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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My owner won't let me eat birds anymore

360 replies

AHungryCat · 10/11/2024 17:59

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
Zyq · 10/11/2024 20:54

I managed to hook one of those gold coloured things out of the pond in the garden, it was yummy. Also there was loads of added entertainment watching how my slave's slave got excited about it.

2boyzNosleep · 10/11/2024 21:04

Hmm, I once had a similar problem.

I was homed to a family that were very easy to manipulate. The purpose was to keep my owners father company after he could no longer do what humans call 'work'following an serious illness. He thought he was the man of the house, a 'strong' human. I had him wrapped around my claws within 5 minutes of entering my new home.

One day, I decided to demonstrate my hunting skills to him. As he gazed through the patio windows, I caught a blackbird. I proceeded to eat the entire thing, including claws and feathers. I have to admit, I left the beak.
To my astonishment, the human had the audacity to throw up, and refused my entry back into the house for a few hours until they were sure I wasn't going to vomit (I did) or shit everywhere.

After that episode, I decided I would 'gifts them some birds, but they were rejected. There was 'the talk' amongst the slaves of collars and bells.

So I realised I had to then start threatening them. First, I Brough in a bird that was still alive. It couldn't fly but flapped around in fear downstairs.

I then had the collar with bell put on. I ripped it off once I got outside. That night I patrolled high and low. I found my next gift, a rotten bird carcass, gently left on one of my owners pillows whilst they slept, meowing and purring happily when they woke up.

They soon realised that they could not stop me and they then worshipped me again after I started attacking the local dogs.

JudgementalRaccoon · 10/11/2024 21:05

I used to leave mouse guts on the bathroom floor for my human slave to stand on in the night when they went for a wee. I have to confess though that now I am older, I can’t catch mice any more. I have to make do with worms which I then hide under the edge of the rug so that they’re nice and shrivelled up when the slave lifts the rug to clean.

gmgnts · 10/11/2024 21:05

Some great revenge tips here. I'm only just getting over being dressed up in a witch costume for Halloween and dreading the Santa suit coming out.

Breadcat24 · 10/11/2024 21:06

sorry to admit it guys but birds scare the shit out of me - flap and tweet it is horrid!
can I still hold my head up high if I attack plastic bags?

K0OLA1D · 10/11/2024 21:08

Breadcat24 · 10/11/2024 21:06

sorry to admit it guys but birds scare the shit out of me - flap and tweet it is horrid!
can I still hold my head up high if I attack plastic bags?

Have you ever got your head caught in a plastic bag handle???? Scariest experience of my 9 lives. The only way to get out of its deathly grip was to lose all rational thought and bomb round the house into every room knocking every breakable item my slave owned until it released me from it's clutches.

SimpleThings101 · 10/11/2024 21:10

gmgnts · 10/11/2024 21:05

Some great revenge tips here. I'm only just getting over being dressed up in a witch costume for Halloween and dreading the Santa suit coming out.

.

AHungryCat · 10/11/2024 21:12

lasagnelle · 10/11/2024 18:50

Good you need to give them a chance you and your ilk have killed about 50 MILLION in a year.

Edited

yet they keep coming back for my dessert!

OP posts:
AHungryCat · 10/11/2024 21:16

dapsnotplimsolls · 10/11/2024 20:17

Jeffrey doesn't have a leg to stand on with a name like that.

Despite his urbane name, Jeffrey and I are vying for control of our patch
I think some dead bodies might help my case

OP posts:
AxolotlEars · 10/11/2024 21:17

JMSA · 10/11/2024 18:07

Is a bird to a cat like the chicken to a Mumsnetter?
How many meals do you get out of it?

Only one....I'm plainly just greedy!

AInightingale · 10/11/2024 21:17

You lot need to up your game. Mess with their heads a bit. A magpie's head on the hearthrug on Friday the 13th was my greatest triumph.

