To want to just avoid people as much as I can until I die now

[OptimismvsRealism]

Sure there are still some great people out there but most are awful stressful thick rude shovey mean argggg

Friends can still come to me but no outside

@DriedHydrangeas

Or just admit ‘I am a misanthrope’, or ‘I am someone who lacks the social skills to relate easily to other people’ (though these are possible to learn) or ‘Circumstances have meant that I’m struggling to be around peiole at the moment

Exactly. It’s fine to admit you feel disjointed from society. That you are struggling or depressed or just don’t like big groups of people. No one has an issue with this and generally people are sympathetic and supportive.

But stop pretending it somehow makes you a) morally or intellectually superior or b) that it’s other people who are the problem.

We live in communities. Families, towns, schools, workplaces, countries, continents. People, to some extent, rely on others to survive and thrive. It’s palpably ridiculous to pretend otherwise.

Its completely reasonable to limit the degree of exposure you have to that community. Everyone should be free to live in a way that brings out the best in them.

What you can’t do is tell people who do function well in a community that they are delusional or wrong or bad people.

Nothing I've described is inaccurate is it? You might not mind it (I tend to find people who don't are also much less sensitive about their impact on others so maybe a bit of a cycle of unpleasantness - I think you might be bordering on a different species from me if we analysed our DNA).

Exactly this, we all have to deal with annoyances with others, it's part of life.

But there's a difference between admitting you find it too much sometimes, and inflicting your own suffering on everyone else.

I have gotten to a point where I am able see others failings for what they are and not take them onboard. I realise that seeing someone who is being an ahole is much like seeing someone with a physical disability, someone that is overweight etc. It's just something you tolerate in order to get on with life.

I was thinking over 40. Anyone under 40 is young to me as my kids are late 20s and 30s.

They don't like people but they are all ND (properly diagnosed)

I love people. I suppose i'm thinking is this a younger generation thing because of all the stuff in the shops like "it's all too peoply outside" and similar which are obviously aimed at the 30s and under (i think?)

Though - having said that - i will talk to anyone and have spoken to many young and chatty folks. So - maybe it is just who you are.

There are plenty cross patch, draw the latch folks over 40/60/80 too!

@OptimismvsRealism

Nothing I have described is inaccurate is it?

In the main it’s not really a question of accuracy. Your perspective is entirely subjective. You have a very negative view of humanity, as is your right. I don’t.

But to quote a couple of the more colourful things you have said on here: you have said all people smell (I paraphrase but that was the gist), and you have just said I have different DNA from you. Those are both demonstrably inaccurate.

Oh yes you're entirely right. So do the easy thing and cocoon yourself from it and barrel towards death instead of growing as a person and learning how to tolerate others in order to help and inspire others to be better.

You don't have to do anything difficult. you can stay indoors, eat junk food, drink a lot, don't workout your body, be unsocial. It's your life.

Ps when i was younger (teens and up to mid 20s) i worked in shops and i STILL loved people. I have always loved talking to different people.

Yes, you do meet awkward ones in customer facing roles but it is so satisfying when you win them over. I just seemed to have an ability to get on with everyone. That was commented on when i sold shoes in a shoe shop.

I also did lots of supermarket checkout work (pre bar code) and i was fast and efficient with a great memory for remembering prices where labels had fallen off!!

I don’t know that I think anything that dramatic. I’m just fed up with the way a lot of people choose to behave.

Well they’re doing their jobs if that’s what you mean by being helpful. But I can’t say dealing with them gives me the rage, not sure where you got that from.

Not you @pointswinprizes the OP! She is very angry at having to face the most ordinary interactions.

