To believe that people should stop expecting special treatment for “food preferences” (not allergies) at events?

[TheCoralReader]

If it’s just a preference, it’s on you to manage. AIBU to think events shouldn’t have to cater to everyone’s diet choices?

I almost never eat any type of processed food or restaurant food anymore. I'm allergic to soy and it's in absolutely everything, for no good reason.

As a vegetarian I only hate mushroom risotto. Normally plant based, dairy and gluten free. I don’t mind as long as I can take snacks or buy food.
I would prefer a vegetable curry with rice or something with rice or buckwheat noodles.🍜.

There is a difference between providing a meat choice a veggie choice a vegan choice than providing all guests with their choice of meal though So a meal consisting of a beef dish for the meat eaters , a quiche for the veggies and a nut roast for the vegans is acceptable
Meat eaters expecting a choice of beef, chicken lamb pork venison veal or anything else isn't

I own a cafe/sandwich shop and also do outside catering l.
when going over the platter menus I ask if there's any guests with allergies and that's it.

I have done the usual nut free gluten free dairy and egg but only if requested not as standard.
There are always vegetarian choices but I don't do vegan unless specifically asked for.

In the shop if I'm asked for a gluten free breakfast for example I ask if it's an allergy or preference, one requires a full clean down new gloves, apron etc and the other just needs to be made with care.
We've unfortunately had to respectfully refuse To accommodate an allergy request because it was crazy busy I'm to small to have a dedicated clean zone so we would have to stop cooking for other customers clean all equipment etc etc and we just didn't have time.
Its not something you can rush because a mistake can lead to serious illness and the customer was grateful for my honesty and was able leased I was taking it seriously she also returned a few days later and has become a regular visitor ☺️
My advice is if you're not 100% confident don't do it. My celiac aunty often takes a packed lunch out with her 😂

I have IBS and I wouldn't be able to eat any of it then it was all spiced. Not because I'm fussy but because it makes me really poorly. Are people able to bring their own food if they have their own issues?

Aww that sounds really tough actually! Is there anywhere you can go for a meal and be safe? Sorry it's like that for you.

I cannot eat chilli at all. It's not an allergy but my body has in an intolerance to it now and makes me very poorly. And it's in so many dishes it is unbelievable. Even food that wouldn't normally have chilli in, some supermarkets just throw it in anyway.

OP, it's very easy. The host is under no obligation to provide a choice of food at an event. Their guests are equally free to decline an invitation. Why would I go to an event where I find the food unpleasant and I'm going to be left hungry?

If I hold an event, I offer a choice of starter - fish or veggie, and a choice of main - meat or veggie. Dessert is generally fruit with optional cream, and a dairy-free sweet cake or pastry. I let people know the menu in advance so they can decide if it is for them or not.

At a recent work event, a new member of the events team decided to only offer veggie/vegan on the basis of ethical values and her complete confidence that everyone would like her veggie food as much as she did.

Unfortunately the 60 strong engineering team took one look at the buffet and then left en masse for a nearby steak/burger restaurant. 😂 You cannot ask people to travel 200 miles and not feed them. We had to bin 90% of the buffet.

Equally I attended a conference at a university last year that had gone completely vegan. I will generally eat anything but this was inedible.(higher ed budgets?) We were slightly more tactful, ducking out in shifts to get food elsewhere but I haven't rebooked that event. The sales team would refuse to go.

As for 1/3 vegan, 1/3 veggie, 1/3 meat, this is way off in my experience. For London-based consultant lunches (ages 30-60), we normally get one vegan and one veggie to eight meat eaters.

Theres no need for drama or goady threads like this. You’re an adult. Just communicate like the adult you’re meant to be. If you want someone to come to your wedding or other event then you do your best to provide something to groups like vegetarians, vegans etc. Obviously people can’t expect completely personalised meals just because they don’t like a certain food.

Can't comment on "preferences" but I know people who have coeliac disease where eating gluten has put them in hospital.

Allergies really are dangerous, and not a preference.

There's a big difference between "I don't like fish" and eating gluten will result in hospitalisation.

There do seem to be more allergies around.

Interestingly, my mum (78 and British) is very intolerant to oats and oranges but it would never occur to her to put it in a dietary form because she just doesn't think of it that way. I'm lactose intolerant and I tell everyone after some bad experiences!

