Play date in XL Bully house

[Bonneylass]

School mum has invited my son over to play. They own an XL bully. Apparently it’s a lovely dog and they have 3 kids at home. I really don’t want him to go, I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. Is it best to make up an excuse or just be honest? Interested to hear from owners of XL bullies how you would react to this. She’s a lovely lady and ideally I don’t want to piss her off.

I would say no and offer to host.

There are some situations where I think people should let things slide and maybe make up excuses as to why you can't/don't want to go somewhere but in this instance I would not be doing any of that. I would even start off the conversation by telling her that you already know she is going to be pissed off or even slag you off to the other mums but there's no fucking way you would knowingly let your kid go and play in a house where there is a dog like that and that is the end of it. It might be a lovely family dog and it might live to a lovely old age without as much as sniffing at a kid and I hope that's the case but it's all lovely until it isn't and that's a risk that nobody should be taking with these dogs.

You’d rather risk your child being torn apart and another news story than piss off this so-called friend? Who keeps an XL Bully with children anyways? They’re all lovely until they aren’t.

I have to say I am always baffled by how defensive XL bully owners are about their dogs . I find the whole “ they are a big softy , wouldn’t hurt a fly “ mentality really odd .

No way.
The idea that you would risk your child’s life so that you don’t piss off the parent is alien to me.

Absolute no, I’m surprised you need to ask.

I wouldn't go to a house with one in myself never mind let my child. I'd just tell her you are not comfortable with the dog . You won't be the only one

She was asking for advice on what to tell the parent.

She doesn’t need to agonise over what to say. No is enough.

I voted YABU, but only because I can’t even believe you’d even consider this. No way. Never.

I would just be honest, you don’t want your child around a banned breed.

I wouldn’t feel at all embarrassed about saying it either .

No way.

No, I wouldn’t, no way. I am a big animal lover but these friendly family pets do attack. One of the poor children killed by an XL bully was on a play date. I’d just be honest, surely she’s going to have many people decline for the same. Offer to host at your house instead.

One of my children’s friends parents doesn’t let her have play dates at my house as I have dogs (currently a 16 year old spaniel, a 10 year old spaniel and a 2 year old golden retriever).

TBH I found the parents very sensible when they explained they weren’t’ comfortable with it. Dogs would have been in the garden/kitchen and kids in the playroom - but that’s not the point. The parents weren’t happy and that’s their choice. Sadly, I doubt OP will get the same response but it is 100% the right choice.

Ridiculous that she asked you in the first place. What parent would possibly say yes?!

Massive dog lover here. Rescued many in my life. Answer would be no and I would be honest as to why. Tell her you heard the news about the “loving” XL Bully who killed the ten year old girl in Malton last Friday and feel too anxious to let your child go round. Be honest. It’s ok.

Nope no way would I let my child go. Xl bully owners have blinkers on and come out with the mantra it's the owner not the dog. They are not expecting their dog to turn as big softys etc. I was told by one small dogs are just as bad but no one has a problem with them. I have a yorkie she is an asshole with small dog syndrome difference is I can scoop her up with one hand and stop her. Still wouldn't leave her unattended with a child. No dog is to be trusted.

They are all 'lovely dogs' apparently. It is familiar with the 3 kids but yours is a stranger spelling danger.

You are the responsible adult and its an easy decision

I have a cockapoo and someone said their dc was scared and didn’t come around. I was not offended.
Never in a million years would I let my dc go anywhere near a xlbully. They don’t discriminate who they maul, adults and children.

No and I'd say why. I would never take the risk, that dog could turn and you'd never forgive yourself.

Like you, I just couldn't allow this.

I'd also be truthful about the reason because she'll ask for play dates again in the future if you're not.

This is the point isn’t it? It’s not necessarily about the dogs breed (although I think OP would be mad to led her child go) - if you’re not happy with your child being in a house with strange dogs, then don’t let them go. Responsible dog owners will understand and have no issues and if the woman IS angry about it, then OP was even more correct in her decision.

May I be the 94th person to say this is what to tell her?

You can trust a person to be in control of a car. You can’t trust a person to be in control of an XL Bully - they cannot be controlled.

OP - good choice in avoiding at all costs. Be truthful though or you’ll keep getting invites. Maybe suggest play date at yours instead.

I wouldn't be going as an adult let alone send a child.