Ruined the wedding dress i was going to send back

[whathaveidonehelp]

Oh mumsnetters I'm hoping you can help me.

I'm getting married soon, and ordered a selection of dresses from John Lewis.

One dress arrived in a box, and as soon as i got it out i could smell it had been worn (BO). Took it back to the store same day, spoke to the manager, refund organised. Stay with me...

Try on another dress (also from john lewis). Got my daughter to take a couple of photos but it wasn't right, and was too small. Walked through to the bedroom and to my horror there is dark make up on the chest. It's a cream shimmery fabric. I have absolutely no idea how that happened, but it must have been my fault as the photo DD took had no mark on the dress.

Not content with messing it up, in my panic i tried to blot it gently and made it worse.

I'm on a budget. We can't afford a big do, I'm happy with that but I've just thrown £500 down the toilet. Ive already taken one dress back saying it was soiled and asked them to make a note to ensure it's not attributed to me.

Is there anything i can?

A tip for anyone trying these kinds of things on at home: put a clean flat sheet on the floor first and stay on it when wearing the dress. Don't wear make up and wash your hands first.

This is just one of the many reasons why with an important purchase like a wedding dress it's so much better to go and try on in-store! Even if you had had to pay for a night's accommodation for say you and your DD to wedding dress shop, it would probably have cost you less than this.

Is the dress your dream dress if it was cleaned and altered?

Fucking hell there are some pretend 'holier than thou' posters on this thread. It's 'cheeky' to order multiple options to try on. 'A lot of work' will have gone into making the dress. Not fair of the OP to 'take advantage of JL's potential generosity'. And it would be 'so unfair' to the next person to buy the dress if OP had it dry cleaned and returned it. Why???? It would be clean!!!

Honestly you lot, have a day off. I know none of you actually think this bullshit, you just love having a dig on AIBU.

Of course it's OK, it is literally built into the business model. Once people have something physically in their possession they are more likely to feel the loss of it psychologically and not want to return is, as opposed to when they don't have it, they are more likely to be OK with passing op the opportunity to have it.
By encouraging online sales shops save a fortune on providing an actual shop, which needs staffing and security and cleaners.
Many shops encourage you to buy 2 sizes and return one. They make a few extra quid disorganisation tax from those who only get halfway through those 2 stages (plus sales that would have been returned but were involved in freak make up accidents.
I hope they accept it, OP!

That’s unethical - you can’t do that!

Why is it cheeky to order multiple dresses? What a ridiculous thing to say.

Absolutely agree with everything you've just said! Some ridiculous comments here.

Shaving foam removes foundation stains.

How is it cheeky? I’ve just ordered 4 pairs of jeans. Kept 2. Are you suggesting it’s less cheeky to order each pair as a separate transaction until I find the pair/pairs that suit? Bizarre.

If you like it enough, yes to getting it altered! So sorry this happened. What a shock.

In moving around the UK, I've found South Asian dress shops may have tailors and seamstresses who can do intricate work, and small family-run Eastern European alteration shops. Is there anything like that within reasonable travelling distance of you? There are also some chains that do mending or dry cleaning and mending but they are not as good and can be expensive.

Perhaps someone on Etsy who sews might be able to help?

Oxfam specialises in wedding dress resale but you might want a new one.

Comments like that do make me laugh. Cheeky? Ridiculous. The stores allow it, actively encourage it. Honestly 🙄

Water wipe or baby wipe. Then send it back job done

@Teenie22 unethical my arse 😂

i also had a very bad experience with John Lewis. I ordered several dresses from different places and one of them was from John Lewis. All were fine but When I opened the package from John Lewis I could immediately smell that the dress had been worn. There was a smell of BO and stale perfume. I immediately took it back to Waitrose to return to John Lewis. A week later a parcel was delivered and it was the dress I had sent back to them. When I telephoned JL to ask why this had been sent back I was told there was a problem as I had worn the dress. I was really angry. I took the dress to my. Nearest Waitrose and showed them the label that was still attached and the documents of receiving the dress and the fact that I had returned it the same day. Luckily I had an understanding Manager who believed me and took the dress. After sometime I did receive a refund. This was in 2018. I cant believe this is still happening. People working at John Lewis must be wearing the clothes and then sending it out to customers.

