To be absolutely disgusted at my date?

[lullabellee]

He drove and when we got back to mine and parked up we had a kiss. I had a top on with a zip down the middle and he went to pull it down and I said no, this happened twice. I then got out the car and he quickly apologised that “he gets a bit carried away”.

Surely my first no should have been enough?

My husband, who I’ve been married to for 10 years and dated for idk, 2 or 3 years before that did something similar to me today and I lost it at him. It’s gross. Get rid now

Never get into another man's car on a first date, or show them where you live. That's basic precautions unless you already know him. Otherwise they could drive you anywhere, or pester you in future at your home.

It's horrible. No means no

A man who does this does not view women as people.

Women are merely a collection of holes to hopefully ejaculate into.

He didn't like the first "no", and did not have any respect for your boundaries.

This tells you everything you must know about him - nothing else matters.

Block and delete the fucker.

Yes, no means no. You shouldn’t have had to tell him no twice.

Rapist in the making

Absolutely!

Keep safe out there...

Urgh, sounds like a man I recently dumped for asking me to send him a picture of my recent serious chest injury "because I like seeing your boobs lol". ICK ICK ICK.

He sounds grim, not respecting your boundaries

Are you for real

Please block him. Not you tell him hes a dirty pervert.

no second date then, for Mr I don't respect women.

This ..
Im feeling really worried about your safety and boundaries that you would let someone know where you live on a first date, and go in there car.
Please be safe going forward

And yes he was a dick about the top

Sorry off topic... the the name mudflaps made me laugh 😃

I agree with you. Yes, she absolutely should be able to feel safe in his car, and yes, regardless of where they are, his actions are entirely HIS fault. There is no victim blaming. However, as we know, women can’t afford to have that level of trust in a man they have only just met so I can see why this poster is bemused. I wouldn’t have a strange man in a private space with me, nor let him see my house. There’s nothing wrong with pointing that out.

Years ago, a friend had been chatting to a man on a dating site for a matter of hours, but invited him around to her house that same night where her young child was also asleep upstairs. Before he came, she happened to tell me the arrangements and I told her it was really quite dangerous, but she insisted she wouldn’t have felt comfortable meeting at a bar or something?? He sexually assaulted her. Although I don’t think it was her fault (it’s always the perpetrator’s fault) I couldn’t help thinking she’d been bloody stupid!

Not victim shaming at all. Common sense due to some men being predictory. I wouldn't want my sister, daughter, friend going on a 1st date with a man she doesn't know, picked up/dropped off in his car. It is a really venerable position to be in. No one is blaming the Op.

I fully agree with you. In no way were you victim blaming here in my opinion. Basic safety advice for this day and age. I would be worried about him knowing where I live after that..!

I’d be blocking him immediately. So inappropriate

This!

Bizarre basic safety is called victim blaming always.

We KNOW all men can't be trusted so we have to wide up ladies.

Just like security companies say don't leave valuables within view or lock your doors. You would never get in a stranger's car.

First date - man IS a stranger!

*wise up

@lullabellee That you even have to ask this question makes me wonder. If my DH did this I would be appalled. My body is mine and nobody starts to touch me or undo my clothes without getting clear signals that I'm on board so to speak. What would happen if you were at his? Would he rape you and say "Sorry I got carried away"?

The only thing I don't get OP is why you stayed after the first time. He crossed a line (unless you were heavily making out at the moment) and you should have left there and then. The second time was he telling you that he doesn't care about what you want, his urges have priority. 🤢🚩🚩🚩

I hope you have blocked him already.

A grown man who can't help himself. Nah he was pushing to see how far he could go. This is disrespect of the highest order.

As per pp, going forward please try to get yourself to and from first dates. It is just basic safety. It's ridiculous that this is how it is, but unfortunately, it is how it is.

That you even have to ask this question makes me wonder. If my DH did this I would be appalled. My body is mine and nobody starts to touch me or undo my clothes without getting clear signals that I'm on board so to speak.

Im confused by the above? Would you be appalled that whilst kissing your husband he touched you at the same time? I don’t think I’ve ever kissed someone without also touching them in some way.

OP, don’t go on a second date.

Gross but good for you that he showed his true colours straight away (at the time you're meant to be trying hardest to impress) stopped you from wasting too much of your time.

No means no.