To regret having my baby

[scotchpancake]

I have a 5 week old baby who cries all the time and neither me or dh are coping with it.
We've been to the doctor and been told it's colic otherwise know as purple crying and there's nothing wrong and it will get better by about 20 weeks. he's only 5 and has been like this from week 1.
I honestly don't know how we will get through this.
All the time he's awake he just constantly cries and nothing with console him.
We try and stay strong but we're both so tired we end up snapping at each other.
I'm home all day and am exhausted.
I just keep thinking what have we done and how and on earth are we going to find the strength to get through it.
It's all day and all night.

Oh and I took him to cranial osteopath as well. I don’t know if it helped or if he just got older/ we figured out the allergies, but it made me feel like I was doing something about it and I felt listened to when they talked about the birth and how he was etc. We took him to a pay what you can place where they trained students.

Sorry this is happening. It's just awful having a crying baby. Have you tried a sling so he is upright?
Also elevating the top of the cot so he is not lying flat?

Your GP can write you a prescription, worth a try.

I really feel your pain here op. My 3rd child was like this. We had no sleep and she also kept my other 2 awake. Please try baby Gaviscon,
it is really really hard and right now your in the thick of it. The only thing I can suggest is ear plugs and take it in shifts. I promise it gets easier

My friends little boy was similar, constantly unsettled, cried constantly but was gaining weight….the GP eventually agreed to try dairy free formula when my friend was at the end of her rope with him
and he was like a new baby, turns out he had CMPA. Also have another friend who ended up paying private to see a paediatrician, turned out she was CMPA and acid reflux.

Mine screamed all the bloody time. Turned out she had silent reflux and cmpa. Gavisocn doesn't work for a lot of babies - made zero difference to mine. It was ranitindine (no longer given to babies) and omeprazole that worked for my dd. And me giving up cows milk and prescription formula (combi fed). You mentioned you can only get formula on prescription, that's not strictly true, but it is ridiculously expensive.

I'm so sorry you are going through this op. Is there anyone can have baby for a few hours to give you both a break

Same here, was CMPA!

you could ask gp for omeprazole, it works better for reflux than gaviscon and it’s less constipating.

Another vote for silent reflux. DS1 was just like this. The GP kept fibbing us off, but I pushed and pushed. We ended up in a&e because he screamed so hard and for so long his throat bled. The paediatrician there immediately diagnosed cmpi and silent reflux and prescribed Nutramigen milk, domperidone and ranitidine. Within three days he was a different baby.

There will have been 50 posts from after the first 10 replies I read to now. So, sorry!

BUT a newborn can be hell-on-a-stick. It's relentless. The endless screaming that you CANNOT FIX. It bores into your very being. You were told how joyful giving birth would be, followed by the euphoria of a newborn, as you 'nested'. Yeah, right.

Instead you're faced with the reality of this incessant noise, this beast, upending everything. You feel you've failed because this isn't what you expected, and, you're failing this baby because OBVIOUSLY it's in terrible, terrible pain which YOU MUST FIX.

Been there, got the T shirt.

An unsettled, unsettlable baby is the pits. It's exhausting. It's soul destroying. You feel like such a failure, and boy, do you resent the cause of all of this....

But understand, you may never 'sort it's (isn't that what we're supposed to do??). But it will change. Not always necessarily for the better, every time. But the trajectory will be better.

Night by night, you'll find ways; the baby will settle, new routines will fall into place. You'll manage.

Ftr, my eldest's first year was the worst year of my life. It really was.

He's now 25 and a brilliant human.

But I acknowledge your pain.

It's shit.

Hold on in there, it does get better.

We coped by having shifts with our baby. My DH had to use loads of A/L because I couldn't get baby to sleep in any container. We didn't see each other much in the early weeks.

A cranial osteopath would be a brilliant idea, they can have all kinds of issues after birth. Keep pushing with your HV to try all avenues with everything else health related.

Oh, I smiled at this! In our local mall there was a department store that had carpeted areas and tiles. The 'firmness' with which I had to push DS1's pram over the bumpy dividing strip to and fro makes me smile now, but if I stopped!... 😳 And if he fell asleep in the car, I'd drive MILES so he'd stay asleep, Traffic lights? I'd ride the clutch, to and fro. Jolt, jolt.

People with -ahem' 'easy' babies have no idea.

Even now, 25 years later, if DH picks up our reluctant cat, he'll jiggle him up and down. It's a residual from coping with a 'challenging' baby. I have to remind him to stop. 🤭

Mine was like this and it turns out it was a milk allergy. Once he switched to dairy free formula (Neocate) he was like a different baby

My baby, now 6 months was colic around 9 weeks onwards. It's horrible... but I tried fennel tea and it seemed to help. It's known to help with colic and many other things and no harm even though midwives will say don't give anything other than milk. I used the colostrum collecting syringes and gave 1 ml here and there.

Might be worth a try.

I feel you and it will get better!

I was given this BS too. Turned out not to be an allergy but a sensitivity. Switched to non-dairy milk and had improvement in less than a week.

Mine cried all the time (as did I) and it turned out to be allergies. Do investigate CMPA.

I'd say reflux and I'd ask Gp for omoprezole and maybe try a cranial expert if you can afford it, also maybe put a pillow underneath the cot mattress to tilt the baby up, I suffer with reflux still as an adult it is really horrible and can really burn your throat.
Please go to your Gp and push for me help, I'm not exaggerating it is really uncomfortable and crying is the baby's way of telling you they need help.

Forgot to say I was also diagnosed as dairy intolerant as an adult.

I feel your pain.

My baby is 1.5 weeks old, and I am struggling. It’s so much harder than I ever anticipated, and I am DREADING when DP goes back to work. I’m exhausted, and trying to recover from a C Section. I dread the night time. The night seems to last forever. I would love to sleep for more than a few hours. People keep saying it will get better, but it just seems like endless torture right now.

You are not alone.

Do you use a dummy ? Can you put baby in sling round the house ?
Loud white noise anytime he's due a nap
Do you bottle feed? Any grandparents willing to help / take baby for a walk for an hour

The only thing that would stop my DD crying was putting her in her car seat and driving around until she fell asleep. Do you have anyone who can take your baby out for a walk in her pram to give you a break?

Also take to osteopath asap I'd be pretty confident that will improve things

Can you try an osteopath? It’s really hard to cope with the constant crying, so I send my sympathies to you. Pop baby in their cot / safe space and take 5 mins if you need to. Maybe take some walks every day, and remember this really doesn’t last forever, even though it might feel like right now.