Not thanked at engagement party

[Whoisunreasonable]

To cut a long story short it was my son’s engagement party recently. Marrying a lovely girl. After they booked the party we were sent details and times, not given anymore info. We turned up and party was very extravagant and fancy. Turned out the brides family paid for the whole thing. We gifted them £75 as an engagement present.

Son made a small speech and cheers with champagne thanking everyone for coming and for presents and then thanked brides parents for all of the efforts they’d put into planning the party and for paying for it. No thanks to any of his side of the family at all. I raised this with him and he didn’t see my problem at all. He told me it wasn’t a wedding speech where he was thanking everyone individually, just a few words and it would be rude not to thank them. AIBU to think he should have thanked us too? It was very embarrassing not to even be mentioned. I asked if he needed me to do anything for the party and was told no as they had vendors doing it.

@Calliopespa I 100% agree with you. I am sick of the "all about me" rhetoric. No, it's bloody isn't "all about you"! Some of us have some respect and gratitude towards the people who brought us up!

As for insisting that the groom here is beyond criticism - that's just nuts!! If I disagree with something one of my YP is doing, I will say so in a constructive way, and vice versa!

Not wasting any more of my time.

OP was posting about an engagement party which in my experience is often just immediate family (parents siblings) and friends of the couple. Unlike a wedding where there are often disagreements about where to draw the line at an ever expanding guest list

If you post on AIBU, continually ignore where people tell you YABU, double down on how right you feel you are and are quite a snob about fairly normal things... I think you should expect some derision.

Especially after ignoring what you're being told.

It's not bullying.

I agree. An engagement party is far less formal an arrangement than a wedding and much less wide reaching as far as the first list is concerned.

The OP said she had to ‘remind’ (tell) her DS to invite relatives who were almost certainly not considered as relevant guests by the DS and his fiancée.

Personally I think it’s rude and very cheeky to add guests ti a party that’s not for you or arranged by you.

My mum once invited herself to my house for dinner and then told me what to cook.

You are literally defending every comment she made.

I’m up to about page 28 on here but one good thing to come of this is that one of my kids really wants a party and it’s making me see the whole balloon arch, Photo Booth, catering set up in a whole new light.

There IS no avalanche. You’re just defending literally every comment and decision she makes, no matter how bad they are. If OP had stabbed her DIL to be in the middle of the party, you would have popped up on the thread saying “Did she never consider that OP might prefer a clean knife?”

This is a really interesting comment really glad I picked this up from the 10 pages I havn’t read. It’s so true, adult behaviour is so interesting isn’t it? And on-line where literally no one knows (except I did find my NDN on here years ago her comments were always fine!)

Maybe try reading what the words actually say and stop making shit up.

A close friend of mine paid for her DC's wedding, but wasn't allowed to invite any of her own closest friends.

Then why didn’t she spend the money on a party instead? She could have invited whoever she liked then.

We're talking people who were friends way before the DC were even born! Are the parents not entitled to enjoy their DC's big day too?? (I guess you will say not!)

If these friends are from way before the bride/groom was born, why do they need to be there? They’re not part of the bridal party’s lives!

Why can’t parents enjoy a child’s wedding without inviting their friends? Surely the enjoyment comes from seeing their child finding the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with? It’s pretty shit to only be able to enjoy your own child’s wedding if you can turn it into a knees-up for all your mates.

I think it’s reasonable for whoever is paying for the wedding to request someone to be invited that they would like to be there, but equally their child’s wedding is not a dog and pony show opportunity to show off to their friends. Ultimately the couple have the right to say who they want to attend to witness their marriage and help them celebrate - paying for a wedding is a generous gesture not a right to call the shots

Whatever. Rude!

Nah, just honest.

Nope. Rude, nasty and incorrect.

And you’re accusing others of being rude?

Crikey.

You’re the clear definition of “can give it but can’t take it”.

Bored now. Other people's failure to comprehend is not my problem.

You make yourself sound worse with every subsequent post.

Pot. Kettle. Black.

😂😂😂

Okay so if you didn't want him to thank you for the money, which he couldn't have known about, then what did you expect to be thanked for?

He thanked everyone as a group for attending and for the gifts, thanked his wife to be for agreeing to marry him, and thanked his in laws for the party. You were included in the group thank you.

If it were the wedding speech I'd understand you being miffed, but this is just a party.

I think you're going to need to chill out a bit because there will be lots of things in the run up to the wedding that may make you feel a bit left out, or not included, otherwise your going to cause yourself (and possibly the couple) some aggro; putting you in to nightmare mother of the groom territory. It's not your day, it's theirs.

Not true, the OP upset and asking if she was BU, instead of being told yes she got lashed but then again that's this site, people love being insulting and the more insulting the better. I'd love to know IRL if a friend came to them and asked would they have same answer, no they wouldnt, how easy it is to he rude and insulting on a forum where you can hide.