To want to just avoid people as much as I can until I die now

[OptimismvsRealism]

Sure there are still some great people out there but most are awful stressful thick rude shovey mean argggg

Friends can still come to me but no outside

Sounds wonderful!

No. I think you need to be over 40. I am 57.

Yanbu. I'm a naturally outgoing and exuberant person but the older I get the more reclusive I have become. People are often awful; selfish, shallow, feckless, dishonest and willfully bloody ignorant.
The pool of people I am willing to spend my free time with has got smaller and smaller. I'm not mourning anyone.

So why did you come on here to discuss this with other people if you don't like other people?

And why are other people who don't like other people responding to you?

Shouldn't you all be playing with your pets?

No I actually don't feel like this. Which kind of surprises me but having read all the posts, no, I wouldn't want to isolate myself that much

Just don't come back whingeing in however many years when your kids are grown and left home, and you suddenly realise you're on your own for most of the rest of your life.

Ha, mine left about 15 years ago, I've had a lovely time since. Not everyone needs people around. I'm happy with my pets. I'd rather be alone (I'm not as it happens) than with arseholes. #livingmybestlife

I like people but I’d rather they didn’t come into my house.

Or you could just own your own misanthropy.

If literally everyone you meet is an asshole, or everyone apart from your DH and children, then you’re either incredibly unlucky in your extended family, social circles, children’s friends’ parents, colleagues, neighbours etc etc, or it’s you.

Obviously there are awful people, but no, ‘most people’ are not ‘awful stressful rude shovey mean’.

Yes some people can just slide off the earth but most are ok. Some have been helping me and some are just cheery people so they are ok by me!

You should start a thread @PoorUncleBarry ! We’ll all commiserate with you.

It’s not just technology but Covid that has ruined things and made people fearful of interacting.

I work with people who won’t answer the phone if they don’t recognise the number calling them. One person lost out on an interview with a company she really wanted to work for.

There are lots of good and friendly people out there. But if you’re closed to social interactions you won’t find out. Be open, be respectful, be kind.

I’m working in a new city. Very helpful young chap saw I was struggling with the beastly self service tills and stayed to help.

On a return train from seeing the new office, we were delayed, missed our connection. A young chap got talking to me about his physics degree, his girlfriend, all sorts.

I wouldn’t miss out on people for the world. Yes of course there are arseholes out there, I’m probably one of them sometimes. We’re social animals, nothing wrong with a bit of alone time but we need society and it needs us.

Is anyone on this thread willing to admit they're one of these "awful people"

Or are they all just out there somewhere?

I think I've stumbled across Misanthropenet.

40 isn't old. 65 isn't old. 90 isn't old.

Old is when you give up on finding anything new to think about and do; or just get worn out from living due to poor financial planning, making the same mistakes over and over again (never learn) or a severe medical issue.

They should just rename Mumsnet Misanthropes Anonymous and be done with it.

😁

You have no idea how comforting I find this thread - the irony of finding comfort in something so sad, is not lost on me.

I was thinking the same thing today.

The world seems very cold and hard.

I Feel like so much is expected of me as a single Mum with an 8 year old but so little is given. I have very little support and even for my child I don’t feel that most people care that much. I think there’s a very low threshold for saying nor doing the wrong thing with other women.

I often feel that it’s a dog eat dog world, even from other parents sometimes - people just see all the things I can’t do & think I’m not coping because I’m lazy not overwhelmed. One of my friends recently said “stop going on about finding a lawn mower guy and just do it yourself”. It’s always from people that don’t feel overwhelmed and who don’t have a lawn or have a husband who mows it.

It’s not just my lawn, it’s everything. I feel like I’m critiqued and judged for every failing and managing with so few resources in the impossible obstacle course that I’m not made for. Everyone is standing on the sidelines telling me to try hard and looking the other way.

Its like people want to be around success, happiness and all that glitters only.

Me too. I'm also old.

I was out early and people were lovely.

When people are stressed and anxious in crowded situations that's when it all goes awry. Not only those but thats an example.

35 is young. Half my age in fact.

Perfection. I would love this too.

My mum is in her 80s and after being a social butterfly she became agoraphobic and spent the last 30 years not going out, as she had so many bad experiences with people. Not age related I don't think

log off then

That's really not what 'old' means. You can check in the dictionary. And 90 is definitely old. I know people like to say that 'young' or 'old' are a state of mind, but it's not actually true.

Anyway... I spend Monday to Friday with lots of people. I'm usually in a room with 30 people (no prizes for guessing what my job is!) and come into contact with hundreds every day. I do enjoy some solitude after all that - who wouldn't? But I don't recognise this 'cold, hard world' people are describing.

I don't hate people, there's some good ones out there. I just don't have much need of them.

I suppose I'm the definition of the cat lady spinster. If I didn't have my cats (i have 2) I think I would be lonely but they are quite needy cats (they never got the memo on being independant) so I've generally got one or the other on my lap every time I sit down. I don't plan to ever be without cats again whereas I do plan never to have a partner again!

I have a good relationship with my adult DC so they kind of fulfil any socialising need I have, as my need in that area is low so not that I'm always pushing myself on them or anything!

If I ever feel I need more I'll just join something! Have my eye on U3A in a few years maybe. Depending how I feel.

We don't all need the same level of socialisation. My mum is a bit of a loner and she's nearly 80 now. She moans about many things but never about being lonely.

Nobody has to use the dictionary version of old if they don't want to.