To believe that people should stop expecting special treatment for “food preferences” (not allergies) at events?

[TheCoralReader]

If it’s just a preference, it’s on you to manage. AIBU to think events shouldn’t have to cater to everyone’s diet choices?

It really depends a lot on the situation and how choice/preference is being defined.

A large gathering like a work conference where people not are really known to the organiser, it's nice to have an idea of food in advanced, but many of us with different food needs plan around it.

If it's something personal like a wedding involving kids on each side and one of the kids has food aversion and eating issues, refusing to consider it in planning the menu is a pretty shit move. I wasn't surprised that marriage didn't last.

Being vegan is healthy. I don’t understand why people get so worked up over others choices to cause less animal suffering, it’s really weird

I’m fine with actual food. But increasingly I’m getting the shits from catered food. If I stick to basic stuff I’m ok - so jacket spuds, salads without dressing, pieces of actual chicken (not nuggets or sausages). I can’t work out what it is so I just avoid anything suspect. I eat plenty of vegan foods at home - we eat loads of beans and pulses and very little meat. But anything labelled “vegan” out and about is going to end messily. I bring my own food to anything that looks like having a lot of “vegan” catering. Is it greenwashing, or just hugely cheaper? Definitely on the increase.

I don’t think YABU. I quite often attend functions for work where food is served (both nibbles and full on sit down meals) and have never been able to eat at them because they can’t cater to my religious needs but they can cater to everyone else (vegan, veggie, dairy free but eats meat, don’t like tomatoes, ‘coeliac’ - self diagnosed and often falls off the wagon were some of the requirements at the last one). I don’t blame them for not being able to provide food for me, my own food shopping routine involves driving several hours and crossing a land border once a month to stock my freezer up, but it does make me a bit cross that everyone else gets to be so picky. Why not meat option, vegan option, maybe a veggie one at a push. If you don’t like it don’t eat it. (Obviously I’m not including genuine allergies here).

No, you’ve shared no examples.

A shout out to the crowd who aren't 'allergic', but very, very intolerant. Enough that a spoonful of the wrong wheat will cause a lot of issues.

As it's not an allergy, we're often shoved into the 'preference' section, and it's really not a preference. My preference is a great fucking slab of white bread toast and loads of salty butter, but here we are...

Yes. I don't mind vegan food that isn't ultra processed, there's some great vegan recipes out there. But these UP frankenfoods can't be good for us. So many people of 35+ will be watching our salt and cholesterol levels too.

Appreciated. I can’t eat any alliums, it’s so bloody hard to eat out anywhere with that issue as no one recognises it. For my work Xmas do the restaurant has said they can’t cater to that and I will get chips and something round the corner, and bring them back there to eat, as happened last year. It is what it is, I’d rather not feel ill and it’s not a huge deal to do that. As long as places don’t mind a solution like that there isn’t an issue.

That doesn't quite work though; as a pp said, vegan options can be very limiting with either a lot of processed meat alternatives used and/or tasteless tofu/soy type things. It's very rare to find something vegan that isn't either processed or heavily spiced in order to give it some flavour. It's one of my gripes in restaurants that claim to cater for vegetarians and then only provide vegan dishes. I end up ordering a selection of sides!

How awful. I would be happy to eat vegetarian food as I think it is very nutritious but would hate to be forced to eat vegan food which is pretty awful in my opinion.

I don't understand why religious preferences and "ethical" preferences are seen as more worthy than other kind of preferences.
Someone believes some god exists and forbids them to eat chicken, someone believes tomatoes are vile. What is the difference?

Vegan food can be absolutely delicious. The problem is, most caterers seem to believe vegan = fake meat, which is UP crap. UP crap is awful, regardless of whether it is vegan or meat based.

If I am ever involved in catering decisions, I always request no fake meat and we generally get a lovely selection of vegan, vegetarian and meat based food. If I'm not involved, there tends to be a lot of UP crap for the vegan options. I can only assume it is cheaper to provide.

My granddaughter is Coeliac and it's not a choice/preference. Sadly gluten will always be her enemy forever,any exposure to gluten will damage her bowel
Birthday Parties are already a minefield trying to keep her safe!

