To want to just avoid people as much as I can until I die now

[OptimismvsRealism]

Sure there are still some great people out there but most are awful stressful thick rude shovey mean argggg

Friends can still come to me but no outside

I'm retired now but spent almost 50 years in a customer facing role dealing with members of the public. I never hated the public during any of those years (I only fully retired this year). However, I have encountered some people who shouldn't be in customer service roles at all as they seem to have no clue about what it involves. What is stopping you getting a job where you don't have to interact with the public if you find it so difficult?

In my mid 50s and I feel like this all the time, apart from dh and dc, and 3 close friends, I really don't want to interact with anyone ever again. I felt like this before lockdown, but never did it, when lockdown forced the issue, I loved it, but df died in lockdown, I was greiving too, so I don't think that helped, but I'm with you op, totally!!! X

OP I sympathise, lockdown did it for me and I prefer reading or gardening alone.

I had cancer 20 years ago, I got through the 3 years alone largely.

Three people really came through for me, a school friend from at school at 7 to 16 years old. She came over every week once or twice, and an ex who came over every day for the first 6 weeks to cook me an omelette. It's all I could stomach.

I love people, my work involved meeting people. But I love being alone, to recharge my batteries.

It's what you like!

You live however you like. I'd personally be very miserable without good friends, people I can rely on and have a laugh with but if you can live without that crack on.

You are part of the problem

What a dickish response! People really aren't hard work. Some of them can be difficult, but there are ways of dealing with them. You are simply unpleasant, and given your responses to others on here it is quite obvious that it is YOU who is hard work, and anyone who has to interact with you in real life has my sympathy. I'm sure the people who you don't want to have in your life are the winners here.

In Japan, there are companies who help people disappear.

"So-called 'night moving' companies help peoole disappear without a trace and start a new life somewhere else"

Maybe there's similar services in the UK.

I think you seem really unpleasant. Suspect I'm not the first to say so.

I have good friends. That's what 20 people out of 8 billion

I think it depends. If you were to withdraw completely into isolation, like a hermit, then yes, you would be sad and struggle but if you already have a support network then you don’t really need to keep meeting new people no matter how nice they may be.

I think that particular poster, and many others on this thread, have far more of an idea of what is normal than you do. As for calling others aggressive!!!! Most of us are thanking our lucky stars that we will never encounter you in real life. Must dash, off for a walk soon to see how many people I can talk to - normal people that is btw. Thank goodness the majority of people in real life don't share your attitude. You seem to have this notion that you are somehow more cool and clever than the rest of us - sorry to burst your bubble, but you really, really, aren't. You come across as a petulant child, one best avoided at all costs.

You really didn't need to come on MN to express your wish to not have to interact with others, I'm sure people are more than happy to give you a wide berth.

You never have more than a few true friends, close friends, whatever you want to call them, even if you have a wide social circle. I dunno why the people on this thread are screaming blue murder about not being a bestie with everyone you meet.

Yes please 🙋‍♀️

Nope. People generally like me. One of my bosses once said it would be a cold day in hell before anyone didn't get on with me. Reading through this thread however more than one poster has mentioned how unpleasant you are.

I kind of get it, OP, though I'm sure the thread will be deleted soon.

People in my life have been disappointing at best, cruel at worst. People I thought close to me - family, friends, partners - all turned out to be uninterested me (including a parent), abusive or backstabbing.

Perhaps it's the type of people you attract with the kind of upbringing I've had, but now being alone feels safer, because every time I've reached out I found another liar, cheat, abuser or a friend I've emotionally invested in who'd slowly reply less and less. In relationships I've often listened to partners bitching behind their friends' or family members' backs, in ways they'd never voice to them face to face, and I think, why be so false? And it hurts to know that so many will have done the same behind my back, without ever being honest and actually telling me what they think.

So my trust in other people is gone, and with it my willingness to spend more time with them than necessary. I already know how it plays out.

@pointswinprizes

If you were to withdraw completely into isolation, like a hermit, then yes, you would be sad and struggle but if you already have a support network then you don’t really need to keep meeting new people no matter how nice they may be.

But how do you choose the cut off point? I don’t want anyone in my life who I have met since university? I don’t want to meet anyone over the age of 50? If you met someone and really clicked with them would you refuse to be friends with them because you “have enough friends”?

This seems arbitrary and self defeating to me. I can understand wanting to be discerning in your friendship choices and not to feel you have to say yes to everything, but aren’t you needlessly limiting yourself like this?

Also friendships change. People move, get married and have children and become focused on their families. Some people will sadly die. Sometimes people just drift apart from friends. You have to be open to the idea of making new friends even if you may feel you have “enough”, you never know what is around the corner.

@OptimismvsRealism

I think you seem really unpleasant. Suspect I'm not the first to say so.

LOL. Says the poster who has spent 19 pages telling people she hasn’t met she doesn’t like them.

@Michiru

While I think your post is sad and I hope you are wrong I have to give you credit for being open and honest about how you feel. It’s understandable that you feel like this, having been let down. I happen to think you are wrong but I appreciate your honesty.

The OP in contrast seems hell bent on just being gratuitously rude to people and trying to hide her feelings of obvious inadequacy behind a barrage of insults.

Guess I’ll have to take my chances. I see what you’re saying though.

The more atomised society becomes the worse it becomes for us, the better for the state.

My job forces me to interact with the general public and I can confirm that only about 20% of humans are not complete wankers.

Totally agree. It's really, really bad for us. We have artificially massively extended the number of people 'know' online, which is more than we can deal with, while shrinking the number of friends and acquaintances and extended family members we actually see and properly interact with.

I feel like this sometimes and loved lockdown for that reason - no pressure to go anywhere or see anyone (apart from dh and 3 kids!). I go between wishing we could move to a remote Scottish island and then thinking I’m weird and a failure for not having a big group of long term female friends I see all the time. I have friends but only a handful of proper ones and they aren’t a group.

I don't really believe there's a driving mind re the state in europe

I guess it probably does benefit the russian and Chinese states somewhat

Not being nice on a post about how other people aren't nice, oh the irony! 😅