Play date in XL Bully house

[Bonneylass]

School mum has invited my son over to play. They own an XL bully. Apparently it’s a lovely dog and they have 3 kids at home. I really don’t want him to go, I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. Is it best to make up an excuse or just be honest? Interested to hear from owners of XL bullies how you would react to this. She’s a lovely lady and ideally I don’t want to piss her off.

I would just say no; I wouldn't risk my DC like that for the sake of a play date. Invite the child to your house instead.

Some people are very vocal and very fixed in their views that ‘it’s the owner, not the breed.’

Gemma Atkinson is one. She’s an actress and model, but also presents the toddler club on CBeebies so I can see why some might look to her as an ‘expert.’ There are others. It’s bloody irresponsible . This is from the RSPCA and mentions ‘how they look’ as if it’s solely appearance that was the driver for the ban and not numerous horrible deaths.

Some people, some of them maybe not the brightest but with hearts in the right place, so genuinely believe that if the dog is treated with kindness and gentleness it will respond in kind but animals can be unpredictable at the best of times and XL Bullies are just so big that if they turn, the consequences are serious. They do seem to have a streak of aggression in them anyway but even if we accept the argument that they are no different to any dog, there’s still a difference in a minnow nibbling my toe and a great white shark.

The whole thing is horrible. Children who should not have died, adults who were doing nothing wrong but going about their business - I think one was visiting his elderly mum. Horrible.

I wouldn't care about pissing her off.

Ok sounds like the consensus is honesty is the best policy. I generally try and avoid confrontation / drama with the school mums as don’t want it to impact my kids’ relationships. Will report back! Thank you for commenting and helping

You also said you don't own an XL Bully.

You are naive reckless to think that your judgment of who you can trust and the nature of an XL Bully is infallible. You would stick to those guns even if you are directly risking your dd's safety. Interesting. I hope you are right.

Careful with that.. IME people with XL bullies spout the biggest delusions about how amazing they are and get highly offended if anyone suggests otherwise.

You could be honest, but if you don't want any awkwardness just make up an excuse. I would never send my child to a house with an XL bully in it, I absolutely love dogs and have three but I think this breed is an abomination and anyone who choses to own one is deluded.

And anyone saying 'well if it is okay with their own kids then it will be okay with any kid' are just as stupid as the people that own them, dogs can easily feel threatened or frightened by strange children they don't know who may make sudden movements or get excited, these dogs kill their 'own' children if they decide to, so strange children wouldn't stand a chance.

^^This is exactly what I was going to say. There have been so many deaths and serious injuries from adorable, big softie XL bullies who "might lick you to death" but pose absolutely no threat to anyone that you have to wonder about a mother of three who owns one.

Adore all dogs and don't have any fear of larger breeds. Would I let my child go and play in the home of a child with an XL bully not a chance.

A risk not worth taking in my opinion, people are overly confident in terms of thinking their dog wouldn't hurt anyone. Children are unpredictable, dogs are unpredictable, other children's parents are unpredictable. Have the friend over to yours and be honest with the mum. The fact she is prepared to have an XL bully in the house with her own children tells you all you need to know.

Who cares? If they're stupid enough to have an XL Bully in a household with kids, and invite others over, quite frankly I wouldn't give a shit about offending them.

Let them spout what they wish. Imo every parent should refuse play dates and maybe then they'll get the message. Unfortunately the liklihood is that if/when these monsters flip it will be against the non resident kid 1st. It's absolutely an attack waiting to happen. Let the parent gob off, hopefully to the backs of other parents as they turn away

Anybody who owns an XL bully in a house with children is not someone I trust to keep my child safe. Their attitude to risk would be wildly different to mine. They could promise dog would be crated, in a different room, supervised, muzzled or whatever else - even if they had the best intentions I simply wouldn’t believe they wouldn’t momentarily forget, carelessly let it out or otherwise expose my kid to the dog. It boils down to I don’t think responsible dog owners own XL bullies.

To use your analogy my children are occasionally driven by their friend’s parents - parents I have known for a while, who have similar rules and views on child safety matters as I do. I observe them using car seats for their kids and driving a sensible car. If a perfectly nice parent who I otherwise liked screeched up with her kids jumping about loose in the backseat of a pimped out hatchback with the bass blaring and an exhaust I could hear from three blocks away then she could promise she’d drive carefully and my kid would always wear a seatbelt but my child would not be getting in that car.

I'm sure it's the lovely lady that owns the dog.

No, no, no

'lovely dog'

Until when?

Strip it all back and it's 'your DC dying' versus 'hurting the feelings of a lady who seems really nice'.

You don't want either but if the worst DID happen, could you ever live with your decision?

I’ve had Labradors for the last 20 years whilst my children grew up. Big soft family friendly Labradors who never showed any signs of aggression. I always put them in the garden/kitchen when we had any visiting children. There’s no point in taking any risk, for the dogs sake too. I would understand any parent who didn’t want their children around my dogs. It’s not unreasonable.

?

No way and I would seriously judge someone for having one. Sorry but you have to be as thick as pigshit to have one, especially around children.

Not a hope in hell I'd be agreeing to it. Less than 1% of dogs in the UK are XL bullies, but they're responsible for 65% of fatal dog attacks.

It isn't even about children being unsupervised either because if an XL attacks a child I don't know what you think an adult is going to be able to do about it.

Do you have a dog? I'd just say he's not keen on dogs so would X like to come to ours instead.

No way and I'd tell her why nicely. I have no shame. I was invite to dinner told ex bully would be secured away from guest. Got to the front door he was roaming around. I said sorry we can't stay and left.

FFS

Hard No.

No fucks given about offending people.

Like someone further up the thread has posted. I would never trust someone who has chosen to have one of these dogs with the safety of my child. Be honest with the reason why and don’t back down. Trust your instincts OP. I just can’t understand how any sane person of rational thinking would keep one of these dogs in the same house as a child.

https://banthebullyxluk.wordpress.com/2023/08/01/finding-kimbo/

Read this. It's very interesting.

And my answer to would I let my DC be near one - is a resounding 'no'.

I understand where you're coming from, but I wouldn't even trust an XL in the presence of responsible adult, particularly given the most recent tragedy.

Just say you/he is worried about the dog. It’s normal I think - I had a dog growing up and some of my friends didn’t feel comfortable coming over.