Play date in XL Bully house

[Bonneylass]

School mum has invited my son over to play. They own an XL bully. Apparently it’s a lovely dog and they have 3 kids at home. I really don’t want him to go, I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. Is it best to make up an excuse or just be honest? Interested to hear from owners of XL bullies how you would react to this. She’s a lovely lady and ideally I don’t want to piss her off.

After the most recent news especially? Either this is a troll post or you're absolutely fucking mad not to already be certain that it's a no.

Sensible and responsible dog owners always keep an eye on dog - child interactions and never fully trust the dog with the child because you can never fully trust children to be able to read and interact appropriately with a dog, and there can definitely be moments of dogs trying to put children in their place - it happened to me as a child, and I've seen it happen to my children too.

XL bullies are famous for being big softies, great with kids..
Until the moment that they aren't. And unlike a Jack Russell or a Labrador, an XL bully who snaps WILL kill a human, and no human will stop them from doing so.

Add a 4th child that the XL bully doesn't know into the mix and you are asking for trouble.

"No, and the reason why is because you have an XL bully in the property." You can deliver it politely but there's no reason to hide the reason why. Anybody who is offended that you want to keep your child safe isn't somebody who is worth avoiding offending.

Thanks all. He is definitely not going so just wanted to sound out how to explain to the mum. If I make up an excuse I will no doubt get another invite. I am not even comfortable with him in the house if the dog is in a crate, I just don’t want him anywhere near one

"Nothing is a given where your dcs' safety is concerned. Time and again, it is proven that people are idiotic and/or make mistakes."

Well, yes. But of course that applies to everything. There more risk in any interaction or close relationships with men, or getting in any car, or crossing a road, or joining the scouts, or any number of scenarios.

And I concede the point re not just supervision of the dog- but reiterate that any responsible dog owner would agree to crate or completely isolate the dog. I would. And if a dog owner said no- imo they wouldn't be a responsible dog owner. If the mum said no to that... it's different matter altogether.

I wouldn't be happy with a crate either. Accidents happen, kids could let him out to say hello, fingers poked through bars, dog in rage dismantles cage from within...

You're right OP.

I fear I also need to say I don't have an xl bully- my dog is a basset hound.

No,no,no!

Noy in a million years would i even contemplate this. I would tell her why, kindly, but be clear. If you make any excuse she may try to reschedule this. Also every time one of these dogs kills someone, the owners say that it was a lovely dog so that means nothing. Plus your son will be a stranger to it so even more at risk

I'd hate to upset the woman too, but not as much as I'd hate my child being killed by her dog.

id be honest with her, it can't come as a surprise to her. I'd lie a little & say I'm sure he's fine with her kids, but I'd be worried about DS being a stranger in their home.

I actually do think they're lovely, but they do seem to have a faulty gene that makes them too much of a risk.

No, I wouldn't go in a house with one myself, let alone allow my child to go without me there. I would use the wording above if you don't want to upset them - you're sure there dog is lovely but your son isn't used to dogs and you can't predict how he might behave around one. Or even that he's scared? No one can argue with that and it won't be taken as a personal attack.

No. And I grew up with a German shepherd
Still wouldn't go near an XL bully

Sorry I disagree. A mother could say yes and still not lock up the dog behind your back. Who suffers? Your dd. But you would be fine to take that risk with your dd, I assume

I am impressed you take people's word at face value. I work in compliance. I have seen enough of what happens behind the scenes to know I don't know everything about human nature.

I went out of my way to say a mother and family I trust. Of course I wouldn't agree on face value. The trust element is important

@Bonneylass No- I'd never put any child at risk from an XL or Pitbull.

They can flip in a second, and kill, even in the family who own them.

When DS was a baby, I was visiting a friend at her parent's house- the parents had a border collie who flew at my son- it came bolting into the room- and only my quick reaction protected him from a nasty bite.

No way would I be allowing a chid into a house with an XL in it.

just be honest, say you don't want your son to be near any XL bully. if they don't understand, then not worth the friendship.

It's not a breed. That's half the problem. There's no proper breed standard. It's a crossbreed made up of any variety of American Pitbull Terrier, American Bulldog, English Bulldog and Cane Corso.

So you end up with the unpredictable nature and physical strength from say the Cane Corso mixed with the prey drive of a Pitbull. Bred mostly by irresponsible backyard breeders with no genetic testing, no care given to the temperament of the parents or improving the breed and this is the shitshow you create.

Generations of large powerful dogs with unstable temperaments, half of them unneutered. What could possibly go wrong! And until there are tighter restrictions and more regulations on breeding dogs it will just continue to happen. XL bullies will die out and another breed will take their place.

"A mother could say yes and still not lock up the dog behind your back. Who suffers? Your dd. But you would be fine to take that risk with your dd, I assume"

Equally this statement? A person says they can drive, they have insurance, aren't drunk- sometimes you let your children get in cars with others. Those you trust. They are taking your and their kids to the cinema/ party. The trust bit is VERY important. You are right that human behaviour isn't predictable nor are people honest. But the point is you trust them- no?

Just tell her the truth.

Surely she'd understand?

I own a small Whippet and if someone said they would worry about their child ,I would 100% understand.

Not every person trusts dogs, and they are probably wise to be this way.

What is wrong with her that she thinks parents might be willing to take such a risk given what's on the news?

Before you decide..here is what ONE BITE by an XL Bully did to a 12 year old girl in Wales recently.

{I have masked the image , but the girl's parents wanted it shared to raise awareness.
When these bite, it's not little puncture wounds.

I wouldn’t bother being honest. There is no reasoning with people about this subject. I’d just make up an excuse.

Out of the 17 deaths caused by XL Bullies in the last three years, 13 were adults, many of them fit, healthy men. So I’m not sure that being supervised by adults makes a difference. As much as I think any parent bringing a dog like this into the house is mad, some of the parents fought really hard to save their child once the dog attacked but there was nothing they could do.

Jesus [shocked]

She was fortunate to survive that although I imagine she didn’t feel fortunate.

I cannot understand why pp on here are advocating making excuses/minimising the actual issue. This woman (mother of three DC) is practically criminial in her deluded denial of the danger her own children are in. There is absolutely no reason to not say openly to her that you don't think her dog is safe. It could be the wake-up call she needs to protect her own DC. Aren't these dogs illegal anyway now?

It won't surely come as a surprise to this woman that having this breed of dog is going to make other parents reluctant to send their children to her house? If you have a breed that's designated as dangerous, and which is required to be muzzled in public, said members of public won't be rushing to your house.

Have I missed a post about the woman who owns the dog?

I wouldn’t trust the judgment of someone who owned an XL Bully at all, never mind also with children in the house. So for that reason alone there is no way I’d let my child go.

I’d have to be honest though, and say it was because of the dog. If she had a problem, with that, she’s not lovely and you’re not missing out.