Sounds awful. I’m vegetarian and a lot of plant based/vegan stuff I find horrible.

@HangingOver

that long? Maybe you missed a couple 😂😂

Also fruit and mushrooms.

@coldcallerbaiter

i won't die if I eat meat, no, but I will be very sick.

Theres nothing like being alone in a foreign country where you know no one, can't speak the language & are projectile vomiting all night.

Don't be so dismissive.

The trouble is vegan substitutes are often far more processed than meat and that's what caterers often use. And fake cheese - aargh.

If there are lovely things made from pulses and beans then great. For me, but some people can't eat them.

My dad wouldn't have coped with a vegan buffet. He would just want a ham or cheese roll, a couple of sausage rolls and a few crisps. It's about knowing your audience.

It's not unreasonable at all to give information about requirements if you are asked.

I have to avoid several foods, but I never bother telling anyone in advance, if I can't eat something I just don't eat it, there's always something, even if it's just fruit and a soft drink, available at any event I've attended.

But if you sent me a form and said "do you have dietary requirements" I'd probably say yes - why would I lie?

A lot of people like to conflate choice with requirement. And none of us know who really needs to avoid gluten to avoid two days in bed or who is on a fad, or who has IBD that will ensure they are literally shitting blood if they get it wrong, compared to someone who just gets a bit gassy and uncomfortable if they eat the wrong thing.

Be glad you don't have to deal with it and let others get on with it, I'd say.

The expression is 'catering for people' - you either supply food as you see fit on a take it or leave it basis and risk it going to waste or you ask in advance and cater accordingly. Whether its a preference or a need is neither here nor there. You pay for it either way so it comes down to how you how you want your guests to feel. I sense hospitality is not your forte, OP.

At any event there needs to be a few different options. Anyone wanting dairy free, gluten free, vegetarian or vegan should be able to find something they can eat.

Long term vegans and vegetarians will likely feel sick because their bodies aren't used to it, meat or dairy needs to be reintroduced slowly.

The majority of people who go vegan cannot be reintroduced to dairy as most humans do not carry the gene that lets us produce the enzyme that digests dairy - though it varies from one ethnicity to another.

So, once you stop eating dairy for maybe a couple of weeks, if you don't have that gene, you're done, you will always, and forever, be lactose intolerant, because you will have stopped producing the enzyme and it won't start up again due to your genetics.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6316316/

No, they don't need to realise this, as people already know what food will make them sick, kill them or that they simply prefer not eating.

I don’t like to create a fuss so only mention I’m vegetarian if asked if I have dietary requirements. Weddings etc you’re almost always asked in advance in my experience these days, but say 20 years ago I’d be dreading the sit-down meal incase there just wasn’t a veggie choice - I’d think to myself the worst that can happen is I just eat any veg that’s on the plate and leave the meat. I’d be more worried about other people noticing and creating a fuss on my behalf 😂

You reckon? I don’t, from experience 🤣🤣

In the UK, at least, only about 8% of people lack the enzyme that produces lactase.

Lactose intolerance is primarily genetic and going vegan does not cause people to become lactose intolerant.

Yes I said it was genetic and varied from ethnicity to ethnicity.

In the UK, approximately 25% of the population lack the gene to produce lactase

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2986166/C2986166/

And yes, going vegan can, in fact, make you lactose intolerant.

Lactase is the enzyme responsible for digesting lactose, the sugar found in milk. Most humans experience a natural decline in lactase production after weaning, leading to varying degrees of lactose intolerance in adulthood.

When individuals stop consuming dairy, their bodies often reduce lactase production further because there is less need for the enzyme. If they later reintroduce dairy into their diet, they may find they can no longer tolerate it as well as they could before going vegan.

And a vegan diet can alter the gut microbiome, which plays a role in digestion. and can affect lactose digestion.

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/dairy-cut-diet-lactose-intolerant-symptoms-development-skin-cheese-milk-yoghurt-a8302626.html

https://translational-medicine.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12967-020-02429-2

DH and DD1 don't get on with milk or eggs- not sure if there is an intolerance or it's just preference. DH eats his own bodyweight in cheese though. DD1 has oat milk.