To be annoyed at 'hope you had a great 1/2 term'

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Like most full time working parents I work most of the school holidays.
I've done it for years. I am also a lone parent. I have struggled with it. It is how it is and I get on with it.

Book club - 6 women. 3 work full or nearly full time, 2 work term-time, 1 home educating.
Every sodding school holiday we get a "phew...made it to the end of half term/term...can't wait for some time off" from one of the term-term workers.

My sister who KNOWS my situation was "Oh lucky you getting 2 weeks for 1/2 term".

I've had 2 emails from school today saying they hope I had a lovely 1/2 term.

Actually, I had one day off which was nice. The rest of it was just more juggling than usual, so nothing lovely really.

This reads like you did take October off? I am confused!

But yes, it's just a making conversation comment really.

No she's saying these are all the holidays she would need to cover with AL to have all these holidays off. Then she says at the bottom that she doesn't have the AL to cover all these.

I think in the cold light of day, you’d realise you’re being a bit daft, but your reaction suggests your bucket is very full. Can you think of ways of making holes in it, so that innocuous comments don’t enrage you? Xx

I think the issue here is you’re a bit stressed out and feeling overwhelmed. I know I get annoyed at irrational stuff when I feel the same.

Enquiring about half term is just a general conversation piece with someone with kids when it’s just been a school holiday. I am a lone parent too and work full time so my answer to that was when asked was ‘I had x day off and we did x but was working the rest’ or ‘I didn’t have any time off work this holiday x went to x instead’

Schools and other people aren’t going to keep a list as to the parents who do and don’t have time off work.

Ah yes sorry I was clearly half awake this morning!

I’m fulltime and as you say can’t possibly take a week off every holidays. It is still easier than school though - no homework no checking their bags and getting uniforms and packing for swimming, no basketball training, weekends often don’t have basketball or football, so have more free time, no rushing them to bed so they get enough sleep, no diving out the door to get to childcare for the youngest and back in time for school on time so overall it feels much more relaxed.

I don't work, I'm a full time mum with a 7 week old baby boy and a 3 year old daughter. And I'm telling you now my 1/2 term was hurrendus. My daughter played up since she turned 2 and as much as I love my children to bits this is the first time I couldn't wait to wave her back off to school. Your not been unreasonable, everyone's 1/2 terms are different and I bet a lot of people's are worse than they say. Me myself I'm not on social media but I can guarantee everyone will just brag and put things on there when really it's a completely different holiday compared to there posts!

I was a single mum working shifts till 10/11pm some nights so, some weeks, once I'd dropped my daughter at school on a Wednesday morning, I wouldn't see her again till Sunday night. She was at my mums/her dad's.

Do I get to be mad too?

Don't be soft. It's guff, but it's part of life. I'd certainly not be grumpy at other people for wishing me a happy half term. Focus your energy elsewhere.

I’m with you. People who aren’t teachers don’t ’break up’ and generally they’re on annual leave if they take time off. If you’re working whilst kids are on their interminable holidays, there might be some benefit to not having to get them out of the door, or there might be a whole load of new problems. I say this as someone who worked in education and used to get 8 weeks off - much more than your bog standard entitlement, but about half of a school holiday calendar.

Too miserable for MN, must have set a record!

I get what you're saying, I work FT too- but you sound quite miserable and stressed tbh!

I had 2 days off for HT, DH took 1 day, DC with DGP the other 2 days. So yeah we didn't get much time off but it's still a break from the routine and DC had a nice week off.

I don't think people do assume all parents have all school holidays off really, that's not my experience anyway.
I would still ask another parent who I knew worked if they'd had a nice half term,
It's just conversation isn't it

I think people just say things without thinking. I recently cheerily said to someone " have a nice weekend" forgetting they work weekends.

I had one day off during half term too, but I still had a good half term. We managed to squeeze in getting away for the weekend. I've also worked christmas day in the past and again, don't have a problem with being asked if I had a nice Christmas.

The problem of covering children's school holidays with 20 odd days annual leave absolutely sucks though.

You could always train as a teacher?

But you can work over Christmas and still have a lovely time.
Many people get this, but as others have said, you nod and smile. Or not, up to you really.

