To want to just avoid people as much as I can until I die now

[OptimismvsRealism]

Sure there are still some great people out there but most are awful stressful thick rude shovey mean argggg

Friends can still come to me but no outside

And I have never claimed to be “nice”.
No, me neither

also think if you approach this from the starting point that you are shouting from the rooftops that most people are assholes and your life mission is to avoid them you’re not in a great place to be demanding tolerance. Why should the internet equivalent of shouting at strangers in a pub invite tolerance?

I don’t think that’s what most people on this thread are saying though. I may be wrong but I think it’s just the OP and I’m half convinced she’s trolling anyway .

I mean I actually don’t think people are lovely and kind as a rule. I think they pounce on you the minuate you show weakness which you may think is sad or YMMV or whatever but that’s my experience. Self-righteous belligerence from the likes of you does not convince me otherwise though I do realise you are just saying what you think.

and I’m half convinced she’s trolling anyway

"Carefully curated and beloved relationships" has convinced me of this.

@pointswinprizes

I am certain the OP is trolling but I am rising to it because I hate the way people fall into line with this aggressive misanthropy. One playground bully says: “Of you go, be a bitch to people on the internet, its fun and really edgy, and you can say ‘I’m an introvert see!’” and hundreds of misfits and lonely people who don’t like themselves very much turn up and go “Can I join your club?”

Self-righteous belligerence from the likes of you does not convince me otherwise though I do realise you are just saying what you think.

I am self righteous about this for sure because I care about it and probably a bit belligerent so I will take that.

But I didn’t start this fight.

I am just baffled by the idea that a philosophy that recommends not wanting to live after 70 if your husband is dead is worth emulating.

I am fond of Dh and we have been married yonks, but by god, I will continue to live if he goes ahead of me. I intend to live a long time and enjoy every bit of it.

Well maybe recommends is the wrong word but the end result is the same. Seems a deeply miserable life.

I’m totally with you on this (such a a relief to know so many other people feel this way!) but I’m aware that for me it’s largely because of OCD and sensory overload. And other people just being dicks obviously! Have you heard of sensory rage? Google it if you haven’t and I think it may sound familiar. I do wonder if a lot of people who feel like us are neurodivergent - I have Tourette’s and have always felt like the world is kind of exhausting and makes no sense to me. Premature menopause 15 years ago has not helped! I love the IDEA of socialising but in reality I just can’t handle it. To the people saying you’re not making sense, I read a quote a while ago in an article about depression (but it can apply to other MH conditions) that sums it up nicely: “I want to be alone but I don’t want to be lonely”.

Totally agree

@OptimismvsRealism I don't fully agree but your post did make me laugh.

I don't understand this attitude at all. I am actually an introvert, but I still love people and think that MOST people are nice. I have lovely friends and mostly great work colleagues. Some people can be grumpy but not all the time. I always tell myself that everyone is a human being, even the demanding senior types or rude people and if you treat them as such, show interest etc then they respond in a much better way. Of course there is the odd utter cunt out there, but I think they are in the minority. I do wonder about people that find EVERYONE is rude and unpleasant to them - are they are indeed the common denominator?

Sounds like you’re tilting at windmills tbh. I don’t think I’ve actually seen any of that on this thread (OP aside). More low key grumbling than anything else.

But I have also got fed up with the introvert trope though more because of all “I think DEEP THOUGHTS” / “I talk for hours to people I deign to talk to” stuff. It does make you sound a bit up yourself. And yes, I am a bit like that, but at least I’m not pretending it makes me special or clever.

You’re also meant to be artistic, and I’m not, so maybe I’m not an introvert after all 😂

Absolutely spot on

If you don't like being challenged to be better then feel free to retreat back to the comfort of your sofa.

I'll admit I never understand people that just want to isolate themselves with just their children. What an utterly lonely miserable life for all involved, surely no one believes that's a healthy way to live. I can't imagine living a life where I modelled to my children that they shouldn't bother with friends, that they shouldn't make any connections outside of their immediate family. That they should just live their life isolated from everyone apart from their immediate family and they couldnt trust anyon. I'd feel I'd totally failed as a parent and failed my children if that's how they were brought up in this world.

