Would you let your 4yo choose whether to be vaccinated?

[Dramatic]

I'm talking about the flu vaccine not the infant vaccines.

Talking to a mum outside school this morning, our kids are both in reception and we were talking about them getting the flu vaccine at school in a couple of days. She then said her daughter won't be getting it because she asked her if she wanted it and her daughter said no. Is this a normal thing to do? I hadn't even thought to ask my daughter, surely they're far too young to understand the decision they're making? Would you put that choice on a child this young?

at 16 they can require to see the doctor alone and can refuse vaccinations.

Some people shouldn't own a budgie let along have kids. So called parents leting their kids tell them that they don't want to go to school or refusing medical treatment. WTAF? Oh wait a minute, they want to be besties and not upset their little darlings because your best friend doesn't tell you what time to go to bed.

Once they hit secondary school age you definitely can't hold them down and force them to get vaccinated if they are bigger than you. They also get to the point around 12-14 where it is up to them to get a vaccination as they can make decisions for themselves.

That's why you explain to them what each vaccination is for and why you get it from when they can talk in age appropriate terms they understand. This is even more relevant if your child is large for their age like some of my family, friends and friends' kids have been/are.

This is an excellent example of where giving children a voice has just gone too bloody far. A 4 year old (or 11 year old for that matter) is not equipped to be able to make those kinds of decisions and understand or appreciate the consequences. It's also raising children that turn into adults that don't appreciate there's times you just have to do what you're told not what you want, like at work.

No. Nothing more to say really.

I went to a playgroup with my son for a while and there was a mum and son there who could fall into 'let the child decide' category.

I was helping my son round the equipment and encouraging him and she looked at me coldly and said to her son, 'Sam, you NEVER have to do anything anyone tells you to.'

Her son spent much of the time crying and hiding into her and trying to breastfeed- he didn't join in with music time as 'he doesn't enjoy it'. She was also the only mum to bring her dog into the dog free play park. I suspect her child is not vaccinated.

Of course not.

Pretty certain that a 4 year old is not competent under the Gillick Competence. I would be tempted to ask the mum if she knew about that.

That's brilliant. Well done to your child and to you for bringing up a child that feels confident enough to question authority sometimes, especially regarding their body 👍

She brought her in poorly one day last term too, like really poorly. Her reasoning? The 4yo insisted on coming in because she wanted to get the attendance award at the end of the half term. Not sure whether to be more pissed off at the school or the parent for that one. Oh and half the class was then off over the next week or two with the bug.

Absolutely not - the child is not old enough to make a rational decision (Gillick competent?). Same applies for tooth cleaning. They might not like it but too bad, it’s my job to do the right thing not be popular.

I agree with you to a point, but mine will not have the option to decline the HPV vaccine, I'm not sure what age they get it but I know it's secondary school. It will be fully explained to them but it will not be presented as an option, they absolutely will be getting it.

Not if it's done at school. You get an email confirmation of vaccination.

No obviously not. I could also let my child decide what time to go to bed, what to eat for dinner every night, whether they brush their teeth, whether or not they wanted to go to school….

clearly as adults we need to make these decisions for them and then spend half our lives explaining to them why we are right and that they will thank us when they are older …

Crazy. Of course you don't ask 4 year olds their opinion on anything like this.

If I'd had the choice as a child to make medical decisions I would of refused all surgeries and would be dead now. Children don't have the capacity to make these decisions.

Not a chance in hell I would ever have let a child that age make that choice. I made it for them, they had their vaccines. End of story.

I never even gave them a choice as teenagers when some vaccines were offered in school. I signed the forms and they had them. The end.

Beyond that they made their own choices and as young adults they are now sensible about it. DD3 had to spend the third year of her languages degree course abroad and was going to South America for six months of it. She needed several travel vaccines beyond the usual for that and did have them (I know because I had to pay for them, and it wasn't cheap!!).

No- your friend is an utter moron

Parents like that drive me mad at work. (Paediatric nurse) "tarquin, will you take your antibiotics?
No:
Parent; ok then.,
Arghhhh!

No, I wouldn’t let a 4 year old decide.

I had to hold him down to have the spray up his nose as he didn’t want it done. But he doesn’t understand the necessity so I chose and it was over in seconds.

Utterly ridiculous.

Honestly can’t believe anyone would think this level of parenting is ok!

Beyond stupid.

Absolutely not. It’s the parent’s job to parent at this age and for a considerable number of years to come.

This is wild - a four year has no concept of risk versus benefit of vaccinations.

Dont be so freaking stupid.

There is a big difference between four and 14! I would give my teen the choice.

Mad! Since when do you let children make such decisions?

I dare say someone on here will now trot out the usual brainless Mumsnet-ism, ‘Her body, her choice,’ - if they haven’t already.

*brainless in this context, anyway.