To make a song and dance about it isn't going to change anything.

It's the same as "have a nice day"..... doesn't call for people to explain why they won't actually be having a nice day.

Most say it without thinking and certainly not to offend.

I understand this.. I have been rostered to work 25th, 26th and 27th Dec this year… will be having my Xmas day with the kids on 24th. Feel a bit hard done by and jealous of those that get a long break over Christmas. Will just try and make the most of the 24th 🙁

It's just something people say to sound friendly! After every holiday when I see someone or send a text etc.. I say something like 'hope you had a nice half term/summer/Christmas/Easter...'.

I'm a working mum and work all my holidays usually, but I'd never have thought to be annoyed with someone asking if I enjoyed the holiday! I do have children and even though I work, I do try and give them a good holiday! Sometimes I might get a day or more of leave in a half term, we might do fun stuff on the weekends at either end of a half term etc... it's nice not to have the school run even if we do end up with holiday club runs or whatever! and to have happy children around who are off school! But even if the whole holiday has been miserable I still wouldnt feel pissed off with someone saying 'hope you had a nice ...' it's just friendly!

You sound a bit miserable to be around to be honest! And a bit of a grump

Eh? Why on earth not? They can still enjoy Christmas, even if they had to work a bit on Christmas day! I think you're bonkers!

You sound a bit miserable to be around to be honest! And a bit of a grump

Yes, many people here have told me as much. I get it. Joining in with the chorus cements it further.

I think a lot of people say they hope you had a good half term isn't necessarily based on the assumption you had time off of work. I love knowing my girls, have had different experiences (say, a day at a, dance workshop, or first sleepover with friends), I enjoy not having the dreading hour round trip for the school run in the morning, not having the pressure of juggling clubs, homework, exams, endless life - min! And, like you, I usually have a day off, that's still one day extra than normal and I look forward to it! And the kids are usually around one day that I am working from home, and it's nice to just see them more, hear them giggling! even if I'm not playing with them.

Maybe it is your resentment that you can't have the time off that is creating such intense feelings at the comments?

Christ you can’t say anything these days can you. I’ll remember to not say have a nice weekend to anyone in case they’re not got be having a nice weekend and best not even say have a nice Christmas they could be a Jew or they maybe don’t like turkey or something. Get a grip

Did you not go trick or treating? Do any autumn/Halloween events on the weekend? So anything on any of the evenings because the usual term time activities weren't running? Lots of areas had Halloween events etc in the evening.

Listen, I get your frustration, but everyone has them for conflicting reasons. I work term time, but that means I can't take any leave off during term time. Which means I can't go to any of my own children's school events, I can't have any holidays outside of term time, and I can never have a day of annual leave while my children aren't also off, so I never get a child free break.

You could answer honestly?

I am a parent myself and understand the childcare struggles, but often say this to make conversation and am honestly open to responses of - no, it was shit.

Wow, the Snippy McSnippyFace family are out in force on this thread!

I find it annoying! I actually get time with my child though - I am full time stay at home and I home educate my 5yo.

it does get a bit annoying that people assume I am glad to send him back to school and no, half term isn’t enjoyable as most home Ed meets stop because it’s too busy and we can’t enjoy a day out nearly as much, play parks are full, too is full and we like calm, and there are queues all over and prices go up. Often friends with children at school are away.

So while I am lucky to not miss time with my son working, school holidays are harder and less fun. A random man at the beach during summer said only 3 and a half weeks to go and I said more like 15 years we are doing home Ed. He got it, we were both having a tough day and yes even those of us like me who choose to home school full time sometimes think a school day off yay please (until reality like school run and child burn out is considered).

I knew you’d get grief OP but I agree with you. I used to find it jarring when I worked OOTH when school holidays were a massive headache.

It really isn’t difficult to frame a conversation starter in a more thoughtful, less presumptuous way. How was your week? Did you get through half term in one piece? There’s something about ‘Did you have a nice…?’ which is so bloody twee and jarring when you haven’t had any time off. Now that I do tend to be home during the holidays, I’m mindful when I ask others. I always think about what they are likely to have been doing before I ask the question, which is just basic empathy really.