To believe that people should stop expecting special treatment for “food preferences” (not allergies) at events?

[TheCoralReader]

If it’s just a preference, it’s on you to manage. AIBU to think events shouldn’t have to cater to everyone’s diet choices?

But most of the catering of vegan food I had are vegan sausages and burgers. Basically meat substitutes which I don’t want.

Well going with that thinking 'I'm sure people could eat meat for one meal' variety of food is good for everyone but this 'well I have a belief so that makes me special' is weird

Can you clarify whether you mean people saying “I don’t like roast potatoes, only mashed”, or whether this is just a veiled dig at vegetarians?

It’s a genuine question, because there are a surprising number of people on here who think vegetarians and people who have religious dietary restrictions should be force-fed bacon as punishment for “fussy eating”.

If you mean literal preferences (“I don’t like carrots, can you produce some peas from somewhere instead?”) then yep I fully agree. I’ve been a waitress and some people are just ridiculous.

I agree with you op. I’m organising an event and it’s getting ridiculous. I don’t actually care what you don’t like, I just want to know if you’re vegetarian, vegan, have any dietary requirements, have any religious requirements.
So far I’ve had a list of foods that people don’t like. We’ll, don’t eat them then, simple.

I agree that it’s important to make sure guests have something they can eat, especially at big events like weddings or milestone birthdays. But I think there’s a line between accommodating broad dietary needs and catering to each individual’s specific likes and dislikes. My point is more about managing expectations - there’s a difference between making sure there’s a variety and customising everything around personal preferences.

@TheCoralReader you haven't said what type of event you mean.
A work event for a couple of hundred employees that you are organising is different to a dozen friends round at yours for a meal?

Just cook.plant based ? Make your life simple. And cater for allergies if needed.

Oh good, we haven't had a vegan hating thread for about seven minutes

I find it very difficult as I have quite a lot of allergies but also things I don’t tolerate that well due to my IBD, I’m not a huge fan of vegan veggie substitutes as they are often highly processed or contain things that will upset me
I’m ok with plain meat, poultry, fish, eggs etc and some veg
Usually I don’t say anything and just eat what I can - recently went to a work related event which had tried to cater for everyone by making it all vegan, however due to all the ingredients I can’t tolerate, all I had was boiled rice and rocket! Next time will take my own

People need to realise that they won’t die or be sick if their preferences, beliefs etc are contravened with the food. But someone with allergy will suffer that.

I think it's definitely becoming more of a thing in the UK, to expect your every preference to be catered to.

We have to provide meals for groups of people as part of my husband's job, and the groups are, broadly speaking, very different demographics. We have each of the groups around approximately once a month. The group which consists of over 65s, British people have zero dietary requests ever. I've never had anyone fill in that box at all when we send out the monthly invite to their group. The group of 20s-30s internationals (mixture of mainly Asian and Mainland European, plus a few Africans), have a few vegetarians each month, and an occasional dairy free. The group of 20s-30s British people put SO many things in the dietary requirements box that it is a real challenge cooking for them. No gluten, no dairy, no nuts, vegetarian, vegan, no mushrooms, no bananas, no rice, no spice, low carb, no dried fruits (!!), not keen on green veg... these are a few of the recent ones written on the invite forms. I have absolutely no problems catering for allergies and ethical/religious diets, but it's a bit of a nuisance trying to plan a meal around 15 people's personal likes and dislikes. They don't pay for the meal, and they aren't required to be at it, it's just a bonus if they want to join for it before a meeting.

It is interesting to me that this one group feel free to state their preferences when the other groups presumably also have likes/dislikes, but don't mention their preferences, only their requirements.

I think this is fair enough. I always think a good range of vegan and meat choices go down well. Those who can't eat meat or certain meats due to their beliefs can have the vegan options.

I think a big part of the problem is what people get offered. So much catered 'free from' options are just horrible tasting UPFs and that is that people object to.

I have family members who have coeliac disease, it's easy to cater without gluten by using potatoes and rice and beans and nuts. When I do that the non-coeliacs don't even notice whereas the fake gluten options are terrible.

Same with vegan and vegetarian food. Proper meals made with identifiable vegetables fantastic, fake meat no thanks. I know there are some fussy eaters who just want a sausage but I think most people won't object to proper vegetarian food.

Same here. I’d rather just have the vegetables and non meat trimmings than fake meat. Though some vegan sausages are rather good, for one meal a pile of vegetables will do me fine.

I organised a workshop for 40 people recently and had the most ridiculous dietary requests - nothing too saucy, no fish, not too spicy, not too rich, steak haha were some of the comments when the form I sent out said allergies or dietary requirements. Obviously there were the expected vegan, halal, dairy free etc which is fine but I’ve never had the other requests when I’ve organised events previously so wondered if it’s a recent thing

Where did I mention vegans? Relax.

I was thinking more about larger events - things like weddings or big gatherings where it can be tough (and costly) to cater to every single preference. For smaller, personal gatherings, it’s easier to accommodate everyone.

I reckon just big bowls of entire food items would make life easier:

jacket spuds
bananas
avocados
boiled eggs
olives

then just loads of breads

and spreads on the side for variety: butter, olive oil spread, cheese, pickles, hummus, jam, etc etc etc

Surely people can amalgamate a meal for themselves. If not - tough.
Bloody fussy buggers.

Can you elaborate on this and give an example?

But it's not unreasonable to want to be able to eat something you can stomach.

I’ve shared a few examples in the thread - feel free to take a look.

YANBU. I am incredibly fussy and have an eating disorder. I go to great lengths to avoid food centred events (impossible to do so entirely as our society seems to revolve around food!) and would never ever expect people to cater for me. I have a few family and friends that I am comfortable enough with to eat at their houses but even with them I work with what they're doing and am happy that they will turn a blind eye to my weirdness. It's awful but nobody else's problem!

@TheCoralReader you're really not answering the questions though and it's terribly frustrating to read. Do you mean preferences like "I don't like peas" or "I'm vegetarian"?

People need to realise that they won’t die or be sick if their preferences, beliefs etc are contravened with the food.

Thats a ludicrous statement. People can gag and vomit at food, they don’t like! DH can’t abide mayonnaise. It’s beyond me, how he can detect it in sandwiches, where it’s used instead of butter - but I have seen him gagging, if he forces himself to eat it. It’s amazing how much mayonnaise there can be in buffet type foods - the sandwiches, a salad, coleslaw, potato salad…

I won’t eat fish or chicken on the bone in public, because one bone in my mouth and it’s 🤮

Completely agree. The problem is, caterers seem to assume vegan = fake meat. Vegan can be delicious so long as it's real food.

I have a work event coming up soon. We have ordered 50% veggie, 25% vegan and 25% meat, with no fake meat. So the vegan will be things like felafal wraps etc.

We ordered a majority vegetarian as the omnivores tend to eat lots of the veggie stuff (we have an excellent caterer).