Would you let your 4yo choose whether to be vaccinated?

[Dramatic]

I'm talking about the flu vaccine not the infant vaccines.

Talking to a mum outside school this morning, our kids are both in reception and we were talking about them getting the flu vaccine at school in a couple of days. She then said her daughter won't be getting it because she asked her if she wanted it and her daughter said no. Is this a normal thing to do? I hadn't even thought to ask my daughter, surely they're far too young to understand the decision they're making? Would you put that choice on a child this young?

Well the four-year-old likely has the same understanding of science as adult anti-vaxxers, so there's a certain logic to it.

Of course not

Why not let her drive herself to school too? It would be character building.

Definitely not at 4! Too many choices must make children anxious, they're so little they need you to be the parent.

No, they are a child.
You are the responsible parent taking decisions.

No. A 4 year old needs their parent to be a parent. Otherwise left to their own devices they would choose to have chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

A four year old has no idea about what a vaccination is.

However, I do applaud the child for saying no as I would never have given my children a flu jab.

Ridiculous

I guess she could, but I wouldn't believe her since she has no way to get to the doctor without me taking her. So it's not really a concern.

I’m all for letting kids make choices where that’s feasible and to have some agency but that’s so young there is no way they understand or are able to make any kind of sensible decision. At 4 choices might be want to brush your hair or your teeth first or which snack to eat/toy to play with. Even those you’d be better off not offering for some kids that small as some find even fairly simple choices overwhelming.

There is an operative word in the phrase 'informed consent' - a 4 year old isn't capable of becoming 'informed' about such issues because they're too young to understand.

At 4 I'd have said no to everything just because I didn't like needles, and probably ended up with all sorts.

At 4?
No fucking way.
What kind of parent thinks 4 year olds can make informed decisions about vaccinations?

I don't know. I have three kids, none of them has ever refused. They don't want to get it but they know it's important. I tell them they have to do it and they do.

that's neglect IMO

Won't be Gillick competent

www.themdu.com/guidance-and-advice/guides/gillick-competence#:~:text='Gillick%20competence'%20refers%20to%20a,capacity%20to%20consent%20to%20treatment.

Nope, not normal. I bet she’s one of those sorts who never says no either because it upsets dc to much. I had a mum like this. I said I wanted ice cream for breakfast, so I ate ice cream for breakfast every day for 2 years and had a lot of dental issues. She wanted an easy life and it made her anxious if ever I got upset.

Bonkers.

So effectively your 14 year old wants to, or at least they're not dead against it.

That's different to doing it just because you say so.

If they really didn't, no-one's going to strap them down and shove a needle in their arm.

No.

A primary aged child cannot possibly weigh up risks and make an informed decision.

my ds refused his once had a huge meltdown and the nurse said ‘he needs to have his voice heard’ and refused to proceed . He was 3. We were quite shocked. We booked with another nurse a week later and she let us just hold him tight and she did it in about 0.5 seconds 😂😂😂

I mean this is clearly bizarre in many ways but surely it depends how you present it to the 4 year old?! I might have “asked” in a persuasive manor without it really being a choice:

E.g. Shall we go and get some medicine squirted up your nose that will stop you getting really poorly? It feels a bit tickley, just takes a second and you’ll get a sticker after.

I would've phrased that as 'We need to go'....

Otherwise what are you going to say if they answer your question with a firm 'NO!'? 🤣

No, of course I bloody wouldn't. This is the behaviour of inadequate adults who are too feeble to parent effectively. The Mother should be bitterly ashamed of herself.

4 is ridiculous and they won’t be able to make any informed choice about it.

Nope at 4 parents make medical/health choices