Ruined the wedding dress i was going to send back

[whathaveidonehelp]

Oh mumsnetters I'm hoping you can help me.

I'm getting married soon, and ordered a selection of dresses from John Lewis.

One dress arrived in a box, and as soon as i got it out i could smell it had been worn (BO). Took it back to the store same day, spoke to the manager, refund organised. Stay with me...

Try on another dress (also from john lewis). Got my daughter to take a couple of photos but it wasn't right, and was too small. Walked through to the bedroom and to my horror there is dark make up on the chest. It's a cream shimmery fabric. I have absolutely no idea how that happened, but it must have been my fault as the photo DD took had no mark on the dress.

Not content with messing it up, in my panic i tried to blot it gently and made it worse.

I'm on a budget. We can't afford a big do, I'm happy with that but I've just thrown £500 down the toilet. Ive already taken one dress back saying it was soiled and asked them to make a note to ensure it's not attributed to me.

Is there anything i can?

I wasn't cheeky or more accurately sensible when ordering bargain price pyjamas last week.
I ordered four pairs of one size, which were massive. Had I also ordered down in size as well, they wouldn't have sold out of them to replace and I wouldn't still be driving around looking to match up others. They have also since doubled in price!

we shouldn’t. Because very few of the returned items are resold- they mostly are disposed of. It’s crazy. But it is widely known to be happening so if you are at all mindful of the environmental impact of this you should avoid buying with the intention of returning.

A tag wouldn't stop it from being dry cleaned, would it?

That said, a friend of mine once bought a light coloured silk dress from Coast and it had one of those tags attached with a safety pin. Someone spilt a glass of red wine on it at a party, she had it dry cleaned, it came up good as new and she put the tag back on and returned it.

It won’t be attached with a safety pin.

I prefer the disaster dress but I would say neither.

If it were me I would probably look back at the photos in years to come and think of the stain incident when I looked at it!

I’d try to sell it personally. Unless you really loved it aside from it being too small (as mentioned in the OP), and would have got the next size up.

She’s already explained this. She’s at the back of beyond

What difference does that make to whether it can be dry cleaned?

The clothes are most definitely resold.
The problem for the retailer is when the customer keeps the clothes right up to the maximum time before returning.

That's dead stock and dead stock means no cash flow, then they can't pay suppliers. Also, as stock comes from the Far East, when its in people's homes, the retailer won't know how many of which size to replace.

I don't know why people don't send it back promptly. Mine arrives, I try it on and either keep or send back that day or next.

30 days is too long as well I think.

This.
Having worked for many fashion retail brands, when refunds are high online you look at your size guide resources. A lot of ££ is spent helping customers find the right size. Crap brands where sizing is all over the place force customers to order multiple sizes and styles.

Vanity sizing also seems to be even bigger now, it's increasing all the time.
My size hasn't changed but I'm having to return stuff as it swamps me.

https://blog.boldmetrics.com/do-you-know-what-happens-to-clothes-after-you-return-them?hs_amp=true

I'm not 100% sure where you are after being given a gift voucher and some consultations with seamstresses but if that's the disaster dress and it's still in the running, I think it's a lovely style on you, more so than the rogue dress (I prefer the back, and the cleaner lines also bust shape is more flattering). It looks a good fit in the photo so presumably isn't too far off in real life. It'll all work out fine!

I don’t like either. I wouldn’t send more money trying to fix disaster. Just keep looking for something that fits.

I was thinking that. And, without wanting to sound like I’m making the sort of comment a flippant brother would make, would losing a bit of weight help it to fit? It sounds as though you quite liked it but for the fit?

I think the disaster dress is beautiful from the back and you do spend a lot of time with your back to the congregation as a bride( now trying to imagine how mine looked from behind😕🤔

Oh just seen the updates. Love the rogue dress. Disaster dress is so unflattering, it flogged you a shiny tummy and the lace is too low down and looks strange especially as it's nowhere on the dress.
Rogue dress and sell the other one.

No it isn't. This is standard practice now that so much shopping is done online, and is built into the business models of retailers.

Rogue dress is beautiful x (sorry if that's no help!)

Agree with this. Would aslo suggest that you get some cups fitted to it as it looks like you need some support - this comment applies to both dresses.

bicarb of soda and water and let it sit on the stain - it should pull the stain out - worked on my sons extortionately expensive new white t-shirt that he decided to wear to an indian restaurant - completely removed it and that was after I had tried washing it and elbow grease

I like this dress. The back is lovely and all round more flattering

This will probably sound not that nice but whomever I've known shopping for bridal gowns seems to get snow blinded looking for perfection and it's not that ha d to find a great outcome.

The bride always looks great on the day, the dress, as long as it fits is totally secondary.

Both dresses are nice. I prefer the disaster personally but just for perspective, go with the easier to work with rather than worrying about whether details are perfect. I take it you mean a ready made beaded panel, not hand beaded?

If posters are picking holes re small details, or deciding between the two, I would, kindly and respectfully, ignore. Either dress will look great on the day if it fits. Go with the one that will incur the least overall expense at this stage (unless you really love one and not the other).

How's it any different to going in store and trying on various sizes that "it does your head in" is utterly bizarre!

I don't see how it's cheeky. If you go to a store you're able to try on multiple items, still with the same risk with make-up. Plus JL closed down many of it's stores so if there isn't one local, ordering several dresses online is a solution to trailing miles away.

But it is ok. It’s in their policy that it’s ok (obviously not when you’ve damaged it). Nobody would buy anything online if you didn’t have return options. I think there is a rule about buying online that you have to be able to return it