Play date in XL Bully house

[Bonneylass]

School mum has invited my son over to play. They own an XL bully. Apparently it’s a lovely dog and they have 3 kids at home. I really don’t want him to go, I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. Is it best to make up an excuse or just be honest? Interested to hear from owners of XL bullies how you would react to this. She’s a lovely lady and ideally I don’t want to piss her off.

Absolutely this! Everything to do with jaw size and force. I wouldn’t ever want anyone to be bitten but if it was ever going to happen a dashund bite for example would like hurt, maybe need stitches etc but an XL bully would maybe mean a funeral. Not worth taking a chance at all no matter how ‘lovely the dog’. Quite frankly it annoys me when owners say this - always really friendly until they bite someone. They are animals, they have instincts.

The problem is, these dogs are often lovely and well behaved with children, until they aren't. Something in them triggers the n a heartbeat and people don't stand a chance.

I love animals, but the sooner this breed dies out the better, I can't believe it's lawful to have them in homes with children.

Just be honest with your reasons.

I'm an absolute dog freak, as are the rest of my family (and naturally we have one of our own). Hell would freeze over before I sent my child unsupervised to a house with an XL Bully in it.

I'd just suggest meeting up outside the house or invite them to mine.

To have a dog, or children for that matter, entails sacrificing some things. In their case, fewer people will allow play dates at their house. May that be the only sacrifice they make.

I’d just be honest and invite the other kid to yours instead so the kids aren’t missing out. I don’t think she should have an issue with that.

Ask her to keep the dog in another room. When my grandchildren come round I put the dog in another room or the kitchen. She is only an old terrier, but I would not trust any dog near a child.

I had an Alsatian as a child and my best friend came round to play (early 1980's) and we were playing a game and he thought she was hurting me, he bit her leg, just a warning, didn't break the skin. This was a kid he knew who came around a lot - she never came round again after that, I always had to go to hers.

Just no, not worth the risk

100% No
be honest with the mum
invite the kid to yours instead

you won’t be the only one. The mum needs to understand that it’s just not socially acceptable to have kids over when there is a dog with such a notorious reputation in the house

i I assume it’s registered, neutered and muzzled when out the house as per the law?

The issue with XL bully dog is that they can flip from being an apparently reliable cuddly family dog into red mist at the flick of a switch, no warning.
It's a psychological flaw.
The animals were created from selected breeding for this characteristic and an original dog called killer kimbo was particularly known for it and was bred from so much that a sizeable percentage of all bullies carry his genes.
I remember reading an interview of one owner of one who was alone in her house with her much loved pet, doing nothing in particular when the dogs demeanor changed and it was like he was a different animal.

So whilst most dogs will be fine if raised well, and the adage 'it's not the dog it's the owners' applies, with these dogs there is always the risk they can flip for no reason whatsoever.

It would be a hard no from me especially given the latest attack current in the news. Just be honest with her and she should be understanding. It was her choice to own and have one of those breeds in her home, it is your choice whether or not to send your child round there. I am a dog lover and have dogs but I am never offended if someone does not want to come round because of the dogs. Mine are not a dangerous breed. It is not worth you worrying about it and you would be worried for all the time your child is there.

XL Bully dogs are a very dangerous breed with a lot of instability and unpredictable. Their sheer size and power renders their owner powerless should they turn and attack someone. I am an experienced dog owner, I have had dogs for decades and I would never ever take on one of them. I love dogs but that breed should be wiped out and never be in a family home. All dogs according to their owners are friendly and wouldn't harm a fly, that is until they do. If she is offended then so be it, best to offend her than risk your child being hurt or even worse killed.

I would not describe as "lovely" anyone who has an XL, let alone someone who keeps such a dog when there are children in the house. There are, however, plenty of other words I would use to describe such a person, idiot being the most polite.

Not a chance.

It’s a no from me even if the kids aren’t left alone with the dog. Even with an adult there if the dog turns it’s too late.

My cousin has 2 XL bullies. She has 3 very small children. I don’t take my 2 small children to her house. I trust her. I don’t trust the dogs, however good she says they are. Thinking of my cousin, if those dogs attacked there would be absolutely nothing at all she would be able to do to stop them. She’s too small.

Just tell her and say could you meet at the park with just the children instead. Or invite them to your house instead.
If she's a responsible owner she won't mind

My son was asked on a play date by a family with a large aggressive German shepherd dog. I refused. The child could come to my house as often as they liked but I wasn’t having that dog anywhere near my child. The mother wasn’t happy but her happiness wasn’t my concern. I have 3 very friendly dogs but I’m on high alert when there are small children around.

They might be lovely with her kids but your child is a stranger and dogs can be territorial.

I'd say no.

She won't be daft, she'll know the dog is a deterrent to socialising. I'm at a point that if I host play dates then I ask whether our German shepherd is OK to stay or whether he'd be best going to his second family for the day (my parents, where he gets spoilt rotten!)

You’ve made the right decision.
As I’ve said on another thread, I’ve got quite a collection of dogs from small to large and there is no way on God’s green earth I’d entertain a dog breed that even an adult would struggle to over power. They’re killing machines in waiting in that sense.
As you’ve decided, be honest but polite. If she chooses to be offended then that’s on her.

Sorry, but no. You can be nice about it but she needs to hear it.

I can’t see her taking it well, though. It’s a criticism of her judgement and parenting at the end of the day and there’s no getting past that really.

Nope! Tell her the truth. Id be nervous around one of these on a lead. No way im putting my child in a situation like this. The one thats just killed a ten year old was “a loving family pet” fuck that

It does not matter if the parents are present. It won't stop the dog killing. It really is not a given that people would not leave a child with any dog. It should be, but people just nip to the kitchen, or answer the door etc. I think this is naive.

No responsible dog owner would choose this breed in the first place.

Be polite but honest. You don't want your child near this dog.

Absolutely not. Be honest about the reason, no need to lie

Tell her it's because of the dog

Nope. Absolutely not from me. They are all lovely dogs, until they are not !!!

Anyone stupid and irresponsible enough to keep one of these dogs cannot be trusted to keep it in another room.

As for if I know and trust the mother and family, it wouldn't be a problem for me, how utterly naive. It absolutely should be a problem.

As others have pointed out, these dogs turn in a second with no warning.