AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

[MumofHennHals]

My mother in law ( mother of the groom ) has sent me a picture of the dress she ordered today, asking for 'honest opinion on if it's appropriate'

However when I gave honest opinion, she didn't like it and is rejecting anything I say.

We are getting married in August, in Spain... the very is a very citrus sevillian orange feel...

I've decorated it with bright orange flowers, grape fruits, my bridesmaids are a creamy yellow, my husband to be will be in beige as will his groomsmen, my father and his father.

His mum has decided to wear a black dress, similar shape to mine WITH A TRAIN!!!!!!!

Am I wrong in saying 'can we keep it a little more summery, light and shaped less BRIDAL?'

I don't mind what other guests wear but she will be in a lot of the family group official photos, I've put a lot of thought in my wedding colour palette to want the photos to be vibrant.

I know MN hates wedding talk and I'll probably be slagged off - but hey ho, ultimately AIBU? I'm so chilled in every other wedding aspect.

I'm very laidback about wedding attire and was prepared to disagree with you, but, this is pretty gaspworthy - both the style and the colour are very dramatic! YANBU

My MIL wore black. And had sunglasses on for all outdoor photos. She hated me.

Edited because I replied to wrong post. Phone is being juddery.

Takes me back to when my cousin wore her fucking wedding dress to my wedding.

Anyway OP what is she doing? Is she in mourning or something. No that is not mother of the groom at all, that's some oedipal weirdness going on.

I agree with previous poster if the klaxon hasn't gone off in at the DM it will very soon..
Reader asks if MIL is unreasonable to come to her wedding dressed as Morticia Adams...

Wow, that's quite a dress. Before the photo I was expecting a Audrey Hepburn Breakfast at Tiffany's frock ( which would look amazing). Has she got the wrong end of the stick? Does your OH have a sister who could have a gentle word?

Where is this from please??? (It’s seriously stunning!)

I also think this would look fab amongst oranges and yellows etc!!!

Sounds like she's seen a fabulously glam MotG in black - which would be fine if a black tie wedding and not in the Med - and she's trying to emulate.

I'd leave her crack on - she will look like a dick but so be it. The only photo I've framed is just of me and my DH so I could never worry about a 'colour palette' of people I can't control.

The problem is that it's an actual wedding dress and is in the same style as the OP's. From that point of view, it's not appropriate at all.

What did she wear to her other son's wedding?

@janeavrilavril @Grammarnut
you really wouldn’t be even slightly bothered by this dress, bought to resemble the brides wedding dress?

That’s why the OP’s so unhappy about it!!! MOG is going to pull focus in the photos.

Yup. A black wedding dress to her son's wedding? Oh boy...

She'll absolutely bake in a long, tight, black dress during August is Spain. Just thinking about it'd make you break out into a sweat.

Stunning dress though.

Ask her if she wouldn't mind sticking to the theme, (which sounds lovely), & maybe help her to choose something

Your wedding sounds delicious, like the concept for a fruit pastels commercial. I laughed out loud seeing you MIL’s dress, I mean for everyone saying you can’t dictate what people wear, there has to be some bloody self awareness from people, she’s gonna look like a bellend, everyone will think it, just make sure the photographer gets lots of photos without her for your album and walls.

My aunts mother in law in the late 1970s attended her and my uncles wedding looking like lady muck. I laughed when me and my aunt were looking through photos after my mum died. It was a green ensemble, with a pointy green hat and fur stole. My mum apparently kept saying “where’s Robin fucking hood gone now?” 😂

Could you suggest something glamorous but more in keeping with the theme?

I don't understand all the uppity comments about dress code / colour pallette.
OP i presumably spending thousands, if not tens of thousands, on a once in the lifetime event where a professional photographer will be documenting it.
Of course the wedding party all looking cohesive is important!

It’s a stunning dress for a formal, evening event, or Winter ball, it’s a terrible dress for a wedding. Black completely inappropriate, and the style too like a bridesmaid in any other colour.

If she like the full length evening look, would something along these lines work for you both?

My MIL wore black to our wedding, she was definitely mourning the loss of her son 😂

It was a linen suit and looked really crumpled and disheveled, I think it was a statement on what she thought of our marriage.

I'd just tell her one or a combination of the following:

(1) I hope you're joking, that dress is a hot mess for an outdoor wedding
(2) Of course you can wear whatever you want, but you must be prepared for the backlash you'll get
(3) That's a striking gown for a formal ball - an outdoor wedding in Spain not so much
(4) My honest opinion? You'd make a spectacle of yourself and not in a good way. I don't want that for you.
(5) hahaha!! for real?

Oh please. While the dress is ott if the mil likes it then so what. 'Colour palettes' and dress codes sound absolutely batshit. Photographer documenting it? Do you mean photographer taking a few pics?

Yes the bridesmaids and groomsmen will all match but guests should wear what they like. People may raise their eyebrows at what looks like an evening dress for a summer wedding but meh.

Oh dear OP I do have to agree with you on this one, I think she’ll look totally weird in that dress it’s a very bad choice. I hope you can steer her towards something more suitable.

I really think that the OP's fiancé should be asking his mother why on earth she thinks it appropriate to wear a black wedding dress to his wedding.

The MIL has deliberately selected a dress similar to the OP's. To make matters worse, the dress is actually marketed as a wedding dress. There's something far wrong with the MIL's thinking.