To regret having my baby

[scotchpancake]

I have a 5 week old baby who cries all the time and neither me or dh are coping with it.
We've been to the doctor and been told it's colic otherwise know as purple crying and there's nothing wrong and it will get better by about 20 weeks. he's only 5 and has been like this from week 1.
I honestly don't know how we will get through this.
All the time he's awake he just constantly cries and nothing with console him.
We try and stay strong but we're both so tired we end up snapping at each other.
I'm home all day and am exhausted.
I just keep thinking what have we done and how and on earth are we going to find the strength to get through it.
It's all day and all night.

My dc was like this. She has acid indigestion and into wish I had pushed for treatment for it earlier. Colic is a bollocks answer given when they don’t know what it is. My dc had hiccups constantly in womb.

I would try all colic remedies available to see if any help. Back in the day, this included: gripe water, infacol, anti-colic bottles if you’re using formula.

He also had hiccups all the time in the womb and still does.

Mine was like this, turned out to be silent reflux. We got referred to paediatrics. We also went to a cranial osteopath. Sending you a big virtual hug, it’s really tough but it will get better.

Are you bf? I only ask because it was nigh on impossible to get baby gaviscon into dd because she was breast fed.

DD was like this and the GP and HV tried to fob me off saying it was colic. Turned out she has severe reflux and ended up on two medications prescribed by a paediatrician.

Honestly, please try and get baby gaviscon to see if it helps.

Babies are awful. Fortunately, they grow into little kids who are quite awesome.

I remember feeling like this with my first, she screamed all the time and didn't sleep, we were broken tbh.

For us it was silent reflux, have you read about that? It has quite specific symptoms but it can be a bit of a battle with the GP sometimes. The meds helped pretty much instantly.

Good luck. Hang on in there, it's just one foot in front of the other and then things will get better.

I'm sorry you have one of these types of babies. All babies are hard, but some really are harder. You've survived 5 weeks, and it does get better. Slowly.

It sounds like the doctor hasn't been that helpful in terms of not exploring other explanations, such as cows milk protein allergy. Are there any other symptoms? Other posters who've had wah-bucket babies will have other things to suggest too. (I had an easy one, but I didn't want to leave you without any replies.)

What help have you got available? Is there anyone who can do a few hours of baby holding while you and your partner get some rest. And remember - if you ever fear you might shake or hurt your baby, put them down in a safe place (cot, crib, pram outside the back door) and give your ears and sanity a break. Crying untended for a short time while your restore won't cause harm. Tipping yourself over the edge can. I might have had an easy baby, but I still had to do it a few times.

Hang in there. This will pass.

You’ll get through it.

Oh OP, sending you a massive hug.
I have been in your position and it’s hard.
Id say ignore the 20 weeks entirely, take this week by week lots can change.
The only way I coped was tag teaming with my OH. Even if what we could cope with solo is only a few hours some days, it gave us space away. So he used to take DD for a few hours when he got home until he needed a breather then I’d take back over etc. Do you have any family you could call upon on the bad days atleast?
Headphones, could still hear the screaming obviously but it gave me another focus. I just used to put on serene music (sounds insane now) but when your baby is purple crying endlessly it helped me remember to breathe.
A sling, dancing around to music helped in the daytimes.
This is a tough time, it won’t be forever and it’s ok to walk away when you need to. Xx

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. I found having a very young baby vv hard and it seemed like that period (of crying and not sleeping) would never end. But I do think it gets a little easier from 6-8 weeks. Have you any future midwife or health visitor appointments coming up? I would be really honest with them as there may be some support they can offer. Or I would go back to the Dr's and ask for further tests into reflux etc.

Hang on in there - it will get easier.

So we had this it was CMPA (cows milk protein allergy) and silent reflux for us.... HV may be able to help (I went to a&e in loxkdown to get us some help as no-one would see us at all and paediatrician diagnosed CMPA straight away and within a week she was much more settled) ..

BF or FF?

Has baby been assessed for tongue tie?
Has anyone observed baby feeding / checked latch if BF?

If FF which milk?
consider CMPA

Reflux can also cause pain and intense crying. Some babies also struggle with their digestive system as it can feel strange and sometimes hurt as it works and they get gas pain or pain where they need the toilet but can’t coordinate enough to push to empty their bowels

Are nappies mucousy or bloody ?

Find someone who does sacral cranial on babies.

It transformed my baby. If you’ve to travel a few hours to get to one, just do it. You won’t regret.

My first was like this too, it's so tough - even making it through those first 5 weeks is such an achievement. In a week or so you'll start getting proper smiles and while that didn't fix everything, I did find it made a difference as I was finally getting something back for all the hard work.

Ours was later identified as having a dairy allergy which with hindsight I think was the cause of his colic - he was having a bottle of formula a day alongside breast milk and when I stopped that (for no reason other than that by then breastfeeding was easier), within a few weeks he was like a different baby. I put it down to age but I think the dairy contributed too - so that might be worth investigating?

Sending you hugs. Having kids are not for the faint hearted. I'd get back to the doctors though you can't live like that and baby will be uncomfortable too. It sounds like some sort of stomach issues. Xx

Things will get better OP I promise, you’re in the trenches right now and it feels like it will always be like this but it won’t x

My little one had silent reflux and we were looking at a cranial osteopath as I have heard great things but my little one got better before we booked.
If you are bottle feeding baby a friend recommended Kendamil Goats Milk and it really settled her ( I was mix feeding) she had really bad constipation and it worked wonders for that also. It is quite pricey I think £22 a tub but it really did help.

Get back on to your GP and health visitor they should give you some more support and advice be pushy if you need to be.

You’re doing your best, sleep deprivation is torture but I will be a distant memory one day, lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

Is there anyone who can do a few hours of baby holding while you and your partner get some rest

I was just going to ask the same. My friends DGC had colic and we used to take it in turns to go round and hold the baby or take him for a walk in his pram to let mum and dad have a sleep.

I promise you it gets way way WAY better. Sleep in shifts so you both get some sleep. I used to sleep 7pm-midnight husband would sleep midnight till 6am. Sleep whenever you can, forget about getting any cleaning done etc. you only have to get through this and normality does return (mine did last longer than 20wks but hopefully yours won’t). I enjoyed baby playgroups too and seeing other mums helped me but not for everyone x

No he's formula fed and he has been prescribed gaviscon but not noticed any difference.

I find colic a bollox answer too. There are solutions.

Have you done a CMPA trial?

This.

hang in there OP, you’re in the trenches right now but it does get easier, and quicker than you think.

We had this too. It was utterly horrendous. Now he is an amazing 6 yesr old and I love him more than anything. I do sympathise - it was utter hell. I tried EVERYTHING and almost lost my mind but eventually he did just get older and easier.

I really wish I had pushed for baby omeprazole but I dont know if it will still be prescribed. Worth an ask I think.