Ruined the wedding dress i was going to send back

[whathaveidonehelp]

Oh mumsnetters I'm hoping you can help me.

I'm getting married soon, and ordered a selection of dresses from John Lewis.

One dress arrived in a box, and as soon as i got it out i could smell it had been worn (BO). Took it back to the store same day, spoke to the manager, refund organised. Stay with me...

Try on another dress (also from john lewis). Got my daughter to take a couple of photos but it wasn't right, and was too small. Walked through to the bedroom and to my horror there is dark make up on the chest. It's a cream shimmery fabric. I have absolutely no idea how that happened, but it must have been my fault as the photo DD took had no mark on the dress.

Not content with messing it up, in my panic i tried to blot it gently and made it worse.

I'm on a budget. We can't afford a big do, I'm happy with that but I've just thrown £500 down the toilet. Ive already taken one dress back saying it was soiled and asked them to make a note to ensure it's not attributed to me.

Is there anything i can?

Why on earth is it cheeky to order multiple dresses to try on??? She’s every right to compare styles & sizes. What on earth are you on about??

But really, why should they?

My daughter used this when she got married for make up stains on her wedding dress.
https://amzn.eu/d/fVM0lFR
Amazing stuff.

If the dress had not been too small would you have chosen it? If so then see if it can be altered and cleaned, like others I would suggest local seamstress.
Information for the future, if you have ordered multiple sizes or dresses on line and collect in store JL will let you try them on in the changing room.

To be honest, I don’t think cleaning the stain and returning the dress is a problem?

Can you post photos of the dress/stain? What is the composition of the dress?

maybe it’s because I don’t wear makeup that often, but I can’t understand how it would soil the dress to an extreme extent. I understand why the retailer may not accept the return but why is cleaning the mark a problem?

Well OP got a dress that reeks of BO so that'd be one reason not to do it. Seems like such a faff as well but each to their own. If you know your size it should fit.

I'm quite good at getting stains out. If the dress is white mix white toothpaste with bicarb to make a paste. Leave it on overnight then wash it out. Shaving foam is also very good

I didn’t say they should, I said they probably would. Interesting how people apparently have more empathy for a huge company that have shown they’re careless with returns anyway having sent OP a smelly dress, than for a Mum on a budget who has bought objectively cheap wedding dresses and made a mistake. Good on her that shes too honest to return it, my sympathy is with her not John Lewis

If you know your size it should fit.

Lol! Women’s clothing is notorious for not being consistent in size and wedding dresses particularly so

Dry clean the dress fgs. Then sell it on vinted etc.

well it is her wedding dress, people do much worse ordering tons of items. But I think, OP do you like the dress? Or are you settling? Maybe say what the material is? or ask someone personally like @Cantbelievethatimafoolagain. A good seamstress (if there are any left) can always make a dress work.

It isn't cheeky at all, but it is high risk with costly items that can be damaged.

I think I'm in in the minority who don't see a problem with having it spot cleaned and returning it if this can be done imperceptibly, but I really don't. Can you take it to a good cleaner (probably a bit more specialist than Johnson's) and see if they can do anything without removing the labels? Either way you'll have to clean it to sell it so you'd may as well try and get your full money back. Shops will clean makeup off clothing and put back out for sale so I don't see this as any different. Not like wearing it to the wedding and sending back.

Don't experiment in the meantime

I'd never heard of multiple ordering until I saw it on here. I've never done that. If you read the size guidance and measurements and be honest with yourself there's no need for this.

I can understand why you'd do it for a wedding dress. Can't say I've had any problems with regular clothes though, not for years anyway. I buy a lot of stuff from Next and can't remember the last time I had to return anything. Is it not annoying and time consuming having to do that?

I think most stores are happy you do that. Firstly, lots of stores now have stock that’s only available online (that means reduced costs as they’re only paying for warehouse space to keep the item, not premium retail space). How are you supposed to decide if you like something without trying it on? They expect you to order items and then return some of them. They wouldn’t do it if it didn’t make financial sense for them.

Secondly, you’re paying for the items and if you return for a refund the company will have had your money to use for a couple of weeks or longer. That’s essentially an interest free loan for them, isn’t it?

Are you serious?

Of course its a problem - they cannot sell it as new to another unsuspecting customer. And that is NOT honest!

As long as the garment is sized accurately.
Have you managed to buy a single item that fits, is exactly the colour shown online and suits you, every time you shop? If so you are rarer than hen's teeth and I am beyond envious

I can't afford to buy multiple sizes of dresses online, so I only order one at a time, send it back if it doesn't fit, then wait for the refund before ordering it in a different size.

I don't think it's cheeky to order multiple sizes though!

OP, if your dress is white you could try Daz. My daughter was flower girl at my friend's wedding, and her dress was white with burgundy piping. DD was only just five so naturally it got stained during the day of the wedding. I took it to a dry cleaner who didn't know if they'd be able to get the stains out. This was a handmade silk dress. She suggested I try washing it in Daz on a delicate cycle, and it absolutely worked!

DDs dress came out as pristine as it was when new.

I don't care about the ordering multiple dress ordering, my issue is why someone would expect a shop to refund a dress they admit to ruining themselves

Just get it dry cleaned

But surely the alternative is potentially ordering one dress at a time and returning each one separately until you find one that fits/suits? Meaning lots of separate deliveries and return couriers? Whereas ordering a few at once is actually better really - fewer deliveries, less packaging etc?

I mean, the dress is still new. I used to work in fashion retail when younger - the shop sold expensive dresses. Staff would clean makeup stains and steam the dresses if this happened after a customer tried the dress on. So I don’t think it’s an egregious issue.

I’m 5 foot 1 and very awkwardly shaped - short torso with comparatively long legs, large boobs, very narrow hips etc. I have a pretty good idea these days of the styles that suit me but even so it often takes several tries to find clothing that fits. I definitely send back more than I keep.

Very envious of taller people with a more ‘classic’ body shape who find well-fitting clothes with ease!