Boyfriends kink

[Kneebonefuture]

So kind of a rude one, so I won't go into specifics. And he's not my boyfriend, he's an old fling who has been a friend for 15 years, and we were kind of thinking of getting together, but no idea how to word that.

I've always known he had a slightly kinky side, nothing mad just a little bit more adventurous than me. However he has recently revealed a kink/hobby? That i never knew about, he seemed totally ashamed and called himself a loser, a weirdo and dirty. Its really not my thing, but I don't like to judge, so just said it wasn't anything to be ashamed of and laughed it off. Hes since seemed to take that as a green light that I'm also into it. Constantly referring to it, bringing it up and fitting it into conversations that hold no relevance. And even sending photos. Should I just call things off with him, as it doesn't appear we are a match or just tell him I'm not into it, how would I even word that? Please no nasty comments, I'm a really shy and introverted person and get confused with boundary setting occasionally. Thanks 😊

🙄

Dressed as a cat?

Anything kinky is just too much hard work..

Oh goody! I do love a good conspiracy theory. 😎

I hope that you ran each post through several different AI detectors and carefully researched all the links posted just in case they were the products of the CCP (rather than Russia).

до свидания, товарищи.

I'm into kink, and I organise kink events, so my first thought reading his "shameful" argument was feeling sorry for him as someone who feels that his kink is dirty and shameful. But then seeing that he's basically trying to force that on you, an absolute no. You were open minded enough to say that it's ok (and I coach a lot of newbies who say that their kink is weird, but I've heard them all so there's not much that would surprise me, they're usually more common than they think) but it's not ok that he is trying to engage you in it. I would say that I'm not interested, and he should join Fetlife and find suitable partners for his kink.

Whether it's cross dressing, bondage, balloons ...

For some men, the kink is the centre of the universe. Everything else, including how partners/ potential partners feel about it, takes second place.

For this man, what was a concealed interest has now bulldozed its way out into the open, because he thought there was a glimmer of interest.

If you play along, all you will be to him is an accessory, a supporting player in his 'All About Me And My Dick' production. And it will probably get worse as the thrill gets less, the high gets lower and he seeks out more.

I think your choices are:

If that suits you and that's how you want your life to be, then go right ahead.

If not, say NO.

It may mean you can go back to being just good friends, though you'll always know 'that' about him.

Or it may mean the end of the friendship.

Choice time.

And if it's cross dressing, take a look at the Transwidows threads for a forecast of what your life will be like a few years down the line if you surrender.

You say you 'haven't responded with enthusiasm'. But you also haven't said you're not into it. In fact, when he sent you a picture of himself in a nappy (or whatever it is) and asked how he looked in the photo, you just said 'I can't really see you in it'. Why on earth did you say that instead of saying 'Sorry, but this isn't something I'm into at all'?!

He is clearly someone whose sexual satisfaction revolves entirely round one specific kink, and it's not something you will ever in a million years find attractive. You are not sexually compatible. I also think that you should really not be having a relationship with a man who can't take a hint when you clearly have major issues with boundaries and assertiveness, especially when your 'hints' are so vague as to be almost non-existent.

If you're concerned about upsetting him, you really don't have to say 'This is fucking disgusting, you weirdo'. You can say 'Sorry, but one person's kink is another person's turn-off and this is a turn-off for me - you don't have to be ashamed of it, but it's not something I'm ever going to be into seeing or talking about I'm afraid, so you need to find another outlet for it'.

I was thinking it was a chastity cage too, so many men I know do it (not the gay community, just the kink community). Locktober has just finished, so it's probably more obvious to me at the moment with guys talking about it (where they actually did it - kind of amusing that some guys have totally misunderstood it!). Not my kink personally, but I'm not particularly domme

Jesus. Why can’t people just be normal?! I have never heard of a chastity cage! Whatever next. 🤣🤣🤣

Are we supposed to believe there's any country on earth without perverts?

Is he a Reform voter? Each to their own, but that'd be a kink too far for me.

What are "PISSFLAPS" -please enlighten me!?

This man senses an opportunity to get his rocks off. And too many of them will do whatever it takes to that end.

Here, it's about a fetish. I imagine it's AGP/adult baby type unpleasantness.

A fetish is an addiction, like drugs and alcohol. An addiction to the euphoric high it brings.

And as time goes on, the high will get less and less, so they seek out more and more. Involving other people. Manipulating partners into it. Getting it out in public so strangers then become pulled in. Getting into dangerous situations and involving others. More and more and more to keep getting the high that used to be so easy.

You're in his sights as a tool to achieve this goal. Nothing more, nothing less.

They will say literally anything - ANYTHING - to persuade, coax, coerce, manipulate, con, threaten women into participating. Whatever. It. Takes.

Compliments - pushing your romantic buttons, not because he feels what he's saying but because he's learned that's what he needs to say to get what he wants from you.

Threats of self harm - a classic and very well known manipulator abuser tactic (First Rule of Misogyny: 'Women are responsible for what men do').

Time to step up, decide your boundaries and send one clear strong NO and refuse to be drawn any further. If he decides not to respect them and you - block time.

Ah, it's an old thread!! But if you're dealing with this ... Hopefully my last post will help.