To believe that people should stop expecting special treatment for “food preferences” (not allergies) at events?

[TheCoralReader]

If it’s just a preference, it’s on you to manage. AIBU to think events shouldn’t have to cater to everyone’s diet choices?

I cater for vegans/vegetarians/food intolerances/allergies/religious scruples though recognise that bar the last two, it often amounts to no more than what they like.

I have yet to meet, i.e cater for a food intolerant person who has not piled into the very food they can't tolerate. When it suits them.

This is clearly anecdata but still. It hacks me off to turn myself inside out to accommodate such twattery.

The problem is that often people might be more than one of those. I have a couple of restrictions, as guided by my specialist. It won't kill me but it can have quite severe consequences I'd like to avoid. When I go to events I generally just don't eat if there's nothing obvious. It's too hard to expect people to cater to my highly specialised requirements.

A family member got married and eating was part of the deal. I asked them if they could ask the caterers to put aside a plate of the salads and leave any dressing off. They said they didn't want to bother the caterers by asking them to take this trouble. I didn't think it was a big ask. I decided just not to attend the wedding. Not because of the food but because they'd showed a complete disregard for my health and clearly didn't care about me. Much offense was taken. They were making salads anyway, so I really don't think it was a big ask.

Religious requirements are a funny one. There's some easy ones: no pork or beef for example, and that's not very difficult. But if someone keeps strictly kosher than you just can't feed them unless you get premade food. They know that too so won't be expecting anything unless arrangements were made ahead of time.

I have dietary requirements related to my diabetes, but they are a bit complicated as it's about the balance of a given meal rather than specific ingredients, so I never expect other people to cater specially to them. It can get awkward if they have chosen a very restrictive menu though. Vegan menus can get tricky. (It is possible to be a diabetic vegan! But requires careful planning.)

And yes @LilacTurtle! I don't usually need to make requests like that, but I do sometimes need to rejig what's being served a bit or avoid components and the worst thing is when people get offended about it...

I can't eat dairy. It's not because of a health problem or allergy. It's because the thought of swallowing cow's milk makes me feel nauseous, sick, faint, disgusted. I guess it's a psychological issue. I do eat meat.

I'm so happy that providing vegan options is more common and acceptable. I don't expect people to provide for my weird dairy aversion. At the same time time I'm gutted when there is no vegan option.

So removing the egg, cheese or honey from a dish makes it awful?

For me, most vegan food that is served is highly processed, which doesn't fit with the diet that my specialist has recommended and can cause me pain. If it's 'real' vegan food, that's fine.

Catering for vegan (and even vegetarian) invariably means that 50% of your buffet goes uneaten.

The last place I worked at, 30 people, one vegetarian. The company was nice enough to cater to that one person. It ALWAYS meant that we had two trays of food, one was stripped clean, the other had one or two sandwiches taken by the 'hungry'. The veggie lady actually brought her own food.

I go to events to socialise, not worry about food. I never go to an event expecting to find food I’d want to eat / suits me. I put a few mars bars in my purse. Then if I find food I like I’m happy and if I don’t I’m happy. Life’s too short for me to list the things I don’t like, and life’s too short for others to have to fuss around trying to accommodate me. Just relax everyone.

Lots of people with allergies and different dietary requirements about now
I wonder whether this was always a thing or just more awareness now

Good grief. They should be encouraged to leave

Worse gut health, more allergies, weaker health more generally in humans, I believe myself.

I have a gluten intolerance, I’ve been like it over 20 years. What really pisses me off when I make people aware of it, they acknowledge it and they then don’t cater for me. I’ve been to so many events (even weddings in the middle of nowhere where I’ve stayed overnight) and they’ve said sorry you can just have a plate of veggies or an apple (I shit you not I was once given a chopped apple for dessert).

I usually bring a roll and a packed lunch, but the converse of that is it often gets wasted. So if you don’t want to cater just tell me and I can prepare!

I’ve been stuck at parties served alcohol but no food!

This. I just want real food, I don't care if it's meat or veggie as long as it's not this absolute shite.

Well that’s why they say to wean babies at 6months now and not 4 - because there’s evidence that has contributed.

OMG! I didn't go to the event at work as unwell. Heard this back from a colleague. Two Muslim lads at work asked if any of the pork was halal. There is no such thing as halal pork as pig is classed as unclean and still too unclean if slaughtered in halal way.

Conversely, the experience many vegetarians have had is that meat eaters take a lot of the veggie options as ‘sides’ or because they look interesting, so then there’s not enough left for them.

There needs to be a balance somewhere.

Doesn't seem to have helped, if the current and recent generation is anything to go by.

The current generation were weaned at 4 months? It’s still quite a recent change of advice.

“Cooking plant based” is fantastic in theory, but most “plant based” cuisine is over processed junk full of soy, quorn, wheat, nuts, seeds, all of which are major allergens and triggers for IBS/IBD. It’s impossible to create a vegan buffet that can cater to all allergies and medical requirements.

Truely unprocessed vegan food is wonderful, but I’ve only met one company who really pulled that off well. Delicious food, most colourful food I’ve ever seen. But not IBD/IBS/allergy friendly by a long way!

No it's not. My eldest is 30 and we were advised 6 months then.

Totally agree. I was buying vegan cheese at one stage before it dawned on me how processed it all is. Now I just do without.

As to those posters who just had a plate of veg at weddings, shows the sheer ignorance of the caterers. They should have 2-3 dishes of vegan, GF and both for each course in their portfolio. If when the special couple or anyone else planning a day with caterers. If they mention to caterers "oh we have a few guests that are GF, vegan or both. If they say they can't cater or they will sort something out, don't go with them.

Friend's sister bakes cakes and she can make GF and vegan wedding cake in her own kitchen. Why can't caterers?

Same. I can’t eat dairy or soy - both makes me violently ill, but vegan cheese is on the whole horrendously over processed. I’ve found some great alternatives to milk and yogurt, but not cheese. It’s all mega processed.

I wanted to book an afternoon tea recently however I don't like cheese.

There was ONE sandwich I could have eaten, egg mayonnaise.

A cafe near me has EVERYTHING on the menu with cheese. Even the soup came with a cheese scone!

YABU

Most of this fake chicken and bacon, I read the ingredients to some in supermarkets and full of ingredients that you don't know what it is, struggle to spell or pronounce.

They are more processed than sweets.