AlteredStater · 10/11/2024 21:21

takes over AlteredStater's keyboard

Oh I hear you, my slave had 'the conversation' with me - or several on that subject. My brother endured the same thing. His solution was to still carry on killing things but pile them up in the garden so no-one could be entirely sure who put them there. Worked a treat as my mother got the blame! 😇But I am far too lazy to make neat piles, I like to bring mine home and play with them.

What is this 'LTB' by the way? Lick the Birdie? Yes I like that.

mammamia17 · 10/11/2024 21:24

Oh I remember another good one. The male household help had annoyed me so I pooped in his gym bag, which he had obligingly already packed but not closed. He rushed off in the morning zipped up his gym bag and headed off to work. Lunch time went to the gym. Well there seemed to be a lot of shouting from what I could hear over the phone. Something about cat chop suey so I left for the night. Best safe than sorry.

WiseOldPusscat · 10/11/2024 21:32

gmgnts · 10/11/2024 21:05

Some great revenge tips here. I'm only just getting over being dressed up in a witch costume for Halloween and dreading the Santa suit coming out.

I suggest you start sharpening your canines and practice your nipping now!

murasaki · 10/11/2024 21:36

I was very unimpressed when my slave had a guest to stay. So I sat on his rucksack, looked back at him over my shoulder, and pissed mightily.

For some reason she found that funny. He now lives here but doesn't keep his bag on the floor. Should I shit in his shoes?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 10/11/2024 21:42

@murasaki

Sweeney cat here

109% shit in his shoe. I had to piss in one of my little slaves shoes when they tried to eat my food got to show them who is boss

WeWillGetThereInTheEnd · 10/11/2024 21:49

Catch a mouse. Play with it for a bit. When you are bored, let it go to run around in their house for a few weeks! Catch it again and leave the liver on the landing one night - so they walk on it with their bare feet!

They’ll soon realise you eating birds is much preferable.

Asuitablecat · 10/11/2024 21:50

Cats can’t help their natural hunting instincts, and they will kill anything they can catch.

I actually find all that running about and jumping rather undignified. I mean just because we are 'made for it' doesn't mean we have to do it, no? I mean, my ancestors used to drink from puddles. I prefer a well-maintained indoor fountain myself. Failing that, a gently running tap.

twentysevendresses · 10/11/2024 21:51

This is what you NEED to do...so your human realises just how grateful they should be that your usual 'modus operandi' is a straightforward KILL! 🐀

My owner won't let me eat birds anymore
AHungryCat · 10/11/2024 21:53

twentysevendresses · 10/11/2024 21:51

This is what you NEED to do...so your human realises just how grateful they should be that your usual 'modus operandi' is a straightforward KILL! 🐀

is This beauty on the apps,?

asking for Jeffrey

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 10/11/2024 21:55

SimpleThings101 · 10/11/2024 21:10

.

Mine put me in this last year.

Hmm
My owner won't let me eat birds anymore
SimpleThings101 · 10/11/2024 21:58

TheShellBeach · 10/11/2024 21:55

Mine put me in this last year.

Hmm
Cute Cat GIF by MOODMAN

that is appalling

Redwinedaze · 10/11/2024 21:59
george hamilton news GIF

Is this either adults being a bit strange and talking like 2 year olds or adults identifying as furries and being well …

TheShellBeach · 10/11/2024 22:03

And my friend got put in this

My owner won't let me eat birds anymore
SimpleThings101 · 10/11/2024 22:04

Asuitablecat · 10/11/2024 21:50

Cats can’t help their natural hunting instincts, and they will kill anything they can catch.

I actually find all that running about and jumping rather undignified. I mean just because we are 'made for it' doesn't mean we have to do it, no? I mean, my ancestors used to drink from puddles. I prefer a well-maintained indoor fountain myself. Failing that, a gently running tap.

cat toilet GIF

What about the huge bowl they keep in the small upstairs room- the one with the two lids, one with a big hole in it and one that’s solid. When the male slave leaves both up it’s really handy for a nice thirst quenching lap.