What a strange attitude you have

Do you have accidental damage cover on your home or bank/credit card insurance?

You may be able to claim for accidental damage on your house insurance.

Im having my dress adjusted to make the bust bigger by adding triangles of fabric in the seams, straps added, and maybe slightly taken up. The seamstress has estimated it’ll cost between £200-£350 but can’t give an exact quote until she’s seen me in the dress. She said having a corset back would be a lot cheaper so it may not be as much as you think!

If you go down this route, find a seamstress ASAP. Where I am, they get booked up in advance of wedding season even though they don’t do the alterations til 6-12 weeks before your wedding.

Also, for the people saying check measurements, that only works if your body is relatively in proportion! Mine definitely isn’t so nothing comes in my measurements and it’s hard to visualise how a compromise to get something on will impact on the look.

Yes exactly this. I find a lot of mumsnet comments are filled with views that I literally have never come across in a real life person and it baffles me.

So you wouldn't accept a dress that was smelling of BO but you're happy to send a stained dress back for someone else to have?

I'm disabled and trying on in shops is impossible for me so I order several items for size/style online. I wouldn't return something I'd damaged. It would be cleaned/repaired and sent to a charity shop if unsuitable.

I'd be gutted if online sales were pulled because of the way some people here think it's okay to treat buying and returning.

Why is it cheeky?

I bought my wedding dress online while pregnant - obviously sizing was a nightmare so I bought about 8 and returned 7. There was no physical store to go to and I needed to try different styles as well as sizes.

This is a totally normal thing to do. How else is someone supposed to get the right thing online? Was she supposed to order one dress and suck it up if it was the wrong size or didn't suit her?!

OP - you have my sympathy. These things happen.

I'd advise you try a baby wipe as they are brilliant and removing mist stains from clothes.

If that doesn't work I'd risk washing it. I had my wedding dress altered and the seamstress said she washes all her clothing, everything. I washed my silk wedding dress after my wedding day and it looks perfect. Use delicate detergent, be very gentle and do it by hand, of course. You don't have much to lose if the dress is ruined. I'd try just the bodice and see how it goes.

Also agree on trying a seamstress. Mine was amazing and put several little finishing touches to my shop-bought dress that just made it look amazing. If you're in the south east message me and I'll give you her details. She charged £40/hr I think. Most places will give free consultations so worth exploring.

Eh? How on earth is that ‘cheeky’?!

How would Op know which dress would fit and flatter her before trying on? It’s not as if stores bother to standardise their sizes. You might have half a point if they did, but they don’t, so we have no clue if something will fit before receiving it.

Shops offering an online service save ££££ as they need fewer retail premises. Needing to send customers multiple items in the knowledge some will be returned is just the quid pro quo of that. Shops can’t have it all ways.

I really don't think you need to worry about returns being cancelled because a small number of people return damaged goods. The system has been around for a while now.

Can everyone please remember that if the OP tries to return it (whether stained or cleaned) the shop may examine the item and refuse to refund her? In other words, she won't be sneaking it back on the shelves and helping herself to money from the till! And also if they do refund her and resell it, the next person who buys it will have the opportunity to look at it and see if they're happy with it before their wedding day?

People are acting like she's adopted a dog, injured it and is planning to return it.

My advice for what it’s worth is to return the dress to John Lewis and see what they say. They will either accept the return or not. If they do your problem is solved and if they don’t you can decide what to try next. You won’t be the first person to return a damaged item and I’d hazard a guess that many who do don’t say a word about it
They definitely don’t if they mark things in store because it’s not unusual to find clothing on the rails with make up round the neck
A dry cleaners should be able to remove the stain without any issue. Our local dry cleaners did wonders with my sisters all lace wedding dress before she sold it. They charged £80 which also included a small invisible repair to the lace where it had caught on someone’s jewellery. This was half the price a specialist wedding dress cleaning company had quoted and it came back looking as new, even the underneath of the train where the dirt looked to be ingrained.