Birthday on Christmas Day

[AngelInBlueJeans]

My birthday is on Christmas Day and I’ve always felt like it’s a non event. Part of me thinks that as an adult I’m being childish, but I really do feel like like my birthday means nothing, and I have never had a birthday party, not even as a child. I receive Christmas cards wishing me a Merry Christmas, then written in brackets… (and a happy birthday). It’s just an afterthought isn’t it, and an excuse not to bother sending a birthday card!
I’m lucky that my DH always wraps separate gifts, so do my teenage children, I am grateful for that, but part of me feels sorry for them that they have to try to fit my birthday into Christmas, it feels like it’s an inconvenience.
My best friend always combines my birthday and Christmas present, she writes on the gift tag “Happy birthday and Merry Christmas”, and of course it’s wrapped in Christmas paper, basically she gets away without buying me a birthday gift. On her birthday this year (August) I combined her gift and wrote the same on her tag. I guess some would say that was mean and childish, but I just wanted her to know how it feels. TBH she looked confused… welcome to my world.
We do have a lovely family Christmas, and for that I am genuinely grateful, but it would be nice to have a birthday.

If I had this birthday I'd swap days to something like 29th December. People are often at a loose end and would be glad to meet up, plus shops are open so if they forgot your birthday they can zoom out for a last minute gift. No point sticking with the 'real' day if you hate it. Announce to everyone you are swapping it!

YANBU to think it's shit, everyone I know with a Christmas/New Years birthday hates it, to have yours on the actual day must be even worse.

I do think you were a bit petty to your friend, assuming she's an adult with all the thousands of commitments women have at that time of year. Different if she were your DH or your mum or something, but in reality you're probably pretty far down the list of people she has to think about at that time of year, and that's not because she doesn't care.

Would you swap to celebrating your half birthday? I'd happily mark the half birthday of someone born on Christmas Day.

If my children or I had this birthday then I’d randomly assign another day (day the week before) as my birthday as everybody deserves a special day.

It's a shame your parents didn't establish something when you were a child - party on the 23rd or something like that. Maybe you could start the tradition now? Tell your family you'd like to celebrate your birthday on (pick a date). It's pretty unfeeling of people to write your birthday as an afterthought.
I know it's no consolation but no-one ever remembers my birthday because it's immediately after Christmas. Even SIL who's got a dch born the same week (different year!). But somehow I manage to remember theirs.

My DS had a friend whose birthday was on Christmas Eve - possibly even worse for a child, because everyone is busy. His family got round it by celebrating the day he was christened, so that he could have a “special” day of his own. Maybe think if a significant day - say, when you got engaged, or some other significant date that you don’t normally celebrate, and “move” your birthday to that.

I have a December birthday, I totally understand and mine's much earlier in the month. Even going out for a meal, you're surrounded by Xmas parties and menus.

It's why I specifically conceived my DDs to avoid inflicting nov/dec/Jan bdays on them. I appreciate not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to plan that way. But I felt/feel so strongly about it.

I will think of you on your birthday 🎂

My aunty celebrates her half birthdays for this reason. I like thr christening ideas. Name day is another idea if your name is similar to any saint's name (unless you're called Nicola!)

My son's a few days before Christmas so relatives don't even try to give him gifts on time, he just gets them on Christmas Day to open while everyone else is opening their own Christmas presents. I think it's poor.

If my child had a Christmas birthday, I would celebrate their half birthday instead.

My friend has a Christmas Day birthday but throws a party on/around 25th June. It’s always a highlight, we bring presents and everyone is in a social mood (not Christmas skint!) I know it’s not the same but she does get a fuss made of her. Maybe a new tradition for your family?

My son was born on Xmas eve , we have always had his "birthday" on the day his "saint" name is celebrated. It was just a way to make it separate from Xmas.

Could you start that as a tradition ? Even if its a meal out on a specific day that has "some" meaning , be like royalty with an official birthday ?

YANBU that it's crap but YABU that you don't seem to have tried to establish a separation between the two events. Why not have a birthday party in the boring post-christmas lull? Or go wild and have a half birthday? Unless you do something like that it does sort of signal that you're happy with the status quo.

I have a family member with a Christmas Day birthday, which as a child, was moved to June instead. A different family member 'donated' their birthday. Is there another special date you could celebrate your birthday on?

In this house there is both a Christmas and a new year's day birthday. When young we did half birthdays in the summer (great for children's party attendance and then theme parks etc being open). Now we have Christmas day on the 26th December leaving the 25th for the birthday. The new year's day birthday is celebrated on NYE now as they are an adult so can party and then have a long sleep until we rock up with cake or make them dinner. We have always kept them separate and so their grandparents did the same. You just need to set a precedent.

Surely the one to blame is your df??!!. Dd's birthday is NYE...... She gets to choose whether the tree stays up or not...

Could you ‘change’ it to the weekend before?

Celebrate your half-birthday rather than your birthday. You get to have a party in June, maybe even outdoors.

My birthday is just before Christmas but I have always celebrated it separately from Christmas. Always separate presents. I can't remember a single occasion when I got a joint present, except if something was a bit more expensive. Cousin is Christmas Eve and he's the same. Those of us with December birthdays have to stand up for ourselves. Upside is Christmas trees. And lovely seasonal food.

I have a good friend who was born on Christmas Day. Right from the beginning her parents opted to celebrate her "birthday" on her saint's day (which in her case was the first week of July, so pretty much her half birthday). When we were children this was the day when she had her birthday party and received birthday presents. This has continued for 70 years. It's worked very well.

oh OP that’s not good you feel that way. Try celebrating your half birthday! The weather would be warmer for you. Just start this year and see how you go

I like the suggestion of celebrating on the relevant saints day - if you are lucky enough to have the same name as a saint.
Do you know what time you were born? If it isn't in the middle of the night you could have a thing where at that time everything Christmasy stops for a hour. You have a birthday cake, open your birthday gifts and do some silly party games like pin the tale on the donkey.

Yeah my sons birthday is Boxing day ,it's really difficult trying to make it special, it's his 18 th this year too!

My birthday is also Christmas day so i totally feel your pain, we always go out for dinner a few days before to celebrate, I cannot stand the christmas cards with " ps, have a nice birthday" written at the bottom either lol

YANBU

But I admittedly used to be one of those mums who combined these.
My DS is 11 two days after Christmas, and every year before his 10th birthday we always used to combine the celebrations because Christmas was so hectic (so no birthday presents, no proper cake). But last year some Mumsnetters actually pointed out how shit it was for him, and last year he had his first proper birthday. Separate presents in birthday paper, a birthday pizza (he doesnt like cake much), and asked relatives to separate the two as well

What if it's someone who wouldn't normally send you a birthday card? If it was an aunt you don't see much any more I would think it quite sweet they remembered.

My son’s birthday is on December 27. When he was a child we always held his party at the beginning of the month because the fortnight before and after Christmas is just hopeless for children’s birthday parties. For the first 11 years we also always had a big family party on December 27, but year after year the aunts and uncles would arrive saying “Happy Christmas!” and completely forget to say “Happy Birthday”. They would all bring Christmas presents for each other too (lots of kids) so the birthday presents kind of got subsumed in a sea of Christmas presents - and very often he would get joint presents too, so then he basically missed out on getting a birthday present. We always worked really hard to keep referencing his birthday and he always had a cake etc but no one other than my husband and I made any real effort to remember him. We switched to going on family days out (Zoo, farm park, golf fun park, theatre, Ripley’s Believe it or Not etc) and that worked much better through his teens.