Play date in XL Bully house

[Bonneylass]

School mum has invited my son over to play. They own an XL bully. Apparently it’s a lovely dog and they have 3 kids at home. I really don’t want him to go, I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. Is it best to make up an excuse or just be honest? Interested to hear from owners of XL bullies how you would react to this. She’s a lovely lady and ideally I don’t want to piss her off.

Did you not see the paper the other day????

Say no, because of the dog

Not a chance in hell.

I’d prioritise my child’s safety over offending people any day of the week. Tbh I would be questioning her judgement to have one of those dogs around her own kids.

I don’t understand why she would want to take the risk. If I had a dog like that I would provide you with reassurance by saying I would keep the dog separate. I think this is part of the problem with these breeds that the owners just assume their dog is lovely n stead of managing risk in a sensible way

No no no.
We have 3 dogs and I always tell people what breed they are. We don't host many play dates. These are small/medium breeds never been a problem but one barks and I appreciate that some people find that scary. I would not let my DD go to a play date with large dogs of guarding or bully breeds, and an XL bully would be a hands down no way.

Suggest a play date at a park.
And be honest and have a chat with her.

Don’t worry about ‘pissing her off’ Your sons safety comes first.

I would be honest and simply say I’m not comfortable with my child being around that breed of dog. Could you invite that child to your home instead?

I’d be very clear that it’s the dog that’s the reason. XL bully owners need to understand what other people think of their choice of ‘pet’.

I’d be polite but clear - and emphasise that her DC is welcome at yours.

But how can you trust them? I wouldn’t trust their judgement at all!

No I’m sorry. That is impossible because of the dog. Would your dc like to come here instead?

No further justification needed.

A visiting child is at far greater risk than a resident child. Your friend is an idiot, her own DC are living on borrowed time. She is putting her desire to be edgy above her children's lives.

If multiple people tell her they or their DC can’t come round because of her dog, she might have a rethink about having it around her own children.

So yes, tell her clearly “thank you but no, because you have a dangerous dog”.

Definitely tell her why, she needs to realise the consequences of her decision to own a killing machine.

All XL bully dogs dog owners think they are lovely dogs who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Until they attack someone.

My neighbour thought it would be a good idea to rescue one..beautiful dog and i felt sorry for it but i told my son he could no longer go in their garden and play with their kids..better safe than sorry

Absolutely no. I’ve been in this situation before. My son asked his friend if they could put the dog in a room if he came over and his friend said no as apparently that was a lovely dog! I also asked about 6 friends/work colleagues what they would do - all said no. I explained it to my son (8 at the time) and he decided he didn’t want to go because of the dog.

As I said to my son, it’s my job to keep him safe and if he went it would probably be ok but I couldn’t risk it not being ok.

As no trustworthy and responsible dog owner (xl bully, Labrador or Yorkshire terrier!) would leave children alone with ANY dog

You already know an XL Bully owner isn't responsible though...no further proof needed.

Nope, ds3 wouldn't be stepping through the front door, ever. Not if the dog was leashe, crated, it doesn't matter.

My eldest two dc are 16 and 14. Even at their ages they know that an XL Bully house is not a safe place and if they're ever with a friend who happens to have one they need to make an excuse and leave.

Just be honest. A little girl has just died after an attack from her beloved xl pet.
i looked after a baby xl cross puppy for a while, as a favour to a poorly friend who’d rescued the pup.
it was a fucking monster , even As a young pup, and terrorised my own dog , so much so that I couldn’t leave them alone together in a room, one either being in a cage or shut in another room at night and I ended up walking them separately as it was so vicious , territorial and tenacious. And really strong at just a few months old.
i was glad when the owners got rid of it as I was in constant fear for their own small children and what might happen as it grew bigger or if they antagonised it.
and that was just a cross breed.

My son is older and his friend has an XL Bully. I have told him he is never to go in his house but his friend is always welcome here.

As he is older I have never had the conversation with his mum as they make their own arrangements, but in your case I would say no and that I was nervous of big dogs or something as I'm probably not brave enough to be blunt about it.

Nope. Note ever. Your child is a stranger to that dog so could easily trigger the XL protective traits that seem to underpin their aggression.

Just no.

XL bully owners are by definition untrustworthy because at best they have poor judgment. Why would you put your child at risk to avoid offending someone?

No never. Suggest a playdate in the park instead.

I would be honest, otherwise this situation will crop up again and the excuses will run dry.

I'd never send my DD to a house with an XL bully, especially having been attacked by a small dog, which was difficult enough to deter. Those dogs were bred specifically to rip living things apart, and they can turn without warning.

As a (small) dog owner myself I wouldn't be offended if someone didn't feel comfortable around my dog, if she's a reasonable person she should understand.

No chance in hell.
Not if there's an XL bully or even other breeds I am not sure about. Just not worth the risk, ever.
I am an animal lover but increasingly find how deluded dog owners are about their dogs. Just the mere owning of certain breeds would me question whether I'd want them people anywhere near my children or myself at all.

Not a chance in he'll. And I'd be wondering in which other ways her judgement was lacking. The kid can play at your house.

No you cannot send your child there. I would offer to host instead or arrange to meet up at the park.