Wife wants step children back.

[stephen8]

My step children 7 , 8 and 10 (wife's daughters) have lived with me full time now for 2 years 7 months, in this time their biological dad has seen them once and mum has seen them around 15 times.

Neither one of them have paid towards the children or bought them anything in this time, I have fully provided for them. Yesterday evening, I received this email from my wife.

Dear stephen.

Hi.

I am letting you know that I have recently rented a house in x area and will shortly be moving into it. I will be coming to collect the girls on Tuesday the 12th novemeber.

I think it's best you step back and don't have contact with them. They will need time to adjust and settle in, and contact with you will confuse them and make them unsettled.

Please can you make sure the girls' things are all packed up and ready for the 12th.

Thank you.

I am devastated, these girls are my daughters, I've been in their life for 6 years and for the last two and a half years I've brought them up myself, they call me dad I'm the only parent they really know. I've not spoke to the girls about this yet but they will absolutely not be wanting to go and stay with their mum, infact they don't even want to see her, she's let them down too many times now and the trust is gone.
Has anyone been through this before? Do I have a leg to stand on? I'm assuming I have no choice but to hand the kids over on the 12th? She has financially ruined me with her gambling addiction, I don't think I can afford a lawyer, I'm aware I'm not biologically their dad but I'm the only dad they know, it would destroy them to be taken from me.

It would be even more concerning that after 2 years of caring for them 30 hours a week it had never come up that their mother left. Why would 3 little childer never talk about their home life at all?

The very best of luck to you OP. I hope you get legal custody. You sound like a great dad.

If you are a purely a step-parent who has stepped up, your priority should be building a relationship between your wife's children and their mum. Your ex needs help and support and her children need her.

Of course they wouldn't! The way in which the OP has been attacked by many people is typical of the sheer hypocrisy of MN.
Good luck with this, if the children never want to see their 'mother' again then they should not be forced to. Maybe she can start supporting the poor children she abandoned by paying child support, they way in which a man would have to.

@Fluufer tutors are unregulated. They don't need qualifications or even DBS checks to advertise and work as tutors. When home educating the responsibility for the children education fall to the parents.

I think this is an illegal school. Childminders who care for home Ed kids can't even do the work with them without risking their ofsted reg. but as tutors are unlicensed 🤷‍♀️. However to care for children and be paid for it (which is the case here as tutor has the kids without OP) for more than two hours a day you legally have to be registered with ofsted. This tutor is breaking the law big time

Good luck tomorrow OP I so hope you get to continue to keep the girls.
I’m totally ashamed at some of the vile posts on here, they say men are abusive, but there are some very nasty minded vindictive women on here who are a disgrace to the human race!

You sound like an amazing Dad Stephen and your girls are lucky to have you in their lives. I wish you the very best of luck.

I believe you, and I wish you all the very best for tomorrow and the future. You sound like a wonderful father and the girls are lucky to have you.

What rubbish! She abandoned her children in favour of a hedonistic lifestyle, no-one in their right mind would want a woman like that to have charge of children. She chose her way, why should any support be given to her, presumably at public expense?

I'm sorry you are going through this. I'd seek legal advice asap!

No shit Sherlock.

Please ignore all the outrageous suppositions and accusations.

It sounds like the girls have a fantastic dad in you, and I'm sorry so many people on here are making such wild statements about you.

I hope tomorrow goes well, and that the girls remain where they're clearly very loved and looked after.

I never said she should have charge of the children or support at the public's expense. I said the girls deserve a relationship with their mum who needs support. This man (if he exists) isn't their parent.
If he does exist we should all bookmark this post since he could have invaluable advice on how to get social workers and court appearances at a moment's notice while working full time and single handed bringing up three children who aren't his.

Home schooling is not a new phenomenon so that is not a red flag

Attending an illegal unregistered school, which is what going to a tutor’s house full-time with 5 (2 siblings and 3 others) other CSA DC is classed as, should be a concern.

Please keep us updated how things are going. I really hope for a happy ending here. I am genuinely rooting for you and YOUR girls bless ya x

These things do move very quickly when children's safety is at stake. Rightly so.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow OP 🌺 best of luck

It's certainly a very strange set up and not one I've ever heard of

Unfortunately, unregistered schools are not unheard of.

@stephen8 I think you sound like a wonderful father, and I hope it all works out for the best for you and your girls. Good luck.

How would the tutor know the step father doesn't have PR? Why would you expect them to question the living arrangements? It's really not any of their concern. Unless the tutor saw signs of neglect or abuse I wouldn't expect them to give it a second thought. The tutor teaches the kids. The parents separated and they stayed with one parent. The end, as far as the tutor is concerned. Do you really think the tutor would have phoned social services at that point? Why?

Good luck for tomorrow, keep doing right by the girls.

If she had made an accusation of kidnap she would have got nowhere given that she walked out and has seen the children on a number of occasions subsequently.

If you had bothered to read OP's posts you would have seen that he had seen a solicitor some time before your post.

How is the children's safety at stake to the point that social services would have ragged the referral as red and visited within a few hours? That's only done when a child presents at school with an injury, or discloses sexual abuse for example. There is absolutely nothing here that would lead a social work manager to send a social worker out on a same day urgent visit. Nothing.