My owner won't let me eat birds anymore

[AHungryCat]

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

Late to the purrty - may have overdone the catnip last night.

I'm an indoor cat because my over anxious slave thinks I'll get run over or list, and as she thinks I'm the reincarnation of her dead DP I don't see the harm of humouring her.

It's because she took me to the pub as a kitten and apparently the pub is an important place for them, and I just thought the beer garden was specially designed soft play for moi, populated by loads of extra slaves whose attention I lapped up.

Now, your problem. It's obviously not one I've encountered myself, but according to my predecessors, bits of which she keeps on a shrine, and with whom I chat via the Meowja Board, your slave is being unreasonable because your intentions aren't evil.

Benny told me a great tail about leaving a stunned sparrow as a gift in her bedroom once which was supposed to become another pet, but sadly didn't survive the shock. Then there was the baby rat under the dressing table that had to be caught by her late DP who was naked apart from a pair of leather re-enactment gauntlets. It was 4 am and had been a gift after they returned from a 12 hour journey home from Germany. He was most miffed at the lack of appreciation.

Personally I have recently done a protest pee on her bed because she'd been out too much one week. There was much muttering about attachment disorder and separation anxiety - well she's got her own vet if that's a problem for her. Once when she came home after too much of her catnip I put her properly in her place by throwing up really quietly in her hair, on the bed and the thing she calls a chair drobe.

She once told me about a thread in here about ice cream made from shrews. I'll try and find it.

Meantime, good luck.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/4607290-can-i-make-ice-cream-from-shrews

Thank you for starting this thread, OC. Pissing myself (not in the air fryer) laughing…

I pissed on my slaves open laptop once. She first thought my mainly furless big brother had dropped his beard out on it. So they had a bit of an argument and then they sniffed it. Her fault for leaving it on the kitchen table. One day she might get it fixed. Now she guards her phone like it's a newborn kitten or something. If she leaves it on the bed unattended for a minute, I wind her up by sashaying over and around it with my tail twitching. We have to keep them on their toes, it's a kindness really.

Beard oil that should read. Damn my lack if opposable thumbs.

When I want to go outside and the slave doesn't want to open the back door, i shimmy backwards towards that cold white box with my tail wiggling. I've done it before and I'll do it again, they know that.

Open sesame!!

Fellow kitties! You are being ill treated! Where is your cat flap? If you want to be extra annoying you get the 2 legged one to accompany you to the cat flap and then wait until she opens it. You need a personal door opener, it's beneath your dignity to exit without ceremony.
Or course getting back in by yourself is fine. You don't want to freeze your bum off waiting for her. 😹

Larry has a special door opener, we all should.

Unlike dogs, cats cannot cope without eating flesh of some sort; they are carnivores so if you’re decimating the garden bird population all you are doing is what nature intended. I would ask if your owner is one of those cat owners who also feeds the birds thus providing the feline equivalent of McDonalds in the back garden.

Try loudly eating plastic bags in the middle of the night instead. After 2 nights they'll be bringing the sparrows to you on a platter.

Daisy, cat of ohcantthinkofaname here: mine even wants me to eat vegan! The horror when the vet told her that was a "no" and I am to be fed bird, fish and cow!! I thought she was going to have an cow.
Just keeping the flow going. Nothing real. She just turned 16, which is 80 in cat years. She's living her best life.

Expand your horizons. My sister brought in a frog one summer evening. Enormous fun - bounce, bounce. Then two hours later, I brought in a small bat. Great entertainment value. After that, they will be fine with birds. Promise.

No Way!

That is an abusive relationship. How dare your owner tells you what you can and can’t eat? Does your owner also expect you to be home by a certain time? Or maybe to not go see other people? Or maybe the way you look at others find disgrace?

I’d be wary of this. Soon enough they will try to get you out of the sofa too!!!

Wait? What? You eat birds? How uncouth. I much prefer to torture them to death then bring them indoors (through 2 cat flaps) and deposit them on the hall floor for the servants to deal with. That way I still have an appetite for the expensive food they provide (because I refuse to accept anything else)!

OP your slave clearly doesn’t understand how much fun hunting is. Try getting them involved. Humans are a bit crap at it so you’ll need to give them a hand.

I recently let a rat loose in my slaves’ bedroom for them to play with and it was a joy to watch them chasing it round the house in their pjs - such a lovely family bonding experience!

Standard in this situation is to position one’s anus as near as possible to one’s owners face whenever possible. It is the only satisfactory response.

When I a (large) kitten, I dragged a live large jackdaw into the last ving room. I don't know why the fur mum got so agitated.

I'm sure your owner eats more birds don't they? and there are far more wild birds that die due to humans than cats right? flying into windows for a start, loads die that way, just tell them that its nonsense and take the fucking bell off

They eat loads of birds.
Specially at this time of year.

And the ones they eat are massive in comparison to the ones we eat.

Hypocrites.

Do you eat them though? Or do you just leave half-dead birds around the place?

I call BS. No actual cat would use the term 'owner'.

Yes. They're actually proud of those giant desk fans they've built everywhere and they chop loads of birds to bits.

I read this today as Servant 1 was cleaning my litter tray (finally). It's a disgrace. Do what I do when they try it on.....pluck at the new sofa, vomit on the bottom stair so they tread on it first thing in the morning and walk it through the hall or, best of all, jump on the kitchen counter and eat the left over roast chicken. Works for me.

She probably sold her soul to the devil for a 5 pack of lick-e-lix on the understanding she humour her human with the honorific title "owner"!

Slaves need to be trained early on.

Could you refuse to eat for a day or two.
Let them buy you a variety of food.
Pretend to like it.
Then let them.spend more on it and then refuse to eat it.
Do this continuesly for a month or two.