Preferences or requirements? To me these are different things.

I am a vegetarian. My dietary requirement is that there is food available that is meat-free. My dietary preference is that this is non-spicy as I don't like chilli in my food, also not fried food.

I will state my requirements but not my preferences because that would be unreasonable - I can eat fried food or pick fresh chilli out of food, I'd just prefer not to. And if I think it might be an issue (a previous venue for our company away days always served sausage rolls, bhajis etc) l"ll bring my own.

Event planners and kitchens should absolutely prioritize allergies and medically required diets, even if it means not being able to cater as wide a variety. Preferences and beliefs should be second tier.

that doesn’t mean good hosts don’t try to make everyone feel welcome and have an enjoyable meal.

I just think it matters more that someone gets an allergy safe meal than someone gets a vegetarian or kosher meal. Right now, people are pretty much guaranteed to have their preferences or religion catered for while people with allergies are often left out.

Just think about going on an airplane. I can’t order an allergen safe meal or even get an ingredient list, but most airlines have no shortage of specialty meals for preferences

@TheCoralReader , I’m assuming you think everything should be vegan, nut and gluten free as standard?

I was on a residential course recently and one of the evening meals was Mexican themed. Every single dish ( meat and vegetarian ) options including the rice had been liberally sprinkled with chopped coriander. Even the accompanying salads, dips, veg and other sides.

I just cannot eat coriander- tastes like soap to me. The only option for me was bread and butter! It was in the middle of nowhere so not even possible to go out and buy something!

I am coeliac and diabetic - I have never asked anyone to cater for me. Thee is always something I can eat where ever I go and I alwys make sure I have some fruit and biscuits with me.
People need to get over themselves and no I am never becoming vegetarian or vegan!

I would not like all vegan and a lot of vegan substances - quorn and meat substitutes - are ultra processed. They give me a sore stomach.

You haven't given an example. I genuinely have little idea what you're talking about.

The problem with "Well everyone can eat plant based but vegans can't eat meat" (For example) is that it's not the only restriction. If it's a large group you'll wind up with someone GF, someone allergic to soya, someone allergic to nuts, etc. So it becomes really difficult to find anything suitable that isn't a salad. So if this is something like a corporate event, then options are necessary.

The really hard bit is when it's a home event like a dinner party and people feel they can make requests because they're on unusual diets. And at that point yes, you can say no, though I think it is fair to provide choices for vegans/vegetarians. There's been a couple of times when someone had so many restrictions I had to say I just didn't feel I could cater for them.

I do think you have a point re people having unreasonable expectations OP. I'm an omnivore but I don't eat poultry so if I'm going to somewhere and am asked in advance about dietary needs I ask for the vegetarian option as I know chicken is a common choice for the meat dish at lots of events. I think asking for a non meat dish is reasonable but I don't feel I'm entitled to say that I eat meat and then be specific about what meats I do and don't eat, not at a mass catered event anyway. If a friend invited me for a meal and asked me if there's anything I don't eat I'd say no poultry as if they're meat eaters themselves they might prefer to cook a different meat rather than a vegetarian meal. I think it's a bit different if someone has invited you to a meal and is catering for you specifically. At home I'd always try to cater for a guest's preferences even if I thought them odd or unreasonable but at an event where lots of people are eating I don't think you can expect every individual preference to be covered.
I do think there should always be meat and non meat options though. The belief that everyone can eat veggie/vegan options is quite widely held but incorrect. There are a lot of fairly common allergens in vegetarian and vegan food. My DS is allergic to most non meat protein sources and whilst eating a plate of plain salad and a piece of fruit for one meal isn't the end of the world it's not great either.

People with ibs or chron’s disease may have problems with an entirely plant based meal. So might people with diverticulitis.

Yanbu but I do wish people would stop assuming that medical dietary requirements are limited to allergies.

Lots of us exist on restricted diets for medical reasons and without giving details of one's medical condition, if not ticking the allergy box the only place left to put something is in "preferences"

Happy to eat veggie but not vegan or meat substitutes. Vegetables are amazing and tasty. No need for fake meat but every need for real cheese.