Breastfeeding a stranger’s child

[grou]

I was recently told of a friend’s friend who under very specific circumstances was compelled to breastfeed a complete stranger’s baby. I find the concept quite disturbing. Think remote, small airport. One rug shop for duty free. But then again a starving baby is a starving baby.

As far as I am aware there were really no alternative options available.

Agree

I wonder whether the distaste of feeding another child is actually rooted in conflating breastfeeding and the sexualisation of women’s breasts? If the child is hungry isn’t it a basic instinct to help? Wet nurses were used for many years.

Would you prefer your baby to not be fed?

I would do it in similar circumstances, but then I don't really find breastfeeding the great intimate bonding experience that some do. It's a means to an end. I'd see it in the same way as offering food to a weaned baby if we had plenty and they had none.

Some years ago a friend with an oversupply shared with a friend of hers who didn't produce enough, although that was via expressing rather than physically feeding. They lived in a country where it's an unremarkable thing to do though.

People donate their breast milk to milk banks. It's fine

That milk is screened though, so you know it’s safe. And it’s then provided to recipient babies via a tube or bottle. Very different to a stranger sticking a baby on their breast.

I haven't and never will breastfeed a child but however much I understand why some might balk at such a thing I find it sad that anyone would be disturbed by a mother helping a mother but more importantly helping a baby. This is, in every sense, what humans are for.

I haven't even had a kid... and yet the concept of not breast feeding a hungry baby that isn't mine, if thats the only option, is absolutely alien to me (assuming I were able to do so).

I cannot comprehend the idea of refusing to do so, if you could feed the baby, on the basis that it isn't your child. That someone could just let a baby starve. Thats horrific.

My mum was quite happy to tell me that when I was tiny I was breast fed by one of her friends, and same friends baby was breast fed by her (they sat for each other a fair bit, this wasn't some random baby swapping party!).

This seems an example of how successful the sexualisation of breasts has been and the disassociation to their true purpose.

we see formula as a sanitised, safe and acceptable option in ‘polite society’ and people really balk at it being pointed out to be powered cow bodily fluid intended for baby cows (I drink cows milk) because quite rightly that gives us the ick.

where as shared breastfeeding now gives us the ick because as much a breastfeeding is encouraged. Society says that it’s a wonderful bonding experience between mother and child. Yes it is but that is really only playing into the sexualisation by essentially letting babies borrow the breasts. And why generally society gets the ick when babies start reaching age 1 and feeding goes beyond babyhood into toddlerhood.

the patriarchal society wants its boobs back when babies stop looking like helpless babies.

My friend breastfed my hungry baby when I was stuck in a transport situation unexpectedly. Baby was hungry, she had milk. Life went on. She said it was an amazing experience actually. I still haven't told my son.

Beautiful.

I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I think that's a lovely thing to do under the circumstances. Sounds like it's just given you the ick but it wouldn't bother me.

I would if there was no alternative but I think I’d feel very awkward. I breast fed both of mine until 18 months and enjoyed it all.

I think in some cultures this is much more normal. I watched a documentary on this years ago and children raised at the same breast were considered milk siblings in Middle East. In the U.S. there was a bf circle who would routinely feed each others babies, tribes of people in South America would feed any hungry child who wanted a milk cuddle.

I did bf all my own dc though till 2. So 6 years of bf, last lot were twins with a dairy allergy so definitely by the end I’d lost any ick factor or of intimacy between mother and child. It was just a pretty practical way of getting nutrition into a child. I never bf anyone else’s child but I’d of helped out had the circumstances warranted it. You could also express into a cup and syringe / spoon feed in a pinch.

I did once, my friend took her husband to hospital and left her baby with me, was only a few weeks younger than mine and only 3 months old. Didn't bother me, she asked me to.
My Nan fed a neighbours baby back in the 40's. The mother died and Nan had a baby. My Mum said she could remember the neighbours children bringing it around in a red metal trolley thing. Nan did say she didn't like doing it much but it was what you did, you helped out.

I come from a culture that this is normal and my sisters have all breastfed my baby
Really don't see the issue and comes in handy as I exclusively breastfeed

I remember discussing this with my NCT group when we all had newborns and were all breastfeeding. We all had to answer if we'd rather feed another baby or have our babies fed by someone else. Consensus was rather feed another baby but either would be OK if needed.

I would do this to help someone if I could.

It's just feeding a baby.

I would have done if asked and a hungry baby, and parent was completely on board with it. I don’t think it would feel that odd to me, and as we know it used to be very common.

I think it’s wonderful. Maybe you’re thinking of breasts in a sexual way and that’s the reason?

Humans are the only animals to drink milk after infancy and not even our own mother’s milk so if we cut the supermarket out we’re essentially sucking on a cow’s breast while her poor baby has been removed for veal which I know gives more people the ick.

Look up ‘wet nurse’.

Compelled?????

Opted to under various circumstances perhaps, but compelled.

Are you saying she was forced to?

This

Humans are the only animals to drink milk after infancy and not even our own mother’s milk so if we cut the supermarket out we’re essentially sucking on a cow’s breast

No, we are not. What’s come out of the cows breast has gone through a process of pasteurisation, to make it safe for consumption. Same with milk powder used in baby formula (I breastfed but just pointing this out for someone who said cow breastmilk is in baby formula), it has also gone through a pasteurisation process prior to being dried/powdered.

Human milk that has gone through milk banks has been both pasteurised and screened - look it up. It is safe, and there is zero issue. Milk from Janet down the road, who knows.

Do you drink cow's milk? Or eat cheese?

I donated to a milk bank which supplied the NICU one of my DCs spent four months in.

I’d feed a hungry baby that wasn’t mine without a second thought if there wasn’t an alternative.

I’m sure 99.9% of people with the ability to breastfeed wouldn’t consider doing it if they knew they had something transmissible.

I don’t think it’s disturbing. People used to do it all the time (wet nurses). And it’s more natural than drinking cows milk. I doubt I will ever be in this situation but I would be happy to breastfeed someone else’s baby if they were hungry and there was nothing else available. Why would I just sit there and watch a child suffer when I can help? That would be far more disturbing.