To find this really fucking disrespectful?

[uuussse]

My mum will ask repeatedly when she’s seeing dd 3. I have had to say I’m busy five times this week because on five occasions she’s asked me if I will bring dd round on Saturday. We are already seeing her on Sunday!!!!

No she’s not senile. No she’s not lonely, she’s got my dad, when she’s busy she isn’t interested if I need her. I find it so fucking disrespectful. I’ve had many rows with her about doing it but she won’t stop.

It's annoying, it's irritating - but I wouldn't call it "disrespectful".

You'd find it "really fucking disrespectful" if she wasn't interested and didn't want to see your child.

I think you're using the word 'disrespectful' in the wrong way.

'Annoying' or 'irritating' yes, but not disrespectful?

I'm also not clear on why you find it disrespectful. Is it the repeated questions? Or that she asks to see your daughter not you? Would you like her to be less interested in your child?

I fail entirely to see how it is disrespectful. I can see how it might be a bit irritating. But when you consider all the threads on here about grandparents not taking enough interest, if that is your main gripe, I would consider yourself fairly fortunate.

Imagine, a grandparent wanting to see their grand child ! 🙄

I understand you completely but I have yet to solve this for myself.

I think I would feel quite disrespected if I was asked a question, answered it, asked the same question again, answered it X 5 times. It's like you're wasting your breath and the time you take replying because the questioning person just isn't listening, or worse, is intent on wearing you down. Very annoying for you!

Don’t answer the phone. She has the answer, don’t give her another one.

Maybe she has become more aware of her own mortality and is over compensating

How is it disrespectful? So you complain she is not thetr if you need her so her only purpose is to help you and do things on your terms?

Disrespectful because I have answered her five times already?! Do you think it’s right to do that to someone?

You clearly don't like her so why bother visiting at all?

@lasagnelle actually I do like her. I love my mum. But if anyone I loved essentially continued to ignore me when I’ve responded to the same question over and over again, I would feel disrespected. Perhaps this hasn’t happened to you so you can’t understand how it feels. If it has happened to you, do you not feel disrespected?

Is there a backstory??

Not sure why is disrespectful???

My mum is dead. I wish she could see me my children

@LoudSnoringDog i want her to see dd! I just don’t want to be asked the same question over and over as if I’ve never answered it?

I am sorry about your mum

This. It is like she is trying to get you to give in and change your plans and she isn’t respecting your existing plans and wants to be in charge.

Why do people describe things they don't like as "disrespectful"
Its like The Bloody Godfather

There was another poster recently whose child kept asking the same questions over and over and somebody suggested a really good phrase, it was something like "I've already answered that question, why do you feel you need to ask it again?" Can't quite remember now. But repeat, and repeat until they get the message.

Respect me, respect the family.

I see why you feel it’s disrespectful OP. You’ve given her an answer but she continues to go on at you anyway because she isn’t respecting / accepting your answer. It’s exhausting.

Yes OP I agree it does feel disrespectful not to be listened to when you answer someone’s question. She is probably continuing until you give her the ‘right’ answer. Of course it’s great she wants a relationship with GC but she needs to give and take too. Can you think of a way for her to be more engaged with GC that would be more of a help to you eg babysit, meet in park or bring meal round to yours after busy day?

You sound utterly ridiculous.

It is disrespectful because she’s refusing to listen to you and accept your answer as final.

It absolutely is disrespectful. If you were to tell a teen no to something but they asked you 4 more times, disrespectful is absolutely the word you would use. You have stated a boundary and she's ignoring you and trying to wear you down.

And my mum is dead btw. I'd love to see her again, but it doesn't stop me knowing disrespectful behaviour when I see it.