I love being around people. I couldn't imagine not having friends in my life and the fun that this brings and the richness this brings.

I have been saying how much I despair of the human race for a long time now. It seems that the privileged and selfish people outnumber the kind and and good people by a long way. Good to hear it's not just me or my age.

I understand and I agree with what she is saying.

Words have meaning, and the meaning of words matters (imagine taking that approach with every word in the dictionary - we'd all be speaking gibberish) 🤷‍♂️

It's fine if one wants to live that way, but as you say, becomes selfish when stopping others living a sociable life.

Those kods they want to keep at home will grow up and want to explore the world.
They'll want to have parties, meet people, travel etc.
Then some of the hermits will be upset not to be invited to weddings or involved in other group settings.

I love my own company, but no need to feel superior about it.
People prefer different things, why can't people enjoy their choice without attacking others.

Absolutely agree.
Concerning to think the modern world has had such a detrimental affect on the young.

I'm 50 years old, and have seen alot of changes (and been through a fair bit) over the years.
Ex counsellor, now training to be an actor. Hence, all people are of great fascination to me, regardless.

Having said that, self preservation is vital. I do find i choose my friends very carefully these days.

In many ways social media has done alot of damage.

I moved to a remote area.
I also live on a hill so I can see anyone that's coming from miles away and appear to be not in.
I try to remind myself that most people are good but after 44 years in the NHS, I'm just jaded.
It's blooming wonderful and the slight trek to M&S foodhall is more than compensated for by the abdolute tranquility and certainty of no unexpected visitors!

Learning from recent experiences I would agree

Assumed most bullies stopped after school.
Then I joined the PTA ( not actually called that at our old school ) and was bullied by a bunch of mums. I was the treasurer, they didn’t like being told they were spending more than we had.
Name calling, hate, shouting at me…..tears!

So I experienced bullying in adulthood and after joining MN, sorry, I’ve noticed some people can be really unkind to others. Grown adults. I know, I should have known this. I’m amazed at the lack of understanding of democracy and the lack of empathy. Some people think it’s their way or no way.
What happened to understanding, to seeing other points of view.

So OP
Im with you
I wouldn’t shut myself away but I’m done with bullies. I will no longer smile and put up with it. They show their true selves and they are out.
I’m Keeping to the good friends I have and family around me for self preservation and im happy.

need to keep away from potentially contentious mn threads though. That’s work in progress.

Why are all these people who hate other people going in shops? I never do, I shop almost exclusively online and only pop into a local shop if I can stand it on any given day. No need to go in restaurants, get a WFH job, don't go on buses, drive yourself. It's not even that hard. On a societal level, it's not healthy, research shows that, but for any individual, it's the chance they take when they isolate themselves, but it's not compulsory at all to be around others these days.

It's like the people who go on the weight loss injection threads to moan about weight loss injections when they don't have to use them!

Just an observation of mine. Older family, going back in time for eg, when they took to avoiding people, wanting to stay home, get home asap as their overriding preference do age quickly from there on. We have a friend now, 62 years old, went this way only 2 years ago but now has lost his intellect somewhat but gp says no sign of dementia, has lost all ambition and is happy to whittle his life away with the cat and some books. As for older family, the ones that kept doing things, going out (ie excursions and travel rather than at night drinking) are the ones that got to 90 years old. I also have a cousin, just retired school teacher who was going to travel and could afford it with teacher pension + state pension, developed inertia and has done nothing in the 5 years since other than sit in the house watching TV and patting the cat. Has no interest in freinds, family or the outside world. She has declined enormously physically and intellectually in that time span. Her older sibling, carried on doing things like travel and socialising and now looks younger than her and is much brighter to talk to.

I volunteer with a charity and some of the members haven't seen 80 for several years. They are lively, sociable and do so much for other people. I'm sure they are like this because they don't spend their days vegetating.

What events? The world is looking much better with a brighter future thanks to the US

couldnt agree more.