fair enough though!

Yes I'm confused too. Did you have 2 weeks off or not OP?

I think people generally just mean “hope the time when your child was off school was good”- they’re not assuming everyone gets the time off.

It's just small talk. So to those I know we'll I say "omg, we survived half term. Bit crap wasn't it." In polite company and those I don't know I say "hope you had a lovely half term". It's basically weather chit chat. Don't read into it. And yes, I work full-time and juggle 2 school children, one who's autistic and a 1 year old. Yes, it is pretty shitty a lot of the time and I still say I've had a lovely half term if someone makes polite chit-chat with me. It's fine.

Wow. Give the OP a break.

Are you going for the highest number of posts on a thread record

Here. Have a

Oh, get over yourself. 'Hope you had a lovely half-term' isn't implying that people think you had a week off. It's literally just a casual, non-specific pleasantry and literally no other working parent I've ever met gets offended by it. People can't be expected to know which of their many family and friends does/doesn't find half-term stressful and tailor their conversation appropriately, ffs.

FWIW I've worked over Christmas before and have never been even remotely annoyed or bitter when someone's said 'Hope you had a lovely Christmas' because it's really not a big deal.

I say "Hope you had a nice half term" even though I think we have only been away in October half term once. I did take a couple of days off this time but that was it.

For me, particularly having one of DDs being a school refuser, half terms and end of term breaks, even if I was going to work the whole time, still felt like a break, as I'm not doing any school related stuff during that time, and I could just go to work unencumbered with all the usual school-related worry.

Careful now - I'm pretty sure I read a thread on here recently saying "hope you are well" is far too personal and prying into the recipient's personal medical details 🙄

I tell people at call centres "hope you have a lovely rest of the day" and I don't mean "of course I assume you're going home the minute you get off this call" at all, I just hope the rest of their day is not shit, as some customers are dickheads. Pleasantries are just... pleasantries. They're wishing you well. Regardless of what you are doing with your time.

I mean surely most people have work during school holidays and have to juggle it all somehow !! It’s not easy but I couldn’t give a shit if someone says hope you had a nice half term

No I took one day off. The person who said it forgot I wasn't off like her.

Are they meaning did the children have a nice half term?

Exactly, I wished the Tesco delivery man a nice day at the weekend- even if he is doing deliveries all day, some days are better than others and I mean I hope it goes well!

I think you are overthinking it and probably need a break. I'm also a single parent working full time so a fair chunk of half term us letting DD watch tv while I work with the odd day off but even then I still see it as a break as the morning rush to get ready and get to school is gone so it's less stressful and we try and do something nice on my days off

It's an empty platitude. Not that deep. Much like, 'you alright?" People don't actually care.

I do have money yes. I have been solely responsible for raising 2 sons for many years. I have a profession which means I was able to buy my ex out of the family home. My savings were wiped. I have chosen security and being able to provide for my sons over time.

It's on whatsapp.