Birthday on Christmas Day

[AngelInBlueJeans]

My birthday is on Christmas Day and I’ve always felt like it’s a non event. Part of me thinks that as an adult I’m being childish, but I really do feel like like my birthday means nothing, and I have never had a birthday party, not even as a child. I receive Christmas cards wishing me a Merry Christmas, then written in brackets… (and a happy birthday). It’s just an afterthought isn’t it, and an excuse not to bother sending a birthday card!
I’m lucky that my DH always wraps separate gifts, so do my teenage children, I am grateful for that, but part of me feels sorry for them that they have to try to fit my birthday into Christmas, it feels like it’s an inconvenience.
My best friend always combines my birthday and Christmas present, she writes on the gift tag “Happy birthday and Merry Christmas”, and of course it’s wrapped in Christmas paper, basically she gets away without buying me a birthday gift. On her birthday this year (August) I combined her gift and wrote the same on her tag. I guess some would say that was mean and childish, but I just wanted her to know how it feels. TBH she looked confused… welcome to my world.
We do have a lovely family Christmas, and for that I am genuinely grateful, but it would be nice to have a birthday.

I'd say to Bf Look going forward let's agree a maximum annual gift budget of £x so we can both stay on budget and be fair

Yanbu

DS is Boxing day and we have exactly the same sentiment

My DB and I have winter birthdays and our grandparents, who lived abroad and we only saw in the summer, celebrated our half birthdays.

My friends DSis had a Christmas Day birthday and at 3 pm it officially stopped being Christmas and became her birthday, with cake and her presents!

My own DS has a birthday shortly after Christmas which is only a problem because we struggle to think what to get him and then, if he needs something big (bike, new console) in March it feels unfair to give him that not for an occasion when we'd tell DD with a summer birthday to wait for that.
He actually shares his birthday with my DM who is vocal on the rubbish nature of a Christmas birthday and one present instead of two. So we try to do the right thing for him.

Wow it really pisses me off that people suggest moving the birthday. This is the day you were born, why should you move it? No one else would!

My dc is an Xmas day birthday and we celebrate it in priority to Xmas day, always have done. It's others who try to ruin it, grown adults who don't want their Xmas day "spoiled", absolutely pathetic. I know non of them would want their birthday taken over by another event. And no, they're not religious.

OP, I'm really sorry that your parents didn't prioritise you, you deserve to be celebrated x

I'm sorry you don't enjoy your Christmas birthday OP.

Our (now adult) daughter was a Christmas day baby and still maintains that she loves it. She used to count down the days from August!

We've always managed to make it special - we have a part of Christmas day that is birthday time and she always got (and still gets) separately wrapped presents.

Now that she has a partner it's a bit trickier I think, because his family don't understand about making it special for her birthday too.

My mum AND her mum (my gran) both had birthdays on Christmas Day. Now that they are gone I always feel a bit sad on the day itself.

Mines on Xmas Eve and I felt the same, so when I was old enough to choose, I’d move it to the summer and tell everyone it was then. If anything, the confusion on peoples faces year after year when the date kept changing was amusing enough to make up for it. And of course I demand 2 birthday gifts, one on my summer birthday and one on my real birthday, from those who know the truth. Who in their right mind wouldn’t?! 😉 the Queen would!

If having your birthday celebrations on a different date to your actual birthday is good for the King and the Queen before him it's good enough for me.

That said I'd move by a few days or week not 6 mths, but most people move birthdays to weekends.

I would still acknowledge the actual day but move the main event. I think misread children would be happy to have 2 birthdays.

Aww I'm sorry that it's been a bit rubbish for you. We have a child born on Christmas day and we've always made sure that they get their own party day usually late November/early Dec time and have always got them separate birthday/Christmas cards and presents which I think is important.

One of my colleagues had the same issue. When Ibwas collecting for her birthday one of tgexsraff git her a very Christmassy card. Anithercstaff git tgrcmost beautiful card with a winter scene but one tgat could be framed. Another staff member offered to take her out with her family on Boxing day when they celebrated her husband's birthday. The went for a bike ride and then had a crowd of them at a greasy spoon fir a fry up with cake and a drink. Special day for her as she met her future husband.

Mine is a few days before Xmas and my parents wouldn't put the Xmas decorations up until after to keep it separate.
I would say to everyone that you're now celebrating your birthday on 20th.

Grow up a bit, maybe?

Mines tomorrow and it was always combined with Christmas sucked when small. My partners birthday is Christmas day and it's his birthday till 6pm then Christmas day.b

Oh i like the idea of someone donating their birthday!

Mine is mid January and people always still did combined presents. It felt like I was an afterthought and no-one cared enough to give a crap.

Now I am an adulr everyone is 3 weeks into Dry Jan and also skint as Christmas credt card bills come in so it's still ignored and forgotten.For ny 50th last year I tried to arrange a drinks thing and had people text me to say they would be 9 days off Dry Jan ending so would not come.

That's very personal though. I'm not bothered about birthdays but love Christmas.

The friend knows all year round when the OPs birthday is, it shouldn't come as some sort of surprise she isn't prepared for.

Yes OP it's sounds shit to have your birthday be an afterthought to some people, YANBU

@BarbaraHoward Christmas is really important to us too, as we are practising Christians.

Hence why we make room for both!

Doh! I didn't mean to quote you, I meant to quote @ILoveMyCaravan who suggested one person's birthday should take priority over everyone's Christmas.

You must've thought I was a crazy person.

Yes but between adult friends, birthdays often aren't a big thing. I haven't exchanged Christmas presents with my friends for years and some years we give each other a token on our birthdays and other years not.

If the friend is giving OP a thoughtful gift in line with their norms then I think that's ok. Different for someone in the close family.

Sex in March should be banned.....

This. If it bothers you that much, celebrate another time. And the pettiness with the friend makes you sound incredibly juvenile.

@BarbaraHoward I was a bit puzzled 😂!

Could you do something for your birthday in the evening that feels like it’s own thing? I often find that the evening of Christmas Day can sometimes be a bit flat and it might be nice to have something to celebrate that’s not just more of the same?

Anyway also sympathy, that does sound a bit rubbish.

Well that was a crummy thing to do to your friend.
Dd and DH's birthdays are both Boxing Day. A rubbish day for a birthday as lots of things are shut (bar bowling alleys it seems-both of them are subsequently excellent bowlers) and friends are usually busy seeing family they didn't see the day before. Last year for DD's 18th we had a big party at the beginning of December instead and just a family lunch on the day. Her boyfriend is a footballer and always has a match on Boxing Day so it's never going to be the big celebration day for her. Plenty of people celebrate their birthdays on the nearest weekend day if it falls mid week. It's just choosing whether you make a big deal of the actual day or not isn't it?

Dd2's boyfriend's birthday is Christmas Day. He celebrates it on the 23rd instead and Always has. Why don't you just do something like that?