Society has changed a lot since the technological revolution.
I'm retired now and basically if I don't want to see anyone I don't have to.
I can buy anything online at the click of a mouse.
I do an online keep fit class.
If I'm bored I can come on a site like MN (which is a form on interaction as people have pointed out and strange that someone who hates people would want to chat here).
I don't hate people but I can be lazy. I do try to fight against that because I feel that the level of disconnection in society is bad for us as a society and individually.
I do think all the hatred, isms and rudeness that is increasing is linked to this disconnection and to living life online.
Regarding human nature, there seem to be a group of people who genuinely want other people to be happy and care. They will bend over backwards.
In the middle are lazy people like me, who would help in a genuine emergency, smile and be polite and not actively hurt anyone but can be apathetic.
People are complex, they can be kindness itself or a bit selfish and snippy if they're under pressure, having a hard time or you press the wrong button.
Then there a small group of people who don't give a fuck about anyone else, plot to get their own way and are rude and bullying, sometimes to a criminal degree. I think it's a sweeping generalisation to say everyone is horrible and self seeking.
From OP's snippy responses it's tempting to say that there's a degree of projection going on but she does sound depressed and angry. (Calling people boring and Normative won't elicit a warm response).
We have all sometimes been let down or badly treated and when there's conflict around it seems easier to withdraw but ultimately it feels more satisfying to try to be a positive influence, even if our personal sphere is quite small, to strive to leave things better than you found them.
Two quotations spring to mind. "It's better to light a candle than to curse the dark" and "After all the love you take is equal to the love you make".

This shows a fundamental misunderstanding about population growth. The birth rates across the world are defintitely decreasing. It is a real problem that many people have not yet grasped.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-53409521

Population in can in fact continue to grow for quite a while even if the birth rate is falling .There is no denying that we are in a period of declining birth rate and that will probably result in a world population decline staring around 2080. In fact this post says actually refers to this obliquely as it mentions reaching a peak population in 2080. A peak usually suggests a drop afterwards!

I am sure many of the misanthropes on this thread will be happy about this. A population decline might sound a good idea, and in some ways it may be but there will issues that come with it. Then again I suppose most of us will be long gone by 2080

A population decline might sound a good idea, and in some ways it may be

The planet is screwed if the population continues to grow.

Oh yes, that whole “if everyone you meet is an arsehole then you’re the arsehole” thing.
I never claimed to be the exception that proves the rule smart arse 😂

Yes I am annoyed that I will miss the benefit of this. There are FAR too many people.

Oh yes, that whole if everyone you meet is an arsehole then you’re the arsehole thing.
I never claimed to be the exception that proves the rule smart arse 😂

But self evidently “wanting to avoid people as much as I can until I die” is not going to oil the wheels of social harmony, so why involve other people into this fucked up perspective unless you want a reaction?

I mean be suspicious and isolated if that’s what you want: who is anyone on this thread to stand in your way? You clearly think it suits you.

What I don’t understand is the constant need for validation in this approach. Why do you want people to congratulate you for this? Why the need to start threads about how awful others are?

What do you want from these other people you profess to dislike so much other than to have a pile on on Mumsnet saying: “Ooh yes I hate people too! High five!”

What the OP says is self contradictory. She (I assume she’s a she) claims not to want to have contact with other people or to see any value in them apart from her “curated” few. But her behaviour on here is about seeking validation from the exact people she professes to hate. It makes no sense.

If she were entirely honest about her motives here I suspect this thread would be quite different in tone and people’s responses would be much gentler and more supportive.

Well said @Anonymouseposter

Wow, can see why you might have come to this thread.

THIS was what my post at 10.18 was responding to!!! (On page 14/the previous page of this thread...) I forgot to quote it. Dumbass me! 😬

100% this. Well articulated @Thepeopleversuswork 👏

There are quite a number of grumpy, anti-social people who hate people on this thread (and on Mumsnet in general!) I don't think it's representative of people in real life much.

Maybe all the grumpies on this thread can get together and have a good old moan together! 😆

.

👏🏻👏🏻

Edited to say I think you have misread the pps post but never mind.

Are you guys still confusing me with the OP? 😂

@pointswinprizes I’m not, I just responded to your response.

You do seem to have a milder and less paranoid version of the same outlook though.

I think you have missed that I am quoting someone else, and also missed my sarcasm. I am not a waiter hater, for want of a better word.