Breastfeeding a stranger’s child

[grou]

I was recently told of a friend’s friend who under very specific circumstances was compelled to breastfeed a complete stranger’s baby. I find the concept quite disturbing. Think remote, small airport. One rug shop for duty free. But then again a starving baby is a starving baby.

As far as I am aware there were really no alternative options available.

It's only disturbing for those people who believe the primary reason for breasts is connected to sex.

@MimiSunshine I think you're spot on there.

It's a weird thought but actually ... a starving baby and a airport with no facilities ... I may have made the same decision when breastfeeding. There was certainly enough to go round! The breastfeeding woman could have prevented a baby from getting dehydrated and seriously unwell.

This reminds me of that episode of Friends where Joey is totally comfortable licking his arm after testing how warm Ben’s EBM but Ross is horrified… It doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable at all. A hungry baby is a hungry baby. I would feel compelled to help in that situation.

theres some confusion here. There’s a difference between a child drinking your donated milk (out of a bottle) and being breastfed.

Me too.

I'd be happy feeding a hungry baby if there was no other option.

And tbh if my newborn was hungry and I wasn't there then I find another woman's breastmilk much more natural than artifical ultra processed cows milk formula. Obviously don't object to formula either but find it odd some would prefer that to something actually made for babies.

It’s interesting that some find it disturbing which is a very strong reaction. I can’t really get my head around why it would be disturbing. I wonder what the difference is.

I also see no difference between donated milk in a bottle and mill straight form the breast. Other than one is fresher!

I have one friend who I know I would have fed her child and she would have fed mine but the situation never arose.

My youngest was born in the middle east and I donated my whole stash when we moved back. There was no official milk bank there so it was back door fb marketplace dealings so none of the milk was tested as such, they just had to trust me. One lady who collected was Muslim and told me that because I had fed her child our children were milk siblings and could not marry. I find that pretty cool that this bond exists with my children and these children.

Milk is milk. Getting safe milk into the infant that needs it is what matters.

Yes a difference but not a significant one to everyone. That's not confusion, just not as big a difference to everyone.

This… or at least skip the last chapter!

I once swapped babies with my sister, because hers was sick and a bit off his fodder, and mine was in a growth spurt and voracious. I was low on milk and she was engorged, so we just swapped for a day. Worked great. Would have done it with any other consenting mum had it made sense…

I'm assuming the emergency scenario was something like the mother had been taken away in an ambulance and the dad was left with a screaming baby who he had no way of feeding or rehydrating. Still feel resentful if someone else managed to help your child?

I still breastfeed my 11 month old, never had formula. If I think if a hungry small baby upset I would 1000000% feed them. No questions asked. But if I think about a stranger breastfeeding my child my instincts are like noooooooo! So I can get both sides really.

I also donated milk while still in hospital (1980) we joked that my milk was Gold Top.

I would have no qualms about breastfeeding another baby in an emergency.

In the broad spectrum of baby feeding practices across culture and time, feeding a stranger's hungry baby from one's breast is surely far more normal than feeding an industrially produced product from a plastic teat?

And I'm pretty sure that 99.9% of women across cultures and time would choose to feed a stranger's hungry baby as a simple human kindness. I find it a bit disturbing that people are repulsed by that.

To be honest I’d find it harder as the mum of the baby but needs must I would assume

What was the situation? Had the other mother collapsed or disappeared? I just can’t see how it would happen.

In an emergency fair enough. There’s that highly
disturbing scene at the end of The Grapes of Wrath when Ruth breastfeeds her father who is dying of starvation.

I’d be annoyed it would mess up my milk supply, though!

I applaud that woman, that was a beautiful thing to do for a stranger and her child.

Providing all parties consented, I can't see the issue. Unless of course the breast is being regarded as entirely sexual rather than mutually productive with its principle function being to satisfy the appetite of a baby needing nutrition.

@Lemonadeand I think it's a stranger Ruth feeds in the Grapes of Wrath, not her dad

So you'd leave a baby to starve rather than offer them your breast? 🤦‍♀️ Wow!

Actually is it Ruth or Rose ...? (Getting side tracked here!)